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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 17:14:14
I sent an email to the t who was recomended on the assessment. Just to inform her that the funding was declined and to apologise about running out of there - but that I was pretty stressed out in general and about meeting her in particular.
I got a response. Thanks for the apology there is payment outstanding and prompt payment would be appreciated.
??????
I replied that I contacted her for an appoitment but that sometime between my contacting her and my meeting her she spoke with p-doc. She allowed him to set the agenda for the session (re acc) rather than me (re getting to know each other). So she should foward payment concerns onto him (so he can take it to the funding committee).
I said I was going to pay her for a couple sessions - but that she allowed him to set the agenda.
Why should I have to pay to be dragged through that?
If I'd have known it was going to be about that I wouldn't have gone if she had have paid me.Is this understandable (really)?
Or have I lost the plot a little?
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 17:20:14
In reply to payment due???, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 17:14:14
Because it is time. Time taken. And I took some time. No doubt about that.
I am starting to think that is really is for the best that the funding was turned down.
I don't like her.
I'm not impressed with what I've seen so far.
Yeah, I looked like something the cat dragged in that day...
But then I was in hospital the next.
I wasn't well.
If she can't deal with that we better not work together.
It wasn't a job interview
(thanks to whoever said that).
She didn't even say anything like 'you are looking a little fragile' or any acknowledgement at all.
She didn't attempt to connect with me at all.
If she had have - I would have noticed.
I would.
Well f*ck her.
And I'm oh so tempted to foward that on...
Posted by Tamar on July 5, 2005, at 17:31:04
In reply to payment due???, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 17:14:14
I have to say I think the moral high ground is yours, although legally you are probably liable for her fee.
It stinks.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 18:24:44
In reply to Re: payment due??? » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on July 5, 2005, at 17:31:04
sh*t.
ok... have been thinking... if you go to see a movie and you don't enjoy it then you still have to pay. i get that.
back then i was tutoring and had a bit of money to play with. i could afford to pay her for 2 sessions. now i'm not tutoring and simply don't have the money to pay her what in effect is one weeks rent.
yeah, i should have saved. but compulsive spending is one of my problems...
i'm not sure what to do. i should try and explain myself a bit more.
p-doc would just foward the bill to the funding committee. i dunno if they would pay for it or not.
probably not.
but i can't. there isn't really a way around that.
on the upside i'll be leaving this stupid country soonish anyrate.
Posted by Tamar on July 5, 2005, at 18:39:07
In reply to Re: payment due??? » Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 18:24:44
> sh*t.
>
> ok... have been thinking... if you go to see a movie and you don't enjoy it then you still have to pay. i get that.But if you go to a restaurant and the food isn't what you expected then they should offer you an alternative (e.g. if you asked for a rare steak and they serve it well done). Or if you buy a piece of electrical equipment that doesn't do what the seller says it will do, you should get your money back.
> back then i was tutoring and had a bit of money to play with. i could afford to pay her for 2 sessions. now i'm not tutoring and simply don't have the money to pay her what in effect is one weeks rent.
>
> yeah, i should have saved. but compulsive spending is one of my problems...Ah yes! I am familiar with this problem!
> i'm not sure what to do. i should try and explain myself a bit more.
>
> p-doc would just foward the bill to the funding committee. i dunno if they would pay for it or not.That might buy you some time at least...
> probably not.
>
> but i can't. there isn't really a way around that.
