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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 11:45:40
Fall's post above made me think about how I have been wanting to somehow thank my analyst recently for his patience, attentiveness, optimism and caring through the past two years, when I have often felt so terribly alone and discouraged. I found myself saying to him yesterday, "it's like love- not the kind of love you have for your family- but really like love anyway". He said, very softly, so that I barely heard him, "yes, it is". Tears began running down my cheeks; then we were silent together for several moments. For once, I could give something back to him- and he accepted what I offered in such a wonderful way....like it was very valuable to him.
Posted by Aphrodite on February 12, 2005, at 12:18:00
In reply to Giving back to our therapists, posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 11:45:40
That's beautiful and wonderful and something I am sure he'll cherish. You are so right about the unique kind of love that it is. It's the kind of love our young and wounded parts have for the therapist being a safe and secure base for all of their sadness kept hidden for so long. There is nothing else like reexperincing those wounds in a loving and holding environment.
Glad you shared that.
Posted by crushedout on February 12, 2005, at 12:29:30
In reply to Giving back to our therapists, posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 11:45:40
reading stuff like this makes me miss my ex-t so much. it's a very sweet story.
Posted by Daisym on February 12, 2005, at 13:24:35
In reply to Giving back to our therapists, posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 11:45:40
I'm glad you were able to say that outloud. What a gift for both of you.
We were talking about attachment a few weeks ago and my therapist compared it to "new" love -- the kind that needs to keep checking in with the other person to make sure they are real, still there and still interested. Not romantic, he said, but deep and important. I knew exactly what he meant. I shared with him the thread about therapist liking their clients too. I said it hadn't really come up for me, not that I was completely convinced I was "likeable". He said he thinks it is just so obvious that we have a repoire that I don't need to worry about that piece - like it is the sturdy foundation that everything else is built on.
Don't you just love moments like that? But doesn't it make you sad that it has taken so many years to allow yourself a relationship like this?
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 13:40:15
In reply to Re: Giving back to our therapists, posted by Daisym on February 12, 2005, at 13:24:35
Yes, it is just so wonderful when those moments happen. I make sure I write them down in my journal so I can reread them during the really hard times, when I (young me) can become very fearful, insecure and detached. I know you've all had them, too, but I'm sorry this brings up all your feelings of loss, Crushed. I hope we'll hear in the future that you are forming this kind of attachment with your new T.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2005, at 14:27:07
In reply to Giving back to our therapists, posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 11:45:40
That's really beautiful, Pfinstegg.
I love those moments. And my therapist has gotten very good at accepting my gifts in the spirit they were intended.
Posted by namaste on February 12, 2005, at 14:42:57
In reply to Re: Giving back to our therapists, posted by Daisym on February 12, 2005, at 13:24:35
Thank you for sharing. It took me 2 years to tell my T I loved her and it was hard to do then and she answered back "great! and i suppose you want me to say how I feel? I love you too" I am may be having to deal with alot of pain but I am blessed too.
Posted by fallsfall on February 12, 2005, at 23:10:25
In reply to Giving back to our therapists, posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 11:45:40
Pfinstegg,
What a special moment. What a special relationship. I'm happy for you (and him!).
Falls.
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 23:19:37
In reply to Re: Giving back to our therapists » Pfinstegg, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2005, at 14:27:07
Thanks, Dinah! They are so wonderful when they occur, but I'd love it if it happened more often, wouldn't you? I get feeling really starved for those moments when I'm going through months of my youngest, most troubled part dominating the therapy sessions with her loneliness, desperation. and terrifying memories. My T keeps reminding me that that is the real work, and that the blissful moments are the reward. Well, I know he's right, but that doesn't make me like it!
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 12, 2005, at 23:49:19
In reply to Re: Giving back to our therapists » Pfinstegg, posted by fallsfall on February 12, 2005, at 23:10:25
Thank you, Falls! We both apparently had one of those great moments at the same time!
This is the end of the thread.
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