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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 17:48:06
Today during my session I as talking about how I know when my husband when is not telling the truth because he is a bad lier. Then my T said he was a very good lier. Now why would he say that? I sort of challenged him on that saying I can tell when anyone lies to me even him. He said he didn't think so because he was good at it. I brought up a vague instance where I thought he way lying. He didn't say anything but gave me a wierd look. Now I don't know what to think. Is he just screwing with my mind? Why would a T say what he did, any ideas?
Posted by messadivoce on June 29, 2005, at 17:50:15
In reply to Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 17:48:06
Yikes. I would definitely give it to him with both barrels if it were me. All this talk about T's striving for authenticity and building good relationships with their clients. If it were me I would be really mad at him. And I would tell him so. Explicitly. Especially if trusting people were and issue. Which it is with me.
Posted by pinkeye on June 29, 2005, at 17:58:55
In reply to Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 17:48:06
I think he was wrong to say that to you.. then it will make you doubt each and every one of his remarks..
Once my ex T told me that he doesn't necessarily like all his patients - that he just pretends to like people - and today I am wondering if he just did the same to me too.. even though at that time I didn't think much of it..
A T has to be careful when making remarks like that.. I think your T was careless about not thinking the implications for you on the long term.
Posted by Jazzed on June 29, 2005, at 21:29:36
In reply to Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 17:48:06
> Today during my session I as talking about how I know when my husband when is not telling the truth because he is a bad lier. Then my T said he was a very good lier. Now why would he say that? I sort of challenged him on that saying I can tell when anyone lies to me even him. He said he didn't think so because he was good at it. I brought up a vague instance where I thought he way lying. He didn't say anything but gave me a wierd look. Now I don't know what to think. Is he just screwing with my mind? Why would a T say what he did, any ideas?
Maybe originally he was talking about with his wife? Maybe he thinks he can get away with stuff with her? But, I agree, I'd call him on it, I'd tell him how it made you feel, and that you question trust with him if there's any chance he's lying to you.
Jazzy
Posted by alexandra_k on June 29, 2005, at 21:30:01
In reply to Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 17:48:06
Maybe he was kidding.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 29, 2005, at 21:30:34
In reply to Re: Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by alexandra_k on June 29, 2005, at 21:30:01
Lying even ;-)
Posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 21:46:20
In reply to Re: Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by alexandra_k on June 29, 2005, at 21:30:34
> Lying even ;-)
What you said is what I am thinking. I didn't take it personally, I actually felt he was challenging me since I said I can read people. I am going to ask him about it! I didn't feel threatened by it. I want him to prove it!
He is so annoying in a very pleasent way. I think he likes getting under my skin. I think he gets great joy in it! lol Becaue he KNOWS I will think about it later.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 29, 2005, at 22:16:17
In reply to Re: Why would a T say he is a good lier? » alexandra_k, posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 21:46:20
> I actually felt he was challenging me since I said I can read people.
Yeah. I think he might have been in a playful mood. But there could have been something serious about it too.
>I am going to ask him about it!
Yes, please do. I'd be interested to hear what he has to say.
> He is so annoying in a very pleasent way. I think he likes getting under my skin. I think he gets great joy in it! lol Becaue he KNOWS I will think about it later.He!
Posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 14:26:58
In reply to Why would a T say he is a good lier?, posted by happyflower on June 29, 2005, at 17:48:06
yup, I did call, I hate to call, but I was getting really mad about this. I had other issues too about our session yesterday like why did he bring up the subject of termination when it seems like we are in the middle of things.
Well I asked him about why he said he was such a good lier. Well he told me he has to tell white lies a lot to protect privacy of his clients, but he would not try to deceive any of his clients. He told me he is a good lier but that it doesn't mean he lies all the time. He said I should know by now that I can trust him. I still feel like my trust is shaken a little since trusting is so hard for me anyways. But he was trying to say that my husband could be lying to me even if I think he isn't. So I guess I am not sure what to think now, I guess I am going to take a nap, because I don't feel like thinking about this anymore.
Posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 16:38:08
In reply to Called my T today to pick this bone!, posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 14:26:58
If I were you, I would save the phone sessions to more dire needs like emergencies and really feeling low kind of thing!! :-)
I am not sure if your T encourages it, but I haven't called my T even once in the past nearly 10 months, and I don't think she encourages it. I have called my ex T about 10 times in a span of 2 and a half years, but I never called after hours, and almost always sent an email before hand that I wanted to talk.
Posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 17:27:59
In reply to Don't exhaust your phone sessions » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 16:38:08
> If I were you, I would save the phone sessions to more dire needs like emergencies and really feeling low kind of thing!! :-)
My T says he doesn't mind me calling during business hours, if he can, he will return my call when he get a free moment. I do not call his emergency line for after hours. But leaving a message at his office is okay as long as I know that he can't always call me back right away. I wouldn't say he encourages it, but he said if I need him, that is his job to help, not just during the 50 min. I have one on one with him. I have only called him 3 times in the last 6 months.
But maybe thats why I pay him big bucks because he goes over and beyond for his patients.
Posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 17:28:34
In reply to Don't exhaust your phone sessions » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 16:38:08
Posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 17:39:25
In reply to Re: Don't exhaust your phone sessions, posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 17:27:59
okie dokie. If he is fine, then I don't see a problem.
Maybe I was just tring to be the goody goody patient with my ex T. Really, seeing how much all your Ts allow you to depend on, I am thinking why my ex T never allowed me all these luxuries. Only luxury I had was to email.. and that also I never got a response most of the times.. I will get one brief response 1 month down the line and even I would have forgotten what I wrote or figured it out already. But of course I never paid him, so as it was he was extending himself beyond everything to help me..
Posted by Jazzed on June 30, 2005, at 20:45:03
In reply to Called my T today to pick this bone!, posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 14:26:58
> yup, I did call, I hate to call, but I was getting really mad about this. I had other issues too about our session yesterday like why did he bring up the subject of termination when it seems like we are in the middle of things.
> Well I asked him about why he said he was such a good lier. Well he told me he has to tell white lies a lot to protect privacy of his clients, but he would not try to deceive any of his clients. He told me he is a good lier but that it doesn't mean he lies all the time. He said I should know by now that I can trust him. I still feel like my trust is shaken a little since trusting is so hard for me anyways. But he was trying to say that my husband could be lying to me even if I think he isn't. So I guess I am not sure what to think now, I guess I am going to take a nap, because I don't feel like thinking about this anymore.I'm really glad that he got back with you, and had pretty good explanations for what he said, although he probably shouldn't have said them at all in the first place. I guess it gives you more to work out with him.
(((hugs)))
Jazzy
Posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:57:41
In reply to Re: Don't exhaust your phone sessions » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 17:39:25
The more I read your stuff and I admit I don't read most threads I stick to just really few, the more it feels like you and your therapist were having a very un-traditional therapeutic relationship. I'd be really very curious to know what his e-mails contained. Really. Have you saved them, pinkeye?
Posted by pinkeye on July 1, 2005, at 13:28:26
In reply to Re: Don't exhaust your phone sessions » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:57:41
Yes it was a very very un traditional approach - quite different from anything done in India or the US..
I do have some of the emails.. the ones that I like. but I am not willing to share them here.. somehow it doesn't seem too ethical to do that, for me to share what he wrote here. I can share what I wrote after termination, but not before.
Posted by pinkeye on July 1, 2005, at 13:30:29
In reply to Re: Don't exhaust your phone sessions » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:57:41
For your curiosity though - usually there was nothing much.. Generaly support, hang in there, I am sorry you are feeling bad kind of thing. not in depth therapy. For that matter, even when I met him face to face, it was more like a life coaching rather than therapy.. It was more about what "I could do" rather than how to change what "I feel"
So he was more of a life coach kind of person.. And that is what they have done in India.
Posted by happyflower on July 3, 2005, at 22:45:48
In reply to Re: Why would a T say he is a good lier? » happyflower, posted by messadivoce on June 29, 2005, at 17:50:15
> Yikes. I would definitely give it to him with both barrels if it were me. All this talk about T's striving for authenticity and building good relationships with their clients. If it were me I would be really mad at him. And I would tell him so. Explicitly. Especially if trusting people were and issue. Which it is with me.
Well I think I gave him both barrels! lol Now I sulking all weekend hoping he will take me back after I quit therapy on him. But he IS wrong on what he did.
Posted by Susan47 on July 4, 2005, at 19:41:42
In reply to Re: Why would a T say he is a good lier? » messadivoce, posted by happyflower on July 3, 2005, at 22:45:48
Have you heard from him yet?
Posted by happyflower on July 4, 2005, at 22:15:04
In reply to Happyflower?, posted by Susan47 on July 4, 2005, at 19:41:42
No, I haven't heard from him, but I didn't ask him to call me back. But he should get my card tommorrow sometime. I hope he gets his mail early so I can put my mind to ease.
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