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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 73. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 21:29:02
My therapist keeps saying he can see me, but I need help pretty soon. I'm going to check with him tomorrow and see what he thinks about someone short term.
This s*cks.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 22:07:14
In reply to Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 21:29:02
((((((Dinah))))))))
yeah. it sucks :-(
it might be nice to have a chat to someone though.
thinking of you.
:-)
Posted by Annierose on September 12, 2005, at 22:14:54
In reply to Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 21:29:02
It does s*ck! At a time when you would need your therapists the most, he is stuck in the same depressing situation you are. I wish he was more available. I wish he could read your mind and see how much you need him now. But I think talking to somebody would be a good idea in the short term. You need support. Maybe your asking him about short term options will spring him into action now.
Any new word on immediate plans? I was planning to babblemail you, then saw your post.
Dinah - what you are living through is hard. I would get help where I could until my favorite T in the whole world became available again. And he will. But in the meantime, it's okay to have someone else to help hold up that stool. It would be different, that is for sure, it won't be him, but it could help with the depressing thoughts and realities of your current life in a hotel (Seriously Dinah, I would be bouncing off the walls, and my husband would need to sleep in the car!).
I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers. You are special. And needed by so many. Take care of yourself.
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 22:39:14
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy » Dinah, posted by Annierose on September 12, 2005, at 22:14:54
We're supposed to hear something tomorrow. I guess I should at least wait till after that since we might not be here long enough to make an appointment.
But I just feel the pressure building and I really hate to melt down.
There's a reason I'm in long term therapy.
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 22:43:15
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy » Dinah, posted by Annierose on September 12, 2005, at 22:14:54
It's going surprisingly well in that direction. I haven't looked up divorce lawyers in the Yellow Pages for over a week.
But it sure would help the relationship if there were two internet hookups.
He gets on for work before I wake up, and by the time he gets off, it's time for dinner, and then I can barely stay awake long enough to babble or IM or anything. :(((((((
To be without my home, my therapist, and largely without Babble is quite a strain on my stool, as you might imagine. At least I've got a couple of my fluffballs with me to cover me with wet sticky dog kisses and force me out of bed to let them go potty.
Posted by daisym on September 12, 2005, at 23:20:49
In reply to Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 21:29:02
I'm praying for all of you, including the fluff balls.
I hope you find some support soon. Maybe there is a group you could join, I suspect there are lots of people in your shoes. I think the hotel should donate a room for therapists to see patients. What a great thing that would be!
Please keep checking in and let us know what you need. We miss you here.
Posted by LadyBug on September 12, 2005, at 23:50:31
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy » Dinah, posted by daisym on September 12, 2005, at 23:20:49
I wish you more than anything that you could see your therapist. Can he come to your hotel and meet you somewhere?????? Is there a conference room or something you could meet in. I remember you saying he is about 10 blocks from you. There just has to be a way. I hope you can return to your home very soon.
You, your family, your therapist and your fluffballs all ALL in my prayers. Things have to get better soon. I can't imagine being in your shoes. I have seperation anxiety and this would be such a challenge for me.
Keep in touch when you can. Hope all goes well.
LadyBug
Posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 4:38:47
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therap, posted by LadyBug on September 12, 2005, at 23:50:31
They were curled up next to me tonight, and it felt so darned good that I just now took my meds because I didn't want to get up and risk them moving.
Unlike the dogs who died, only one of these routinely curls up beside me.
They're sister and brother, inseparable, and it's nearly impossible for me to think of them singly. I think it's nearly impossible for them to think of themselves singly. I think I envy them that, which should tell a lot about me psychologically. It's funny. I've known a lot of dog siblings and none were like this.
Posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2005, at 7:05:17
In reply to Pet therapy, posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 4:38:47
Take your son to the children's room at the library where you are staying - have him sit in on a storytime (it will be for little kids, but he can show them how to sit still and listen, and he'll like the stories, too). Or maybe they need someone to do simple tasks (like pull all the books to the front of the shelf, or stamp the books with the library name, or dust) that he could do. Then he wouldn't be going so stir crazy.
This will free you up for some time on the library's computers!!! and you can chat with us and Babble.
And I think a shortterm, interim, therapist would be a good idea. Don't assume they wouldn't have any appointments open for weeks. Maybe someone cancelled their appointment for tomorrow...
Posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 7:41:59
In reply to Re: Library therapy » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2005, at 7:05:17
I'll be calling today, subject to my therapist's ok.
(Ok, maybe I don't want him to give his ok, but I'll call anyway.)
I might look into libraries. We are amazed that just about everything you could possibly want is just an easy drive from our hotel. We lucked out.
I need to find some doctors too. I *think* the pharmacy might renew my expired (by a week, darnit) prescription, but my underarms are on fire, and I don't have the medication for that. And my right toes are freezing, but my left toes aren't. And those close to unconscious sleeps that my husband can't rouse me from, or he can but only briefly and I don't make any sense. Anyway, although my blood sugars look fine on the meter I broke down and bought, it might be that a checkup is in order. Although I think it's stress related more than medical.
Posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2005, at 8:08:46
In reply to Re: Library therapy » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 7:41:59
(the point of the library suggestion was to give you more internet access...)
Posted by sunny10 on September 13, 2005, at 8:26:53
In reply to Re: Library therapy » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2005, at 8:08:46
good for you for sticking up for your needs, Dinah.
Go for it- your T will understand. He's probably thinking about seeing someone himself at this point!
kisses,
sunny10
Posted by orchid on September 13, 2005, at 8:33:39
In reply to Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 21:29:02
Hi Dinah,
Isn't phone therapy wiht your T possible? I think it might be difficult to bond with someone new in times of crisis.I am sorry I couldn't follow all the posts. Have been travelling frequently and only now I am at my home. I know you are staying in a temporary place. I hope things go well for you. Where is your T? Isn't he reachable at all?
Posted by terrics on September 13, 2005, at 11:10:49
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 22:07:14
Hi Dinah, Thank goodness that we do have psycho- babble. I came back because we seem to help each other alot here or at least we get some TLC. My T. does not give any TLC because it does not go with the program I am in, and sometimes I need TLC. You seem to need some TLC now. I have also used the Samaritans. You can write your heart out and they will answer in 24-48 hrs.( usually 24) Just knowing that some help is on the way calms me alot. Their answers are caring and they give helpful sugggestions. As long as you keep writing they will respond. I found that knowing they were there gave me some peace. Just in case you want to write to them hear is their e-mail address: jo@samaritans.org
terrics
Posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 12:53:04
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy » alexandra_k, posted by terrics on September 13, 2005, at 11:10:49
I called him and left a message that I needed help, and that many had suggested that I contact someone else short term, and I didn't really want to do that, but I needed help.
He called me back and arranged me to see him tomorrow at what sounds like the house he's staying at. I don't know what he's planning to tell me, but if it was go find someone else, wouldn't it have been by phone?
So tomorrow I drive three hours each way to see him, and hopefully we can work together.
I didn't mean to make him feel bad, although of course i don't want it to be ok with him for me to see someone else, either.
i was just feeling so bad, and it's affecting my health, and I didn't know what else to do.
I feel sort of guilty though.
Posted by LadyBug on September 13, 2005, at 13:08:57
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 12:53:04
Dinah
DON'T feel guilty. My therapist would tell me she didn't offer me an appointment if she didn't want to or couldn't and I'm sure he's thinking the same way. Is he going to see you for longer than one hour? I would think with a 3 hour commute each way, he would spend more time with you. Anticipation......it must seem unreal to you that you actually get to see him tomorrow. I'm so glad, I can only imagine the difficulity it must be for you. I bet you want to embrace him and never let him go. I would! I think it would even be appropriate to give or take a hug.
I wish you the very best posible visit tomorrow and you will come away with somethings that will help you along your path right now. Take something small with you to leave (a part of you) with him and perhaps he can give you something to take home too.
I'll be thinking about you Dinah!!! Hope your travel is safe and no harm or danger comes to you and most of all, the visit helps you overcome the pain of the seperation you have had.
Warmly,
LadyBug
Posted by Sonya on September 13, 2005, at 14:07:51
In reply to Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2005, at 21:29:02
Dinah, I'm so glad you get to see your T tomorrow. Good luck with your session. I sure hope you feel better soon. Will you show him other babblers messages to him? I'd love to hear what his reaction was.
Sonya
Posted by Annierose on September 13, 2005, at 15:51:15
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 12:53:04
I'm so glad that you have an appointment for tomorrow. Please be extra safe on the drive over. You'll be emotionally vulnerable, I believe, more than you feel now. I think he wants to see you asap because you expressed to him how much pain you are in. And he realized that you needed him. I don't think he is telling you anything different.
I sure hope you can see him longer than an hour. Is your husband okay with watching your son all day?
I'lll be thinking about you all day tomorrow. I hope you're able to receive the support that you need and want. You need to have that good cry that has been building for 2+ weeks.
Posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 18:26:41
In reply to Re: Thinking of looking for very short term therapy, posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 12:53:04
He's planning to relocate to where he is for at least a year, and quite possibly permanently. He has plans to come back one day a week to see clients that, frankly, hinge on an unrealistic expectation that I don't really feel free to publicly explain, but that only my scatterbrained therapist could possibly think was realistic.
He says I can come see him once or twice a week as well. It's about a three hour drive one way from home too. Maybe more under semipermanent traffic conditions. Yes, I feel that I'm willing to do that at this point. But losing a day everytime I want therapy is going to be costly.
He says he's willing to maintain that situation for as long as it remains tenable (for him, not me) and that he can make no long term commitment.
Now I have to decide what to do.
Part of me thinks this is a good way to wean off him. Perhaps see him once a week, and see someone else once a week. And ultimately do what I want to do at this point, which is move to a city I've long wanted to move to. I have nothing, without him, to tie me to New Orleans. It won't be easy to budge my husband, and our house is probably worth a fraction of what it was worth before this, but I think it would be worth it. A fresh start. That's my brain.
