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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 10:23:14
I thought one thing I would do is to direct the conversation into any progress I might have made, and where the next ten years might be going.
I've asked him if I can bring him a cupcake and he hesitated (almost visibly going over the rule accepting regulations) then agreed. I'd rather make it a small cake with a happy anniversary on it, but I don't think I'll push it.
I thought I'd look for mother/child (or maybe nursing mother dog) images to make him a thank you card. Nothing too mushy. I'm not even sure what to say. I'm not good at putting it into words. Besides, it'll end up in my file. I suppose I could ask him to read it then take it back so it won't suffer that ignominious fate.
I don't think I'd want to give him a gift he'd feel somewhat obliged to keep. We have very different tastes.
Any other ideas?
Posted by judy1 on March 17, 2005, at 11:25:48
In reply to Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 10:23:14
first of all- congratulations! that's quite a milestone. it's a testament to both of you- your commitment to work, and his commitment to seeing you improve.
because this anniversary belongs to both of you, then my feelings are that a physical gift or card is probably inappropriate (just my opinion :-). I know that there are rules against gifts- and Lord knows I've pushed that envelope. But I really like your initial thought about going over your progress and seeing where the next 10 years are going. that acknowledges that this is a celebration for the two of you and not just his work.
hope that made sense- judy
Posted by Tamar on March 17, 2005, at 13:17:08
In reply to Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 10:23:14
A cake sounds like a very good idea, and at least he can't put it in your file! I also like your idea of talking about the next ten years.
I suspect the words you decide to put on a card, even if it ends up in your file, might be the most important thing to him. Since therapists can't accept gifts, all they can receive from us is our words of thanks, so that probably means a lot to them. I can imagine it will be a challenge to choose the right words: it's hard to be brief and articulate about something so important. At least you have time to think about what you want to say!
Tamar
Posted by pinkeye on March 17, 2005, at 13:37:01
In reply to Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 10:23:14
Maybe write him a memoir kind of thing.. Things that he said/did for you that meant a lot to you and made a difference in your happiness? I try to remember the key things that my old T said - I even wrote that down in a big email draft for my safe keeping. I always remember the thing he said "we are just ordinary people living ordinary lives" and it makes a huge difference in my life everyday. If you remember something like this that he said and can include that, I am sure he would appreciate it.
Posted by annierose on March 17, 2005, at 14:11:57
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas? » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on March 17, 2005, at 13:37:01
Dinah, Dinah, Dinah ---
What do you mean you are not good with words!! Girlfriend, you are gifted with the talent of the written word! Go for it! And try not to overthink it (but who am I kidding here ... I always re-write everything to my T at least once).The cupcake is making my tummy growl. I could use a nice treat now. He'll love it and anything else you decide to say or do.
I'm not opposed to the gift idea (I gave my T a holiday gift). Maybe a bottle of champagne, or a starbucks card w/travel mug (doesn't sound too personal of an idea, I know)
Congratulations!!
Posted by daisym on March 17, 2005, at 20:13:39
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by annierose on March 17, 2005, at 14:11:57
I'm with annie, I think you mark the occasion with something, though a cupcake is a sweet idea.
I gave my therapist a very beautiful but very masculine journal. It was empty to represent "that which he has yet to say" and I gave him a book of famous quotes to represent, "all he has said so far." He loved them both. I think this year I'm giving him a book, "using metaphors in therapy" because he loves to think of unique ones. The other idea I had was some kind of unique, "odd" rock -- since this is a mileSTONE and you like to describe yourself as odd. Nothing wrong with having a rock hanging around. Unless it is a boulder...
I like that you are thinking about this. Sounds like you feel reconnected again. :)
Daisy
Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 21:10:22
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by daisym on March 17, 2005, at 20:13:39
Believe me, I am completely inarticulate in this area. My relationship with him is still very much preverbal in many ways.
I can't think of one wise or profound thing he's ever said. In fact, I remember thinking quite frequently that I certainly don't go to him for wisdom or profundity.
I remember he once asked to keep one of my posts I brought in to him, saying that to him it represented the essence of good therapy. I think it was the fighting to relationship post. But I let him keep it, so that was already given. And I'm not positive one hundred percent it was that post.
So much of what I think of him and therapy is in images, and I've been trying to dig up appropriate images to represent it.
I also thought I'd print out the photos I took of his old office. They turned out really really well, and he's always mentioning how he loved his old office.
I love the stone idea!!! His boundaries are impressive. But I don't think he'd turn that down. And I could spend some time and effort picking one out.
So April 3 is the actual day but since that's a Sunday, I guess the session before or after.
Posted by daisym on March 18, 2005, at 0:13:52
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 21:10:22
Please make it the one after otherwise it is April 1 -- April Fool's day. That is just too, too...I don't know. Feels wrong somehow.
Just my 2 cents.
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2005, at 22:32:48
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas? » Dinah, posted by daisym on March 18, 2005, at 0:13:52
I scheduled with him for the fourth. And when he asked why I wanted to schedule so far in advance, I told him.
Why, I think my therapist mommy is a guy! He sure acted like a guy. "Oh, tenth anniversary. Ummm, yeah. Review what's happened. Sounds good. Sure, ok, cupcake. Yeah, I like chocolate."
:)
Oh well. He doesn't have much experience with tenth anniversaries for therapy. In fact, I have as much experience as he does. :D
Posted by Annierose on March 23, 2005, at 11:12:41
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas?, posted by Dinah on March 18, 2005, at 22:32:48
What did you decide to do?
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 12:37:35
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas? » Dinah, posted by Annierose on March 23, 2005, at 11:12:41
I'll tell you all after. It has too big a possibility of crashing and burning. At least I'm prepared for that possibility.
Posted by annierose on March 23, 2005, at 16:09:30
In reply to Re: Tenth anniversary in two weeks. Any ideas? » Annierose, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 12:37:35
Well, just to let you know, I think they appreciate small tokens of our gratitude ... once in awhile. I hope you go for it! He is probably looking forward to the cupcake afterall.
I'm on vacation beginning Friday, but I'll be at my mom's ... should be able to sneak on her computer and check in.
-Annierose
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