>
> on the upside i'll be leaving this stupid country soonish anyrate.I think you might have a case if you could argue that she shouldn't have spoken to your pdoc. If she spoke to your pdoc without asking your permission first, for example (sorry, I can't remember how it all happened). It might depend on NZ confidentiality regulations. My T asked me in my first session if he could speak to my other doctors about me. But he wouldn't have spoken to them without my permission.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 18:57:15
In reply to Re: payment due???, posted by Tamar on July 5, 2005, at 18:39:07
i'm not too worried about the payment to tell you the truth. ok yeah so i have a bit of a bad attitude about things like that sometimes... the worst she can do is foward the bill to baycorp (a debt collection agency). they won't agressively persue the bill because it is for such a small amount. i have had dealings with them before for a rather larger amount. my debt should be clear now. i've paid it back and its been 7 years since the infraction. but either way when you move countries your credit rating is in the clear again.
i'm just a bit worried about the fairness of it all. should i pay? do i owe her that much? i dunno...
i have to say that the session seemed really very focused on her getting money to see me. most of it was with her on the phone to acc. she seemed a bit pissed off once she realised that acc wouldn't even pay for my being with her right then.
i'm of half a mind to say... that she wasn't focused on me. she was focused on obtaining money. the consequence of her being so focused on money is that she doesn't get any. if she had focused on me instead then i would have paid her. oh the irony. i like that. tell her to 'pay it foward' and bear that in mind the next time a client comes to see her.
but i'm mad. clearly. in more ways than one...
i dunno.
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2005, at 19:44:59
In reply to Re: payment due??? » Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 18:57:15
I think I agree. If she spent the entire time to arrange funding, then it was more of a pre-session.
Not that that matters legally, but I think it matters morally.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 20:08:45
In reply to Re: payment due??? » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2005, at 19:44:59
I don't care about the legal aspect - I'm worried about the moral aspect. I have never paid for therapy before so I don't really know how it is supposed to go.
> If she spent the entire time to arrange funding, then it was more of a pre-session.
Funding - yes. Then she gave me the dissociative experiences scale to fill in while she was on hold. I filled it in. She made a comment or two about it. And said that was it. That it was pointless to get into anything till we knew about the funding.
It did seem to be a pre-session. It wasn't focused on me at all. She didn't ask me anything about what I wanted to get out of therapy even. Didn't ask me why I had made the appoitment. Didn't ask me what I wanted to talk about. Didn't ask me how I was feeling about meeting. She didn't ask me sh*t except about being sexually abused.
She asked if any of the others wanted to say anything.
I think thats what really got to me and I left at that point. She didn't seem to give a sh*t whether I had anything to say or not - but seemed half-heartedly interested that they might have something to say.
Thanks.
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2005, at 20:29:13
In reply to Re: payment due??? » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 20:08:45
I think that would be a deal breaker right there. I would think it would not be therapeutic to ask you to perform like that.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 21:46:38
In reply to Re: payment due??? » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2005, at 20:29:13
> I think that would be a deal breaker right there. I would think it would not be therapeutic to ask you to perform like that.
Thank you. Oh, thank you. (((Dinah)))
Yes. Thats how it felt. I wasn't sure though, because I can be a little touchy about that. Like the registrars when I was in hospital. Looking at me with outright curiosity. Almost gaping. I felt like a freak. And yeah, thats how it felt. I talked to her on the phone before that too and she asked the same question. Actually she said she wanted to talk to someone who was more in control. I said 'no'. She asked again 'No'. Again 'NO'. She didn't like me. She was hoping for someone else :-(
Posted by 10derHeart on July 5, 2005, at 22:53:41
In reply to Re: payment due??? » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 21:46:38
You know, Alex, now you've given a bit more detail here...I can picture that meeting a lot better.
And I think she was WAY out of line.
To say the least.
Really, far, far, out.
Callous. Selfish. Utterly without empathy.
You are not a $@%#*) circus animal!
And on the phone, too?!!
What the h*ll was that cr*p?!
I don't like her ways and demeanor.
No, not one bit.
I never tell people this, but, in this case...
She ought to take her charges and shove them far
Far up where.....well, you know.
Send the issue of payment to p-doc.
Let her wait and sweat over her stupid $$.
She is acting immorally (and she's greedy!) to even have charged you - on the phone, treating you like a "specimen" or something, and then....oh just grrrrrrr!!!
