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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by danish on August 22, 2005, at 20:17:45
Ok, well here goes...I've been seeing a therapist, and it turns out that I really like her. I was able to open up (for the most part) and, unfortunately, become very attached to her. Since she was only allowed to see me until I graduated (she is my college therapist), I had to say goodbye, which was so incredibly hard. I kept in touch through email a few times over the summer, which helped me out a lot. Now, I decided to go back to my college to go to grad school. School rules say she is only allowed to see me for a semester and I have already used up my time with her, however, they are bending the rules slightly and allowing me to see her for another 8 sessions of individual therapy. My dilemma is that I will see her for the 8 sessions, but how am I going to say goodbye again?? I don't know if I can do it all over again, it hurts too bad. Should I see her again?? It is just that I was finally able to open up and feel comfortable enough to tell her things and just as I started feeling safe, I get the shaft!!! Is that healthy to start therapy with someone and not continue?? I mean I know it is beyond her control, but what the hell?!?! I am just so lost, confused, hurt, upset. I just need help sorting out everything, and what should I do so I don't feel like she is abandoning me...and trust me, I have abandonment issues.
Posted by daisym on August 22, 2005, at 23:22:44
In reply to therapy and attachment, posted by danish on August 22, 2005, at 20:17:45
Your situation sounds really hard. I'm not sure if it was me that I would go for only 8 sessions just to say good-bye again. I think I'd hold close to my heart the fact that she was willing to bend the rules and see me, and let that be a sweet way to close things.
That said, if you decide to see her for the 8 sessions, I think it would be helpful to set a concrete goal for the short time and work on that and on saying good-bye and letting go. It could be that you could use these sessions to tell her everything you want/need to and really feel like you have no regrets, other than termination itself.
I've said it before, University therapy seems really hard in its "ready or not" the semester is over.
Posted by danish on August 23, 2005, at 19:09:13
In reply to Re: therapy and attachment » danish, posted by daisym on August 22, 2005, at 23:22:44
The thing is that I am so attached that 8 sessions would be so incredible just because I would get to see her. It's comforting. I do have a lot of things I need/want to tell her, but the goodbyes and letting go are very hard tasks for me. I have a really hard time getting over people I am attached to. I mean, it took me 3 years to get over my first boyfriend, and I am still not over one of my other doctors. If you have any advice on getting over attachments, I am open to any ideas. I am pretty desperate because this is just too painful. Also, I forgot to mention that after the 8 sessions, she offered to see me in group. I am not so sure about the group thing, I am very shy, and I don't know how well I would do in that type of therapy.
Posted by Daisym on August 24, 2005, at 0:06:54
In reply to Re: therapy and attachment, posted by danish on August 23, 2005, at 19:09:13
I wish I had words of wisdom about getting over attachments. I think if you go in knowing you need to work on ending, it might be a tiny bit easier. Try and leave no regrets and nothing unsaid. Be bold and brave. That way you can know that you made the most of the time.
And you might try the group thing. I've never done it, but others have and have found it useful. It might be the perfect way to ease off of her. Good luck.
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