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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:39:33
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by LadyBug on June 20, 2005, at 15:06:46
LOL LadyBug, I could relate to everything you said! :)
Posted by Tamar on June 20, 2005, at 16:34:21
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:35:27
> Does anyone here think how they dress affects how they talk (especially if you are like me and have trouble talking and opening up)? I think I dress professionally for T so I can be "the professional" (me) and feel more equal. I honestly think that if I allowed myself to dress more casual and comfortable, it would be easier to talk. I guess that's why I don't. Anyone else?Yes! Definitely! I have to get into character for certain things, and that includes therapy! In my case I didn't want to feel too comfortable because I was afraid I'd say something totally inappropriate (I never felt very comfortable with that erotic transference thing)... I just didn't trust myself to behave properly!
Posted by Jazzed on June 20, 2005, at 16:36:02
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
When I go to the p-doc, and now T, I like to make sure I smell good - freshly showered, but not neccessarily wear perfume. Maybe lotion or something. I want my make-up to look good - mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick, and my hair to be clean. I dress in jeans, gymers, and a t-shirt because it wouldn't be me to do otherwise, BUT I try to my jeans that don't make me look as fat. I don't dress up because I read about that somewhere, and would be self conscious if I did. I get self conscious very easily, and then what's the point?
Jazzy
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 19:47:14
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
Or shorts.
And I make sure my hair has been washed no longer than the day before the day before my appt.
Other than that, no.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on June 20, 2005, at 19:56:58
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
Yep! Typically, I make sure I have on makeup and clothes that are "slimming." I'm almost 100% sure that this is b/c my mom is always critical about my appearance.
I also often wear clothes that I think she would wear--scarves, big jewelry. I want to show that I can be like her--all grown up and together, or something.
One exception is that on days when I feel really hopelessly depressed (more so than usual) I don't wear makeup, wear sloppier clothes, and wear glasses rather than contacts. It's almost like I want to show her how bad I feel.
Great thread!
EE
Posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 11:55:49
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
This is a great topic Happyflower. I love it that we all have different takes on it.
I usually have to go in work clothes (and all my work clothes are black pants and sweaters) so not much variety there.
Sometimes though, if I can skip work in the morning, I wear this old pair of sort of greyish greenish jeans, almost like army pants. I don't know what I like about them (my husband hates them) but I love them and call them my "power pants". Maybe because I feel sort of tom boyish in them.
Anyway, now I'm off to therapy and I wish I had them on.
Posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 12:04:23
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 11:55:49
>>>
> Anyway, now I'm off to therapy and I wish I had them on.
>
>
Good luck today at your appointment! Maybe you should store your power pants in your car and change before you get there!
Posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 15:14:13
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » cricket, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 12:04:23
> >
> Good luck today at your appointment! Maybe you should store your power pants in your car and change before you get there!
>
LOL! Good idea.
Posted by messadivoce on June 21, 2005, at 19:14:13
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 15:14:13
Good question. When I had therapy with my male T, I always chose my best, most slimming outfit and made sure every hair was in place. It WAS like a date. Only worse.
But there was one week when I was sick and had a fever, but since I couldn't skip any of my classes that day, I decided to just do everything, including therapy. I really didn't look that good from a clothing or makeup standpoint. As soon as I went in there and sat down, he looked at me and said, "You look terrible." Thanks so much.... And then he said, "Are you sure you can do this today?" When I said yes we went on to have one of the most emotionally wrenching sessions ever.
Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 8:52:12
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by messadivoce on June 21, 2005, at 19:14:13
>
> But there was one week when I was sick and had a fever, but since I couldn't skip any of my classes that day, I decided to just do everything, including therapy. I really didn't look that good from a clothing or makeup standpoint. As soon as I went in there and sat down, he looked at me and said, "You look terrible." Thanks so much.... And then he said, "Are you sure you can do this today?" When I said yes we went on to have one of the most emotionally wrenching sessions ever.Maybe we should dress how we're feeling, instead of dressing to impress! Sounds like it was beneficial, but difficult.
Jazzy
>
>
Posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » messadivoce, posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 8:52:12
Brilliant, Jazz!
Sad? Blue clothes.
Rattled? lots of beads and bangles.
Dull? Faded blue jeans, faded shirt, tarnished silver.
