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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on August 7, 2005, at 20:27:21
Has anyone ever felt like they'd been manipulated by their therapist into doing what they wanted you to do. For example, a therapist might say, " you have a serious illness and you should see me every week." Even when you repeatedly tell him/her you don't have the money. Anyone? Got stories?
-Angela2
Posted by LadyBug on August 7, 2005, at 20:52:24
In reply to being manipulated, posted by Angela2 on August 7, 2005, at 20:27:21
My T. will tell me, I think we better stay in contact. Last week when I was in, I was struggling and she said, "I think you better come back in this week." I said, "good luck with that one, I have to work the rest of the week." When I left, she said, "we better have an appointment on the docket"....I said "no" and walked out. I don't think she wants to lose the money I pay her even though she gives me a reduced rate. I can't afford therapy all the time and it makes the work even more painful because I feel like a loser.
Anyway, I can relate to them getting us to come back and we feel like we have to because they like us to depend on them. It's their business they are running, if they didn't have returning patients, then they'd go broke!!
Do they really care about us, or just their pocketbook???
I say do what works best for you no matter what your T. says.
LadyBug
Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2005, at 21:11:11
In reply to being manipulated, posted by Angela2 on August 7, 2005, at 20:27:21
My therapist shamelessly uses our relationship at times. But he does it for my benefit. Like he'll tell me I need to get my work done because if I don't I'll lose my medical reimbursement, and I won't get to see him as much. It's too obvious to be offended.
Posted by rockymtnhi on August 7, 2005, at 22:47:36
In reply to being manipulated, posted by Angela2 on August 7, 2005, at 20:27:21
I told my T that I did not want to see him again for a few months because I am too busy this summer. He said that he didn't think it was in my best interest because we lose the connection (which has been unraveling).
Although I am certain that my T works for the money, I haven't ever felt that he saw me only for my money. If he wasn't seeing me, he would see someone else in that time slot.
Angela, is something going on between you and your T that makes it feel like you are being manipulated? It sounds to me like she is concerned.
Posted by Angela2 on August 8, 2005, at 7:53:06
In reply to Re: being manipulated » Angela2, posted by rockymtnhi on August 7, 2005, at 22:47:36
A little bit of both. She has reason to be concerned about me, but there are times when I don't need to come in when she has pushed me to come in anyway. The manipulation is obvious.
Posted by orchid on August 8, 2005, at 14:23:04
In reply to Re: being manipulated » rockymtnhi, posted by Angela2 on August 8, 2005, at 7:53:06
If you really feel you are being manipulated, then tell her that politely.
Tell her that you understand her concern, but that you don't have that much money to spend on therapy. And the bottom line is that, that is the reality.
She might be really be more concerned for you, but since you don't have money to spend, ultimately, it is for you to decide.
Posted by fallsfall on August 8, 2005, at 19:04:09
In reply to Re: being manipulated » rockymtnhi, posted by Angela2 on August 8, 2005, at 7:53:06
Can you try to tell her that you are feeling manipulated? She may not have understood your situation. Or, it is possible that you are involved with a bit of transference here - that you might have been manipulated in the past by someone else, and you are being reminded of that. The only way to know is to talk about it.
If you don't think you need to see her as often, then you should talk about that, too.
These conversations are so hard, but I find them to be the most valuable conversations in my therapy. Keep trying to talk about it until you are satisfied that the two of you are on the same page. Good luck!
This is the end of the thread.
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