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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
Does everybodies T.s look at them? Freaking freaks me out when mine looks at me. Like she's trying to read me or something. Aaaaagh!!! I just try to hide like an ostrich or something!!!!!:)
Posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 15:42:58
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
> Does everybodies T.s look at them? Freaking freaks me out when mine looks at me. Like she's trying to read me or something. Aaaaagh!!! I just try to hide like an ostrich or something!!!!!:)
LOL Muffled.
Mine looks at me and then takes notes. First thing he does every session even before either of us say a word. He looks me up and down (and not in a seductive, come on way, more like a clinical assessment way) maybe raises an eyebrow and scrawls something in my folder.I do not dress unusally, am always well covered, wear my hair either tied back in a ponytail or loose but nothing extravagant.
I have no idea what he finds to write about every week.
Posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:53:06
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » muffled, posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 15:42:58
whoah! i would so have to dissappear if my T. did that. And write NOTES! Holy cr*p. Your guy is like some kind of sadist or something. Sh*t. I just could no way hack that. You must be one determined cookie. :)
Posted by javableue on September 10, 2005, at 18:26:18
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » muffled, posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 15:42:58
>Mine looks at me and then takes notes. First thing he does every session even before either of us say a word. He looks me up and down (and not in a seductive, come on way, more like a clinical assessment way) maybe raises an eyebrow and scrawls something in my folder.
How strange! That would freak me out, though in my case clothing style does vary in a noticeable manner so there would be some explanation.
My therapist does look at me a good deal, which also unnerves me. The sad thing is, he's realised it bothers me and when I'm working on a difficult subject, sometimes looks away and fidgets with stuff, which, while sometimes more comfortable (the other times I do need to know he is present and listening), is really distracting!
He's got me all paranoid now too. Every now and then (I don't look at him all that often most sessions) I'll be sure he's looking at me during a period of silence, peek over to check, but sure enough, he's looking out the window or has his eyes closed or something. Maybe he's just become sneaky?
Posted by Dinah on September 10, 2005, at 20:15:20
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » muffled, posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 15:42:58
My neurologist never fails to make a note of my affect. But she's deft enough that I never realized what she did until she commented that my posture and tone were less depressed than the last time she saw me. Now I know her memory isn't THAT good, no matter how exceptional she is. I only see her a few times a year.
My therapist hardly writes anything, but he keeps fairly constant eye contact, even if my eyes are closed. And he comments on my posture or expression.
I thought they were pretty much supposed to look at you?
Posted by happyflower on September 10, 2005, at 21:08:15
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » muffled, posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 15:42:58
>> Mine looks at me and then takes notes. First thing he does every session even before either of us say a word. He looks me up and down (and not in a seductive, come on way, more like a clinical assessment way) maybe raises an eyebrow and scrawls something in my folder.
>
Okay, I would ask my T about what he was writing about. Is he keeping track of how many times I have worn the same outfit, or how many zits on my face, or what? Is he trying to guess your weight to practice for the circus when it comes to town? LOL ! I am sorry, but I would have to ask him about that. Weird! maybe he is writing down the date?
Posted by happyflower on September 10, 2005, at 21:11:16
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
My T and I keep fairly constant eye contact about 95% of the session. Unless I mention sex, then he looks down. LOL I still haven't figured that one out yet! LOL ME A VERY BAD GIRL, I guess! LOL
Posted by Poet on September 10, 2005, at 21:25:34
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
Hi Muffled,
She is trying to read you. Trying to read what your gestures or posture mean. My T can tell when I am getting uncomfortable talking about something because I cross my arms tightly and hug myself. She sometimes says *you don't have to protect yourself here.* Oh, yes, I do.
Poet
Posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 21:42:17
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » muffled, posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 15:42:58
> Mine looks at me and then takes notes. First thing he does every session even before either of us say a word. He looks me up and down more like a clinical assessment way) maybe raises an eyebrow and scrawls something in my folder.