My gut thinks that I just as well kill myself now and save myself the slow pain of slow loss. And uncertainty. And the ugly transfiguration of my safe place into a place of danger and constant uncertainty. I just can't bear to lose that leg of my stool. I can't bear to lose him and Daddy and Harry. And all I tell myself about how it would hurt my husband and son are just met with the implacable certainty that if I'm dead I won't have to deal with all that. Sort of what Daddy used to say.
There's no need to worry unduly. I'm planning to up my Risperdal to daily which should drown the plans of my emotional self. This really is a blessing. By doing this slowly, he's given me the time to do what I need to do to survive.
I will probably bring the posts for him, and I'll let you guys know what he says.
Again, my internet time is very limited, and will be for some time. So don't worry if you don't hear much from me.
Posted by jammerlich on September 13, 2005, at 18:41:51
In reply to Found out more - bad news (Trigger), posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 18:26:41
((((((((((Dinah))))))))))
My heart just sank as I read your email. The unpredictability of life is so frightening and painful sometimes.
I like what you said about a fresh start, though. I'm going to hold out hope for you on that front, just in case you can't by yourself.
Dinah, you are a special person to all of us here and I'm sorry that you have to be going through all this sh!t. (Sorry for the language, but sometimes you have to call it what it is.) It just isn't fair (as she yells and stamps her foot).
Posted by Annierose on September 13, 2005, at 18:49:53
In reply to Found out more - bad news (Trigger), posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 18:26:41
Of course we are goiong to worry about you! Life is so uncertain at times.
I can't believe he is just ditching his practice like that. But these are unusual circumstances, that's an understatement.
Please take care of yourself. You are so important to your family, your pets, your friends, your internet friends and me. I hope you can find some on-going support right now with another therapist. Just think of this person as someone to help sort out all these feelings. You're not replacing your T. He'll still be there for you when you are able to see him.
As my T would say, "sometimes people in our life disappoint us."
(((((((((( DINAH ))))))))))) ... and I don't give hugs very often :-(
Posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2005, at 22:13:44
In reply to Found out more - bad news (Trigger), posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 18:26:41
Oh, Dinah. That isn't what he was supposed to say.
Please drive carefully tomorrow. And please bring stuff with you so that if it isn't safe for you to drive 3 hours back, that you can stay in the city where he is overnight. Make sure you bring your meds. And you can call me if you end up staying and don't have access to the internet.
You know that he cares about you.
Don't you hate it when you think you have things all figured out and someone throws a curve ball at you and everything is up in the air again? And for those of us who count on stability to keep us together... This kind of environment is so hard.
Life without your therapist **IS** worth living. Do you remember how tied I was to my first therapist? How I thought I couldn't survive without her? How painful it was to leave? But I'm OK now - better than I was before. You and I are not the same. Your connection to your therapist is different from the connection I had with her. But the point is that I thought I wouldn't survive and I did. I thought I wouldn't survive, but I DID survive.
He will be around as long as you need him (inconveniently, but nonetheless, around). He does care about you - that's why he'll make sure that he DOES stay around as long as you need him.
I wish that I could do more for you. But at the same time, I have a basic confidence that you will figure it out. That it won't be easy. That it will be painful. But that, in the end, you *will* figure it out.
And I'll be here typing away at you, and watching you shape your life. (((((Dinah)))))
I hope the session is helpful for you tomorrow.
Love,
Falls.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 13, 2005, at 22:28:52
In reply to Re: Found out more - bad news (Trigger), posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2005, at 22:13:44
Oh Dinah. I'm so sorry you are facing this decision along with all the other stress.
You know, if your stool loses a leg, you can lean on us for as long as you need to put another one in place.
We'll be your solid wall.
gg
Posted by LadyBug on September 13, 2005, at 23:26:25
In reply to Found out more - bad news (Trigger), posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 18:26:41
Oh Dinah I had hopes for you that this would go better for you. A 3 hour drive each way? Talk about an expence to you just for gas alone and then the time etc. I'm soooooooo sorry this is happening to you.
The city you would like to move to, is it closer to where he is??? Would your husband have work there? I can't imagine what your going through. I've pictured myself in your shoes almost daily since this happened, I've even talked to my therapist about you and your situation. My heart goes out to you.
I don't think I could tolerate seeing 2 different therapists. I would feel like one was looking over the other ones back all the time, like having a third party interven.
This is all so sudden and there was no way you could prepare for it. I hope your cell phone works and you will take it with you tomorrow.
Do let us know when you can how things go.
I can't help but wonder how committed out T.s really are to any of us......it's so sad.
Hugs
LadyBug
Posted by daisym on September 13, 2005, at 23:52:58
In reply to Found out more - bad news (Trigger), posted by Dinah on September 13, 2005, at 18:26:41
(((Dinah))))
I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry that there is going to be such a great distance between you. I'm reading a book where the author drove 4 hours each way to see her therapist and she did it for 7 years. So there is hope that it can work. I think she had double sessions every other week and a phone session in between. Creativity is going to be required here by everyone.
I have faith that you will find a way to be OK. I do know what you mean about your son not being enough sometimes but you must keep remembering that he needs you. It might not be fair to be needed right now but nothing about being a parent is fair.
I'm praying for you.
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