Tense? Tight clothes.
Angry? Bright red, and boots, sw*shy (now, that's really strange. The auto-censor put an asterix where the "i" should be in that word. I can't imagine how sw*shy could be interpreted as a bad word...) skirt. Heavy jewellery that clanks.
Suicidal? Chokers. Crisply ironed clothes, a razor crease in the slacks. Black clothes, lots of black eye makeup - real gothic.
Avoidant? Sunglasses. Big sunglasses. Baggy clothes, lots of layers.
Regressed? Pig tails, bubble gum, knee socks. Pink.
Dissociated? Hm. That would necessitate wearing anything BUT what you might be feeling... that's a hard one.
Projecting? Wear just what your T wears.
Transference? Just mimic his body language. No special clothing required.
Heartbroken? Long strands of beads, long earrings, a long skirt, a long top, little flat shoes that need resoling.
Needy? No makeup, ever so slightly frayed collar and cuffs.
The possibilities are endless.
:-)
ShortE
Posted by cricket on June 22, 2005, at 12:44:15
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2005, at 13:47:54
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
My family are staring at me asking me what's going on as I guffaw loudly, with tears streaming down my face!
I particularly liked Regressed...
I'd better run before my husband gets all sw*shy.
Tamar
Posted by Dinah on June 22, 2005, at 16:27:43
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
Hmmm...
My every day attire is pink, with knee socks. And I often wear my hair in pigtails. No bubblegum though.
:)
Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:38:27
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
Wow shortE, you gave that a lot of thought! You're much more creative than I am. I was just thinkin' depressed - unkempt! Anxious lots of things to play with, like bracelets? That would say it all! When I was shy, I used to wear my hair in my face, like I could hide behind it or something.
Jazzy
Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:40:37
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on June 22, 2005, at 16:27:43
> Hmmm...
>
> My every day attire is pink, with knee socks. And I often wear my hair in pigtails. No bubblegum though.
>
> :)Hmmmm..... that IS coincidental Dinah! I did love the clothing for regressed. Well, I loved them all.
Jazzy
Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 2:44:53
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:40:37
I try and go with comfortable.
But 'comfortable' is hard to do...
It usually mean that most things get thrown around the room because nothing 'feels right'.Sometimes I just feel comfortable. My clothes seem to fit okay and I feel alright. Sometimes I just feel awkward or wrong somehow. And so I try something else on and hope I find something that feels sort of okay.
So... My moods decide I guess.
Posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 13:12:02
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 2:44:53
Great question. I have two sessions a week at night (one meeting at 8:30pm, one at 9:00pm), so usually I get home from work the first thing I want to do is change into my jeans.
My weight totally dictates what I wear to therapy. (And of course, we work on weight issues constantly in the room...) When I'm at a lower weight, the outfit might be jeans and a closer-fitting top/sweater/whatever. If I feel fat and blah, it'll be jeans and a sweatshirt.
Sometimes I feel I should dress nicer, since my T. always looks sharp...like he's dressing up for me and I'm not for him. He never, ever makes comments about my appearance, though. He once said, "I'm no fashion plate..." and I interrupted him and said, "I beg to differ." That was kind of funny.
Amazing what a 20-pound swing will do for your confidence, clothes style, etc. Of course, we all know this, right?
Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 17:25:49
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 13:12:02
Yeah. I think there is a lot to that. I guess when I can't seem to feel comfortable its probably cause I'm bloated (I've just realised in the last little while just how much my cycle affects my moods)
Posted by 10derHeart on June 24, 2005, at 18:08:41
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 13:12:02
> Amazing what a 20-pound swing will do for your confidence, clothes style, etc. Of course, we all know this, right?Yeah. Unfortunately, I know this with other numbers of pounds as well. 20, 30, 40, 50...and...oh, never mind. :-(
And does it qualify as a *swing* if it's only gone in one direction so far?
<sigh> This topic (very difficult for me to face), has come up every day for 4 days in my life this week. yuk. yuk. bleck.
Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:09:51
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » spalding, posted by 10derHeart on June 24, 2005, at 18:08:41
> Yeah. Unfortunately, I know this with other numbers of pounds as well. 20, 30, 40, 50...and...oh, never mind. :-(
>
> And does it qualify as a *swing* if it's only gone in one direction so far?