>
cricket, your T is writing,
"i am an idiot, and must not reveal it to cricket this week! she might be on to me, so i must act like a total bozo just to throw her off!"(((hugs)))
fw
Posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 21:47:51
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
> Does everybodies T.s look at them? Freaking freaks me out when mine looks at me. Like she's trying to read me or something. Aaaaagh!!! I just try to hide like an ostrich or something!!!!!:)
Hi muffled, what is it about the way your T looks at you that bothers you? you say you feel like she's trying to read you, but is it more than normal conversational eye contact? they do have to tune into our body language, gestures, face, etc... it's all a part of communication, and the closer they tune in to us, the more they can help us. i'd say if your T is paying attn. to you, you might be luckier than some. on the other hand, if you T is making you uncomfortable, maybe you should discuss it.
my new T is very attentive, and i really appreciate that. i feel like what i have to say is important to him. BUT, if i ever cry in his presence, i'm sure i'll feel really uncomfortable, like i'm under a microscope.
fw
Posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 21:50:14
In reply to Re: T. looking at you, posted by Poet on September 10, 2005, at 21:25:34
> Hi Muffled,
>
> She is trying to read you. Trying to read what your gestures or posture mean. My T can tell when I am getting uncomfortable talking about something because I cross my arms tightly and hug myself. She sometimes says *you don't have to protect yourself here.* Oh, yes, I do.
>
> PoetAwwww Poet, i think you're awesome!
((((hugs))))
fw
Posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 22:02:48
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
When my T. looks at me,I think that what bugs me is I feel EXPOSED. I can't really control my body language, then I get freaked and "leave" in my head and can't talk. Thats all. Its actaully kinda funny in a way. I can be so ridiculous, but at least I can laugh at myself. (sometimes!)
I communicate by fax and then we sort of talk about it, cept I often can't talk!!! I am at my weirdest at my T.s office cuz its about ME and that weirds me out.
Posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 22:11:43
In reply to You guys make my day!!! Thanks all., posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 22:02:48
>>I am at my weirdest at my T.s office cuz its about ME and that weirds me out.
That's not unusual muffled, you aren't alone there. i think it's hard when the focus is on us. my ex T said that i couldn't handle it that the focus was on me. that's true, and for those of us who would just as soon melt into the wallpaper, being the focus of attention is not what we normally want. ; ) it's good that you can see the funny side of all of it! ; )
fw
Posted by Poet on September 10, 2005, at 22:39:55
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » Poet, posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 21:50:14
Hi Fairywings,
I give my T the stink eye when I get mad at her. I know I do it, because she does it right back at me to try to get me to laugh.
Former pdoc once told me I was *glowering* at him. So I guess he hasn't mastered the return stink eye treatment.
Thanks for thinking I am awesome. I'm just very civil on babble. You can't see my facial expressions...
Poet
Posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 22:46:18
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » fairywings, posted by Poet on September 10, 2005, at 22:39:55
Posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 22:49:20
In reply to Re: Stink eye? LOL u r too funny! (nm) » Poet, posted by fairywings on September 10, 2005, at 22:46:18
Thats what we call it in our family!
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 11, 2005, at 0:15:37
In reply to Hairy eyeball!, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 22:49:20
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 11, 2005, at 0:20:23
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
Sometimes I feel embarassed about what I am saying and want to disappear, so I close my eyes. When I'm really embarassed I close my eyes and cover them with my hands. I'm not quite sure why I believe this makes me invisible. I think lots of us would rather our T's didn't see us, at least some of the time.
Reading stuff on this board makes me miss my T right now. She's really great. It's after 1 am and I'm always a little lonely at this hour. I wish my cats could talk back to me. Oh well, I'll see my T Tuesday.
Best,
EE
Posted by muffled on September 11, 2005, at 1:35:04
In reply to Re: T. looking at you, posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 11, 2005, at 0:20:23
Hey I see my T. tuesday too! Thanks for reply.
