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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rubenstein on September 8, 2005, at 21:56:25
My therapist told me last week that he felt like he had failed me. That he wasn't helping me. We talked about it and things seem to be better but I can't get that thought out of my mind. I feel like such the bad patient, the thing I was least trying to be. Granted that is part of my problem but those words still ring in my head. Any advice??
Rachel
Posted by gardenergirl on September 9, 2005, at 0:07:19
In reply to getting nowhere?, posted by rubenstein on September 8, 2005, at 21:56:25
Oh my, that must have been difficult to hear. No wonder it's running through your head. I'm thinking that your T must have been expressing internal frustration and perhaps a sense of helplessness, NOT that you are/were a bad client. Perhaps your T could seek consultation in order to get things moving again.
Or maybe it's not or no longer a good fit between you? (I know I would HATE that answer, sorry). But maybe that's what is trying to be expressed?
At any rate, the standard suggestion applies...ask about it. Share your feelings about how it sounded to you and how you reacted.
((((rubenstein))))
gg
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 9, 2005, at 9:49:10
In reply to getting nowhere?, posted by rubenstein on September 8, 2005, at 21:56:25
I don't know if I have advice, but my therapist once said a similar thing to me. It made me scared. In my case, I agree w/ GG's thought that she was trying to express her frustration with our "stuckness" related to my depression. It wasn't a criticism of me at all. In fact, it was sort of the opposite...a self-criticism. When I expressed concerns about being a bad client, she reiterated that I didn't have to fix everything by myself. If we were always supposed to do that, there wouldn't be any need for psychologists!
I make this story sound nice and neat, but this scenario was repeated a few times. We continue to work together and it is a major source of strength in my life.
So...ask your T abt it. I image you will feel better about the response than you abt the worry.
Best,
EE
Posted by cricket on September 9, 2005, at 11:17:49
In reply to getting nowhere?, posted by rubenstein on September 8, 2005, at 21:56:25
Hi Rachel,
I agree with EmilyElizabeth. It may not be as bad as it sounds.
It is honest and a starting point, right?
Actually if my T ever said anything like that to me, I think I would be doing a happy dance right now.
Posted by rubenstein on September 9, 2005, at 13:42:27
In reply to Re: getting nowhere? » rubenstein, posted by cricket on September 9, 2005, at 11:17:49
I saw him today, and things were better. I think maybe we just had a bump along the road again and he wanted to make me aware of that. maybe even to give me some hope or something. Anyway, thanks for all your help, I don't know what I would do without y'all
Rach
Posted by Dinah on September 9, 2005, at 19:09:24
In reply to getting nowhere?, posted by rubenstein on September 8, 2005, at 21:56:25
My therapist said this to me once or twice. My response was to prepare a whole argument about how I was improving and why therapy was helping and other reasons I could be doing worse now than before therapy.
I think I convinced him.
This is the end of the thread.
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