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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 15:56:52
GG,
Since you are the T around here, I have a question for you.Do you know if people can completely heal and become happy if they are once messed up a lot?
Do you know anyone who has had lots of issues and been able to recover from all of it and developed a happy and cheerful and positive attitude in life?
Or is it once messed up - always damaged kind of thing?
Pinkeye
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 20, 2005, at 16:43:56
In reply to Question for GG, posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 15:56:52
Pinkeye I know you are asking gg but if you turn your babblemail on i will tell you a positive story. there really is hope! Im not much help here becasue Im so vague but I do know of a happy true story.
Posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 17:07:55
In reply to Re: Question for GG, posted by rainbowbrite on May 20, 2005, at 16:43:56
thanks rainbowwrite. I don't have babble mail.. I don't know how to turn it on wiht my current id and password, since it doesn't let me change it.
I had pinkeye_babble@yahoo.com, but I think I don't remember the password also. I will try to see if I can find out a way or set up a new account. Or if you can share here, that would be great as well.
Thanks
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 20, 2005, at 17:30:26
In reply to Re: Question for GG » rainbowbrite, posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 17:07:55
sorry, Im still not all that comfortable with the internet and opening up. but trust me, I believe there is hope to feel better and be better in almost everyone. people can have full circle turnarounds. I really really do believe that! Its about following your heart and being true to yourself I think.
But im happy to email you what I was going to say if or when you get an email address or babblemail going. the gist of what i am trying to say is above, Ill just give you a wordier, very detailed version in an email :-)
Posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 17:36:33
In reply to Re: Question for GG » pinkeye, posted by rainbowbrite on May 20, 2005, at 17:30:26
send me an email to pinkeye_babble@yahoo.com. I just confirmed that I do remember the password for it.
Thanks a lot.
Pinkeye
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 20, 2005, at 18:36:11
In reply to Re: Question for GG » rainbowbrite, posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 17:36:33
ok you should have it now.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 21, 2005, at 12:46:44
In reply to Question for GG, posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 15:56:52
Hi pinkeye,
That's a very good question. But first, let me just remind folks for my own sake...I'm a T in training. Not a T yet. (Just a little cautious about that).Can people heal completely? I think they can, but it also depends on what you mean by "heal". There are still going to be bad things that happen in life, unfortunately. There will still be stressful days and people who dont' understand us or who hurt us. That's the bad news.
But the good news is, you can learn to love yourself for exactly who you are. That's my definition of healing. For me, that includes loving myself "warts and all." So the "warts" don't go away, but the rest of me gets bigger so that the "warts" don't get so much emphasis. The issues we have that cause us hurt or lead to problematic behavior become less intense and much less of a problem, and the rest of us, that is balanced, free, and authentic, becomes a much larger focus. We kind of expand.
I know that is kind of a vague concept, but since we are all so different, it's hard to be more specific.
And I know that for me, there will be times when I catch myself in old ways of thinking or old behavior. But the best part is, I can catch myself now. I don't get knocked down so hard that it's difficult to get up and brush myself off. Instead, it's just a little knock and a little dusting, and you just go on.
That's my goal, anyway. I'd be interested in what others think, too.
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on May 22, 2005, at 6:34:11
In reply to Re: Question for GG....anyone else, too? » pinkeye, posted by gardenergirl on May 21, 2005, at 12:46:44
I think that a large part of the healing process comes in accepting ourselves - that we don't have to go through the therapy process in order to change, necessarily, but also to come to a better understanding of how and why we react and act the way we do throughout our lives.
And accepting myself as I am instead of feeling
guilty
shameful
resentful
ugly
fat
a failure
permanently damaged
...is a big part of my personal goals in therapy.
Or, as Popeye says, "I yam what I yam!"
Posted by gardenergirl on May 22, 2005, at 13:56:53
In reply to Re: Question for GG....anyone else, too? » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on May 22, 2005, at 6:34:11
I like yams. So that must mean I like you too! :)
gg
Posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 17:44:41
In reply to Re: Question for GG....anyone else, too? » pinkeye, posted by gardenergirl on May 21, 2005, at 12:46:44
Yeah.. I wish I could be happy. That is what I want.
Somehow I have been programmed from childhood to hurt more and experience more pain. ANd I think I have come to look for pain even when situtaions are not that bad. I wish I could reverse my brain circuit little bit.
Thanks GG.
Posted by Annierose on May 22, 2005, at 18:11:59
In reply to Re: Question for GG....anyone else, too? » gardenergirl, posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 17:44:41
Pinkeye-
I think that is what a major function of the therapy process is supposed to address. You are in a room with another person, you share intimate details about yourself, and how the T reacts and handles the information is probably different then the expectations you hold. Your T isn't critical, in fact, he/she is very accepting of all of you ... even the parts we find hard to accept about ourselves. And through that interaction, we learn new (and hopefully more positive) interactions ... how we are supposed to be treated. And through time, re-wire our circuits!!
For me, it's constant practice in holding the bar up to a higher level of expectations. It's easier for me to say to a friend, or my husband, "my feelings were hurt when you said x.y and z." Beforehand, I would stay silent (well, not always).
When you asked, can someone ever be cured? I think everyone and I do mean everyone has problems that they face. And everyone has a different set of coping mechanisms in place to handle their daily strife. Some are more productive than others. Others, like some of us on babble, are seeking help to handle our inner turmoil. I guess what I am trying to say, no one lives a perfect life. Don't go after perfection. It doesn't exist. For me, therapy is about learning not to take life so personally. I'm trying to understand why I feel so strongly about some relationships, and in sheading some light, diminishing its effects on me. And a heap of other goals.
Posted by JenStar on May 22, 2005, at 20:15:39
In reply to Question for GG, posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 15:56:52
I know the question is for GG, but it's so interesting I can't help but contribute too!
I think that once we're damaged, we're always going to be damaged. But I also believe that we can minimize the damage and learn to love ourselves for our positive traits, and learn to accentuate those. Our world is full of stress and pain, and even the most intuitive people have difficulty eliminating stress. But we can learn to minimize it through therapy, medications (for some people), and other techniques.
I picture it like breaking a bone - once it's broken, it's always going to have a scar. But it can heal over and be strong and firm once again. We should be gentle to ourselves and try to think positively about making ourselves as strong and firm as possible despite our breaks and fractures.
Naturally it's easy to lecture and not so easy for me to actually DO this. But I think it's possible to improve!
JenStar
Posted by pinkeye on May 23, 2005, at 13:01:51
In reply to Re: Question for GG » pinkeye, posted by JenStar on May 22, 2005, at 20:15:39
I have the same feeling too. Once broken always broken. But possible to minimize the effects.
But nowadays, I am really losing hope on how good I can ever be. I am not a happy person basically.
Posted by pinkeye on May 23, 2005, at 13:19:47
In reply to Re: Question for GG....anyone else, too? » pinkeye, posted by Annierose on May 22, 2005, at 18:11:59
Thanks AnnieRose.
I am not going after perfection - atleast not at this moment. I just want to be little happy and peaceful. That even seems very hard nowadays.
This is the end of the thread.
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