She didn't do this even close to right and I think
She just s*cks!!
I do realize you've gone through so MUCH
And need a competent T. badly - but oh, no, not someone who could act like that - even once.
Because I'm doubtful she would have gotten better.
((Alex))
Posted by Poet on July 5, 2005, at 23:05:08
In reply to Re: payment due???, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 17:20:14
Hi Alexandra,
How completely horrible. It doesn't sound to me like she tried at all to connect with you. She seems to have tried her best to alienate you and make you feel uncomfortable.
You have more control than I have, I would have ripped up the bill and sent it back with a note. I can't say what the note would read or Dr. Bob will PBC me. I'll just say it wouldn't be very polite. I treat inconsideration and rudeness with the same.
Poet
Posted by Jazzed on July 5, 2005, at 23:15:53
In reply to Re: payment due??? » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on July 5, 2005, at 23:05:08
I agree with everyone Alexandra,
She didn't have a ''session'' with you, she spent the whole time on the phone. She didn't try to get to know you, and she treated you poorly. It really sucks! What does your p-doc say?
Jazzy
Posted by alexandra_k on July 6, 2005, at 0:20:07
In reply to Re: payment due??? » Poet, posted by Jazzed on July 5, 2005, at 23:15:53
I dunno... I just woke up in hospital and didn't know who I was or where I was just knew I had to see my doc and remembered his name. It took a few days for me to remember who I was and stuff. It took a couple weeks before I started to remember the appoitment. Still can't remember what happened between then and hospital. I think I slept for about 4 days before the appoitment too. Was really stressed out about it. Felt like I was cracking up. Really distressed. Lots of internal screaming and stuff. Just slept for days. I wasn't going to go 'cause I felt so tired but thought it was probably an avoidance strategy so managed to drag myself there.
But I shouldn't have gone.
It didn't do me any good.Its ok.
I'm alright.
I don't have this sh*t with my present t.
Actually... The more I think about this crap, the more I appreciate her :-)
Posted by Damos on July 6, 2005, at 0:41:03
In reply to Re: payment due???, posted by alexandra_k on July 6, 2005, at 0:20:07
Hey Alex,
Just seen this and can't a) believe it b) add much to the comments people have already made. I think 10der most eloquently summed up my thoughts. You know where to find me if there's anything I can do to help make this go away.
(((((Alex)))))
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 6, 2005, at 12:21:34
In reply to payment due???, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2005, at 17:14:14
I can't really add anything to this, mostly b/c everyone's said everything I could and also b/c I can't believe you are going through this! This is unbelievable and so unfair to you. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and here's a hug if you don't mind. (((Alexandra)))
Posted by alexandra_k on July 7, 2005, at 9:12:21
In reply to Re: payment due??? » alexandra_k, posted by GreySkyEyes on July 6, 2005, at 12:21:34
thanks people. everyone. really.
you know...
for the first time...
i really think...
i don't mind that the funding was declined
i'm really determined to work with my current t now
to really appreciate what i've got
'cause i'm starting to see...
that she is pretty special.id like to say that certain things really can just be expected
but unfortunately
my experience is that they cannot be
and so i really should appreciate what i've got
and find more happiness in the moment
:-)
and i've forgotten about wassherface already
and made peace with p-doc
and i'll foward anything she sends me onto him
(for the funding committee)im officially unemployed as of today!
yay!
Yay! Oh yay!
I'm thrilled.
Not that work is sooooo verrrry bad
its just that i took on far too much
had a break down
and have been gritting my teeth saying
must get through
must get through
which sucked the enjoyment out of it rather :-(
but that is that.
and possibly...
just possibly...
i'll never have to do that again :-)
or...
even better still...
maybe one day i'll want to do it again
and actually come to enjoy it again
i feel sad that i came to see it as such a chore and a stress
i feel bad about that
but it doesn't matter it is over now
:-)
This is the end of the thread.
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