>
> <sigh> This topic (very difficult for me to face), has come up every day for 4 days in my life this week. yuk. yuk. bleck.
>
I'm so sorry Spaulding, I know how really hard this is. Are the meds contributing to it? I'm so afraid of meds because of that. I have been seriously overweight, and it was partially meds, partially depression. Can't make you feel any better to have to revisit it so often.thinking of you (((HUGS)))
Jazzy
Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:13:33
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:09:51
I'm sorry Tamar, I thought that last post was from Spaulding. Weight is such a painful issue. I wish there weren't so much variation, and that there were better ways of helping ppl with it.
My GP is waiting for a drug to come out, it's called Rimonabant. It's in stage 3 clinical trials, and so far no bad side effects. Let's keep our fingers crossed for that one!
(((((Hugs))))))
Jazzy
Posted by 10derHeart on June 25, 2005, at 11:56:20
In reply to Re: Oh sorry Tamar » Jazzed, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:13:33
Hey Jazzy,
good thing this isn't baseball...but actually, you only struck out twice...wasn't spalding, wasn't Tamar...was ME - 10der - who wrote all the whiny, dramatic weight stuff. (all true...but still sounds like I'm wallowing...)
Well...at least we know you're paying attention...<grin>
Seriously, spalding's post was timed at a moment where a relative (she's over 80 and not well) had said blunt things abut me and a cousin (her own daughter) about being thin years ago, and now, "what happened?!" Stuff like that. My relatves can be really direct - it's their way and they are good people, just not much in tune with sensitivity to feelings or anything.
Anyway, that was kind of funny, in a way (my sense of humor may be weird today)how you wrote nice stuff..to the wrong people. Doesn't make it any less nice, you know!
Yeah for us all being human! Yeah for ADD that makes us quick, impulsive and occasionally messed up! Means we're unique! Yeah!
-- 10der (still fat but choosing to ignore all bad feelings about it today!)
Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 20:45:45
In reply to Re: Oh sorry Tamar » Jazzed, posted by 10derHeart on June 25, 2005, at 11:56:20
> Hey Jazzy,
>
> good thing this isn't baseball...but actually, you only struck out twice...wasn't spalding, wasn't Tamar...was ME - 10der - who wrote all the whiny, dramatic weight stuff. (all true...but still sounds like I'm wallowing...)Oh sh*t 10der, I'm sorry! Geeze, you'd think I could read a fri**in" post! Wallow away baby, I know just what you're talking about! AND I feel for ya.
> Seriously, spalding's post was timed at a moment where a relative (she's over 80 and not well) had said blunt things abut me and a cousin (her own daughter) about being thin years ago, and now, "what happened?!" Stuff like that. My relatves can be really direct - it's their way and they are good people, just not much in tune with sensitivity to feelings or anything.
>
Woah! No, I would NOT appreciate that either, too harsh, too direct, too painful. I'd feel like slappin' 'em upside the head. BUT of course ya can't do that to ppl can you? Maybe something like, gosh, and WHEN in the H*ll did you get so freak** old?! Just kidding!>
> Yeah for us all being human! Yeah for ADD that makes us quick, impulsive and occasionally messed up! Means we're unique! Yeah!Yep, my ADD has me as verbally impulsive as they come sometimes. Unique, yeah, I like that! Wish I were quicker on my feet with the thinking part.
>
> -- 10der (still fat but choosing to ignore all bad feelings about it today!)Ya know, I've fought it for years, and I'm still fat. I exercise my a** off and I'm still fat. I keep at 1,800 cal. a day, while swimming 40 laps in 30 min, biking 10 miles in less than an hour, and walking 5 miles every day, and guess what? I"m still fat! What ya gonna do?! Not a darn thing more.
Jazzy
Posted by Blossom on June 30, 2005, at 22:15:37
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
I didn't used to wear any makeup or anything special, but he would always tell me I looked tired and pale (I was being treated for an eating disorder). So after a while of that, I decided that I would never go in to see him without makeup on.
Well, I was pretty good about always wearing makeup, and then one day I rode my bicycle to his office, so I wasn't wearing any, and do you know what his first words were to me?
"Are those bug bites or zits on your face?"
Hello? Do you ever ask a woman that question? I figured he must be awfully comfortable with me.
Blossom
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