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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on September 4, 2005, at 22:25:19
My abuser is gone, maybe not dead,she lives in the same town, but is gone from my life, from my mind. My mom is a stranger to me. The painful memories are no longer controling me. She is gone, the abusive memories will not ever be forgotten, but they no longer have control over my life. I no longer crave the love I have never recieved.
I can walk into a store, and not look over my shoulder afraid that if she sees me she will hurt me or abduct my kids. If I see her, I will see nothing. She is nothing to me anymore.
Will I visit her on her death bed? No, she is already dead to me. Will I visit her grave? No, why she means nothing to me, bad or good.
I guess the only credit is that she brought me into this world. But as a infant, child and teenager, she took away my happiness, sparkle in my eye that every child has, diginity, innocence, my love, made me a stone child .But this stone child has chipped away the outer shell with the help of my T and I am stronger than a diamond. I don't have to fear her, because she is not a diamond that can cut me, she is nothing but a vague memory. She is weak.
It has taken me 36 years to take back my life, thanks to therapy, I will have many more years of HAPPY memories that I will create.My childhood is gone, but in this case I am lucky I got out alive from it. Yes I am a survior, but now I want to thrive! Life can be a good thing, I am learning for the first time!
Good bye, my abusive mother, you are gone from my life, my thoughts, now I can start living for the first time, thanks to the help of my therapist. I no longer fear you, I don't need you, I no longer want your love, because you are nothing to me. You are nothing. Good bye.
Posted by fairywings on September 4, 2005, at 22:33:45
In reply to My mom is now gone forever, posted by happyflower on September 4, 2005, at 22:25:19
Hi Happy
I am glad you have made peace with your past, but it's so sad that you suffered so much as a child and had to go so long afraid of your mom. she did horrible things. i'm so sorry for all you went throgh. i'm glad you have such a great T though!fw
Posted by antigua on September 5, 2005, at 19:20:19
In reply to My mom is now gone forever, posted by happyflower on September 4, 2005, at 22:25:19
Wow, that was wonderful. You can live your own life now. I don't have anything really to say, just that I was glad for you.
antigua
Posted by gardenergirl on September 5, 2005, at 20:27:58
In reply to Re: My mom is now gone forever » happyflower, posted by antigua on September 5, 2005, at 19:20:19
What a big step. I hope you find peace and relief from the pain of your past.
gg
Posted by happyflower on September 5, 2005, at 21:48:39
In reply to Re: My mom is now gone forever » happyflower, posted by fairywings on September 4, 2005, at 22:33:45
Thanks FW, I do have a great T, he got through to me when no one has ever. He made me feel safe to discuss this stuff and he never judged me because of my past. I am truley grateful for his help. I am a better person for having to know him. :)
Posted by happyflower on September 5, 2005, at 21:50:22
In reply to Re: My mom is now gone forever » happyflower, posted by antigua on September 5, 2005, at 19:20:19
Thanks for your support Anitgua! I do really feel much better. Therapy is a good thing when it goes right. I must have been really lucky to get such a wonderful T on the first try. Good luck in your therapy!
Posted by happyflower on September 5, 2005, at 21:59:06
In reply to Re: My mom is now gone forever, posted by gardenergirl on September 5, 2005, at 20:27:58
> What a big step. I hope you find peace and relief from the pain of your past.
>
> ggThanks gardengirl! I do feel at peace and it is such a relief. But it was SO hard to go through those memories that had been repressed.
My T has really been supportive of me, letting me go at my own pace. It took forever to trust him because I had trouble trusting anyone, but I have leaned to trust him little by little and have used that tool to trust people in my personal life.I believe in therapy now! LOL I hope you help others like my T has for me. How many years do you have to go?
My T supervisises training T's in college. I was lucky to have such an experinced T on my first try! But he did say I was challenging! But least I wasn't boring, I keep him on his toes. Any less of a T, I would have probably eaten him for lunch! LOL Good luck in your therapy and in school! :)
Posted by terrics on September 8, 2005, at 9:56:55
In reply to My mom is now gone forever, posted by happyflower on September 4, 2005, at 22:25:19
What encouragement for those of us who have or had similar problems. My mom has completely taken over my life. But it continues. She is very sick right now and I feel this is not the time to break away. Although I think I would never have your courage. terrics
Posted by happyflower on September 8, 2005, at 10:04:51
In reply to Re: My mom is now gone forever, posted by terrics on September 8, 2005, at 9:56:55
> What encouragement for those of us who have or had similar problems. My mom has completely taken over my life. But it continues. She is very sick right now and I feel this is not the time to break away. Although I think I would never have your courage. terrics
Hi terrics,
I had to do what I had to in order to heal my life and move forward. It was very hard, and I was like you without much courage. But there always comes a breaking point when you can't take the abuse anymore. I finally reached that point. GOod luck to you!
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