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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on June 21, 2005, at 20:26:37
Developing insight - I think many people have said I have insight into myself - so I was thinking how I developed it and thoguht it might help other people . The key to developing insight is honesty. Being able to be honest with oneself. I always think of my ulterior motive when I do something. And I don't take things or people at face value. I always try to look for what they really mean instead of what they say. The question to ask is "What does this person really mean?" and "what does this thing really mean?" And to ask "Why are things the way they are? - what would I ahve done differently?" And of course courage to face your feelings with honesty.. the way I think about it is, that I am fine with whatever way I feel.. anything - from cowardice to jealousy to flirtiness to getting attracted.. finally it is only a feeling. So I don't worry too much about it. But overdoing it is a problem. Also if you get misguided and start looking at bad things instead of good ulterior motives, it might also be bad.
Posted by sunny10 on June 22, 2005, at 8:24:50
In reply to developing insight, posted by pinkeye on June 21, 2005, at 20:26:37
> Developing insight - I think many people have said I have insight into myself - so I was thinking how I developed it and thoguht it might help other people . The key to developing insight is honesty. Being able to be honest with oneself. I always think of my ulterior motive when I do something. And I don't take things or people at face value. I always try to look for what they really mean instead of what they say. The question to ask is "What does this person really mean?" and "what does this thing really mean?" And to ask "Why are things the way they are? - what would I ahve done differently?" And of course courage to face your feelings with honesty.. the way I think about it is, that I am fine with whatever way I feel.. anything - from cowardice to jealousy to flirtiness to getting attracted.. finally it is only a feeling. So I don't worry too much about it. But overdoing it is a problem. Also if you get misguided and start looking at bad things instead of good ulterior motives, it might also be bad.
>>>>>>>> you are healthier than I. When I try to figure out what people mean, I am usually thwarted by my own inference and transference.
I am trying to get better (and braver) by asking people to explain what they mean if I think I might be reading it wrong. Meaning, of course, that I WANT to do this all of the time, but my fear of confrontation sets in a lot of the time and I am afraid to actually go through with it...
Some people really don't like to be questioned. Even if I've said that I'm not sure I understand. That maybe I am a little thick, et cetera. Some people think that I'm testing them in some way, when all I really want is clarification...
But you are definitely getting good at it. You've figured out a lot about yourself just in the last couple of months. You give me hope that maybe I can do that, too.
Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2005, at 14:11:30
In reply to developing insight, posted by pinkeye on June 21, 2005, at 20:26:37
> Developing insight - I think many people have said I have insight into myself - so I was thinking how I developed it and thoguht it might help other people . The key to developing insight is honesty. Being able to be honest with oneself. I always think of my ulterior motive when I do something. And I don't take things or people at face value. I always try to look for what they really mean instead of what they say. The question to ask is "What does this person really mean?" and "what does this thing really mean?" And to ask "Why are things the way they are? - what would I ahve done differently?" And of course courage to face your feelings with honesty.. the way I think about it is, that I am fine with whatever way I feel.. anything - from cowardice to jealousy to flirtiness to getting attracted.. finally it is only a feeling. So I don't worry too much about it. But overdoing it is a problem. Also if you get misguided and start looking at bad things instead of good ulterior motives, it might also be bad.
I think you're absolutely right about honesty being the key to developing insight. And also about having the courage to face the feelings that honesty will elicit. I guess that's the hardest part: finding the courage to be honest. Some of the things I found out when I started being honest were a bit scary! But yes, honesty is probably essential for moving forward.
This is the end of the thread.
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