Waxing hairy eyeballs is NOT good! Take care.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 11, 2005, at 9:20:13
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » Emily Elizabeth, posted by muffled on September 11, 2005, at 1:35:04
I tend to look away from my T most of the time, especially when I'm thinking or trying to figure out what I'm feelings, etc. Whenever I do look at him, such as when he's talking or at times I feel "brave enough" to, he's looking at me. I think that's okay. Although when I first went to twice a week sessions, I felt VERY exposed and uncomfortable.
It kind of makes me giggle to think about what I must look like from his persective. I never thought of myself as a "poor eye contact" person, but there you go. :)
I tend to look at my clients most of the time, too. I agree with others who have said that it's an important source of information. I don't take notes right then, though. But I look for things like changes in grooming..i.e. are they "all made up" or do they look tired as if they just crawled out of bed. Sometimes this is signficant; sometimes this is just situational.
Posted by muffled on September 11, 2005, at 10:54:53
In reply to Re: T. looking at you, posted by gardenergirl on September 11, 2005, at 9:20:13
> I tend to look away from my T most of the time, especially when I'm thinking or trying to figure out what I'm feelings, etc. Whenever I do look at him, such as when he's talking or at times I feel "brave enough" to, he's looking at me. I think that's okay. Although when I first went to twice a week sessions, I felt VERY exposed and uncomfortable.
>
> It kind of makes me giggle to think about what I must look like from his persective. I never thought of myself as a "poor eye contact" person, but there you go. :)
>
> I tend to look at my clients most of the time, too. I agree with others who have said that it's an important source of information. I don't take notes right then, though. But I look for things like changes in grooming..i.e. are they "all made up" or do they look tired as if they just crawled out of bed. Sometimes this is signficant; sometimes this is just situational.I'm glad you can giggle too. Its best that way. I think sometimes I must look so silly trying to hide myself and still keep myself from running away at the same time! One time I just kept bending over farther and farther in my chair. Then I finally hit my legs so then I tilted my head lower, but my neck only goes so far! I must've looked SO dumb! Oh well. If thats the worst I'm ok w/that.:)
My only problem, that a real problem for me in trying to communicate, is that I leave the situation for awhile. I can hear, even sort of respond, but I'm not there. Its weird and screws me up, cuz I can't think properly when I'm that way. Thats why i just give my T. my writings mostly. Thanks for reply.
Posted by fairywings on September 11, 2005, at 11:18:09
In reply to Re: T. looking at you, posted by gardenergirl on September 11, 2005, at 9:20:13
>> But I look for things like changes in grooming..i.e. are they "all made up" or do they look tired as if they just crawled out of bed. Sometimes this is signficant; sometimes this is just situational.
ooo gosh, will have to keep an eye on how i look grooming wise, never thought too much about that! LOL just one more thing to have anxiety over! ; ) I usually look the same most of the time. u r too funny gg, to think u look away from ur T too! wonder if he looked away from his T when he was doing therapy?!
fw
Posted by terrics on September 11, 2005, at 22:56:48
In reply to T. looking at you, posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 15:23:31
Yes my T. stares at me and it is disconcerting; But then I stare back. It seems like a battle about who can stare the longest. Do you stare back? terics
Posted by muffled on September 11, 2005, at 23:02:11
In reply to Re: T. looking at you » muffled, posted by terrics on September 11, 2005, at 22:56:48
> Yes my T. stares at me and it is disconcerting; But then I stare back. It seems like a battle about who can stare the longest. Do you stare back? terics
I was feeling a little sad but that sounds funny! If only I DARED! What if I made her cry or something. If you stare at a dog , it can make it bite you if its aggressive!
You are very much braver than me. :)
You made me smile.
Thanks.
Posted by cricket on September 12, 2005, at 7:29:50
In reply to You guys make my day!!! Thanks all., posted by muffled on September 10, 2005, at 22:02:48
Yes, you all make mine too.
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