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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on April 22, 2005, at 20:19:54
I think after reading this board for a long time and participating in it and venting out my own transference, I have completely beaten my transference to death.. and I am completely over it.
If anybody has transference towards their therapist or all the love feelings and hurt over the fact that they don't care etc, a good place to heal yourself is babble archives.. Just read every single thread about people hurting over their Ts not loving them back, and you get the idea sunk in totally into yourself. Even when a person dies, if we talk about it for days, we get over the person.. I think something like that happened to me.
Posted by Dinah on April 22, 2005, at 20:42:15
In reply to Transference Beaten To Death, posted by pinkeye on April 22, 2005, at 20:19:54
I get over stuff the same way. I talk them to DEATH. It drives my husband nuts. Or did. I guess that's why we have a therapist on the payroll.
I understand intellectually the people who feel that this board makes them feel worse by concentrating more on something when otherwise they could distract themselves from it, I guess.
But that is so out of my abilities, that I can't grasp it deep down. I never let go of anything that grabs my interest until I've chewed it down to it's most minute particle and analyzed each molecule. Just my nature I guess.
Posted by pinkeye on April 22, 2005, at 20:52:55
In reply to Re: Transference Beaten To Death » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on April 22, 2005, at 20:42:15
Yeah for many of us, just beating the issue to death by talking over and over again is what seems to help. I believe CBT believes in the opposite.. they just say try to move on.. but it doesn't work many times. Especially for these deep emotional issues like loving, caring, how you perceive yourself etc.. for these kind of things just talking talking talking helps. And being heard again and again and again and consoled. That is why I like babble so much these days.
Once I asked my T if there was any way to quickly grow our Emotional IQ like how we can work on puzzle books to increase our logical IQ. I think reading babble really has increased my emotional handling capacity .. a whole lot. This is almost the equivalent of logical puzzles - to read what other people are going through and give help and get help.
Posted by Dinah on April 22, 2005, at 21:00:34
In reply to Re: Transference Beaten To Death » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on April 22, 2005, at 20:52:55
Talk about timing! I am concurrently talking to someone about how much I've grown in my interpersonal capabilities on Babble. Understanding those mysterious creatures called humans a bit better. Learning that I don't have to respond to things that press my buttons.
It has been a huge learning experience for me.
Posted by cricket on April 23, 2005, at 8:38:21
In reply to Transference Beaten To Death, posted by pinkeye on April 22, 2005, at 20:19:54
This is an interesting thought. Using this board to get over one's transference.
Really using this board, rather than just peeking in here and there, for the past week has shown me that this can be an incredible place for healing. You all are helping me get through what could have been a very self-destructive week.
However, for those of you who have Ts who know you participate here and what goes on here, do they approve? I'm particularly interested in knowing what the psychoanalytically inclined ones think? Don't they believe that the transference is the heart and soul of the work? (I know that's what Freud and Jung used to think.) Despite the torture it often is, do they really want their clients getting over the transference through some outside device? Or don't they really think that anymore?
Posted by Susan47 on April 23, 2005, at 13:19:26
In reply to Transference Beaten To Death, posted by pinkeye on April 22, 2005, at 20:19:54
Posted by pinkeye on April 23, 2005, at 21:37:45
In reply to Re: Transference Beaten To Death, posted by cricket on April 23, 2005, at 8:38:21
I don't know the answer to your question. I have never worked on my transference as such in depth with my therapists (ex T and current T).
But I would guess, more knowledge and support wouldn't hurt, as long as you don't keep the topic away from therapy. Ultimately you are supposed to learn the reasons why transference occurs and to understand what motivates you to feel the feels that you are having.. so if you do it partly in therapy and just use this board to supplement maybe that is the right way. Again I am not 100 % sure.
This is the end of the thread.
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