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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on February 24, 2005, at 15:26:33
What is the point of therapy? Seriously. Would somebody tell me? I'm trying to explain it to my dad. I can't afford it, it makes my dad angry with me, and my therapist is a condescending 50 year old woman who only really connects with me when I tell her I might leave. I'm in such a bad mood right now! Agh!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
In reply to What is the point?, posted by Angela2 on February 24, 2005, at 15:26:33
A good therapist can help us straighten out the tangle that we tend to make of our own thoughts. They have the distance and perspective to help us sort things out and see what is really true and what is distortions on our parts. And they can help teach us to be able to do the same thing without them being there.
They teach us coping skills to deal with emotions that seem overwhelming.
They teach us relationship skills to help us deal with the difficult people in our lives, and to help us not to be the difficult people in others' lives.
They help us see the reasons for why we do the things we do, and help us see alternatives for doing things differently.
They help us evaluate the life lessons we learned at our parents' knees and decide which ones we wish to keep and which ones we wish to discard.
And because many humans aren't likely to say "ooh, that's what it is" and change immediately, they have the patience to go over and over and over it again, in different ways and in different words. To help us struggle trying out our new strategies, and to encourage us when we're discouraged and think it would be easier to go back to our old ways.
Posted by pinkeye on February 24, 2005, at 19:55:22
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
That was pretty nicely put Dinah.
Posted by Aphrodite on February 24, 2005, at 19:57:49
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
Posted by mair on February 24, 2005, at 20:54:08
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
I'm in awe! How wonderfully stated.
Mair
Posted by Susan47 on February 25, 2005, at 1:19:57
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
I think your therapist would be thrilled to hear that too. What therapist wouldn't love to hear such accolades. That was so beautiful, Dinah. You really have a gift. You're always so appropriate. (sigh) I admire that about you. :)
Posted by 10derHeart on February 25, 2005, at 15:38:44
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
I'm going to print this and maybe show it to my T. No, definitely. (I'd remove all identifying Babble info..don't know him THAT well yet.)
Unless you mind, Dinah? If, so I won't.
But it's just so awesome.
Posted by 10derHeart on February 25, 2005, at 15:44:03
In reply to What is the point?, posted by Angela2 on February 24, 2005, at 15:26:33
Angela2,
Can't answer any better than Dinah. She said it all. But I was thinking...
That must be terribly frustrating. To have someone else in control, so to speak, due to money issues, and then on top of that awkwardness, sounds like maybe you and your T. are not doing so well together....?
If she's condescending and you rarely connect, I'm wondering what's going on there. Sorry if you've posted about it before, I don't recall. Just concerned for the stress I feel from your posts. Want to tell us more about T. and your relationship? Do you like her and feel she's helping you?
Posted by Dinah on February 25, 2005, at 15:48:53
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on February 25, 2005, at 15:38:44
I would be flattered. Thank you. :)
Posted by annierose on February 25, 2005, at 16:52:30
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
Perfect list Dinah! Loved it.
Posted by Angela2 on February 28, 2005, at 10:11:02
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by 10derHeart on February 25, 2005, at 15:44:03
I have mixed feeling towards my t. I am going to stick with her until my insurance runs out in may, then find someone cheaper. I will miss her because I have learned so much about myself with her. I can't imagine finding someone as helpful to me as her.
On the other hand she has a condescending tone when she talks. But when she talks she is also helping me. I honestly don't think she would get it if I told her that she is being this way. I think it's just the way she is.
The way my dad talks about her (he doesn't like her), it makes me not want to see her as much. Even though I think therapy is beneficial. I think it has something to do with my underlying feelings about the way she acts condescending.
I don't know what I'm going to do this week. I hate having my parents in control, but if I were in control, I might just not go anyway cuz I wouldn't have the money.
Sometimes I feel like therapy is a cult. Because I think, "I can't go on until I go to therapy." or "Nothing will be alright unless I go to therapy." And the truth of the matter is, I can wait. Maybe if I find a therapist who is as good as her, who I actually click with (unlike her), I will actually want to go and not feel bad. But right now, going to therapy makes me feel bad (because of the cost, because of how it makes my parents feel). So I'm not going to go. I think the bottom line comes to, I like my parents more than I like her.
Thank you Dinah for post. That hit a few points with me and I agree with what you said. I think it would help my self esteem if I could defend why I go to therapy to my dad.
Posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 10:30:39
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Angela2, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 19:46:12
I was just re-reading your post, Dinah. I think I'm going to print it, not sure at this point (ink is so expensive with this printer, it's unbelievable!). Your thoughts are so beautifully expressed.
My last therapist did all of that for me, it's true, by being himself. I have good feelings about him. It's nice to have those. Your post articulated the good in the relationship for me, Dinah. Thank you for posting that.
Posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 10:32:19
In reply to Re: What is the point?, posted by Angela2 on February 28, 2005, at 10:11:02
Do you have a good, close, loving, accepting relationship with your dad? Because if you don't you may not want to give his opinions much weight. If your therapist is helping you, that's all that matters. Not your dad's opinions.
Posted by Dinah on March 1, 2005, at 10:35:00
In reply to Re: What is the point? » Dinah, posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 10:30:39
Thanks Susan. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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