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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:23:20
I just had a terrible phone interaction with my new pdoc and now I hate him with all of my heart and soul. I've only seen him once so far. It was hard to convince myself to look for a pdoc because I hate seeing them so much in general. Then I did and it was a nightmare finding one I didn't hate right off the bat on the phone (or just one that would call me back for crying out loud). Then I found one I thought I liked and now he's acting like a total jerk.
I'm miserable and I feel caught in a trap. He's got me on this med, I'm having a really weird side effect, but I no longer feel comfortable talking to him because he was so mean on the phone. (Besides that, it turns out he's not available at any time I could see him, which was what precipitated our unpleasant interaction. I would not have started seeing him had I known his office hours were so restricted.)
Anyway, I don't want to start looking for another pdoc. I'd rather just steal drugs or whatever I need to do and act as my own. It seems to me that they are USELESS. They don't listen, they don't care, they're just shooting in the dark anyway. Each one of us is like an individual experiment with each new drug. Hmm, you never tried this one? OK, let's try a little bit of it and see if it kills you or makes you want to kill yourself. Then if it doesn't, we'll give you a little more. Oh, whoops, you just lost three weeks of your life to the worst depression you've ever experienced even without help? Well, you never know. Let's try another shot in the dark.
And then we have the pay them an arm and a leg for that??? And they're not even nice to us?
I can't deal. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid this drug may kill me but I'd rather die than talk to him or try to find a new one.
I told my T, "Well, if I'm still alive in a week (which is likely at least as long as it would take me to find a new one and set something up), then it's probably not going to kill me, anyway. So we can put this off indefinitely. She, unsurprisingly, wasn't happy with that plan.
Help.
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 13:47:36
In reply to Hating pdocs (rant), posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:23:20
They're no therapists, that's for sure. But with hard work and low expectations (and limited disclosure) it's generally possible to find one that isn't hate-worthy.
My current pdoc may be a complete blank slate, and I don't want to tell him anything that is sensitive at all, but he's completely not hate-worthy. He returns my calls promptly, remains calm, understands my medication reservations, and is scrupulously polite.
It took a few traumatic tries to find him though.
Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:52:54
In reply to Don't give up., posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 13:47:36
Thanks, Dinah. That sounds like wise advice.How do I go about finding a good one, though?
Posted by pretty_paints on February 4, 2005, at 14:00:33
In reply to Re: Don't give up. » Dinah, posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:52:54
Hi crushed,
I don't have any super advice I'm afraid, but I'm sure there is some out there and it will come along soon! I just wanted to say, intentional or not, your post made me laugh! The stuff about the pdoc trying stuff which kills you or makes you want to kill yourself, ha ha, so true.
I don't mean to be out of line. I mean, if you're really really low and I blob in going "ah your post made me giggle", and you'll be thinking "what? I am in strife here and that girl's just having a good old giggle!".
So im sorry if that's the case. I just thought you should know that you're a really good writer. And a funny one. And it is always good to try and keep your sense of humour. The best stories I have, looking back, are when I've been totally at the end of my thether. Although of course at the time, it is hell.
You will get there. Not all pdocs are pigs. I promise! Just hang in there. xxxx
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 14:00:59
In reply to Re: Don't give up. » Dinah, posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:52:54
Well, mine came from a recommendation my mother got from her friend.
So I suppose my advice is not to turn down any suggestions, no matter how unlikely they seem. :D
Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 14:05:29
In reply to Re: Don't give up., posted by pretty_paints on February 4, 2005, at 14:00:33
it's ok pretty paints. i think i was trying to be comical even though i'm in crisis. thanks for the compliments!
Posted by pinkeye on February 4, 2005, at 15:10:03
In reply to Hating pdocs (rant), posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:23:20
Not everyone is bad. I have met wonderful pdoc. So maybe keep trying to find someone you are comfortable with.
And regarding medicines - I think they are also somewhat helpless. Pdocs have limited power and limited medicines to chose from. They go by what works for majority. But human body is just so very complex, that what works for 90 % of the people without side effects may not work for the rest 10 %. It is a risk with medicines that doctors and patients have to live with - just as we acknowledge that when we drive in a car there is a possiblity of getting into a fatal accident - but yet we travel in it - because majority of the times we get by without getting into an accident.
You have just had couple of interactions with this guy. For all you know, maybe he is good if you get to know him deeper and give him more chance. Try to work with the doctor instead of assuming that they will cure you fully and that they will take full responsibility. Do what you can do to help yourself - finally getting cured is really in our hands - doctors can only guide a little bit.
> I just had a terrible phone interaction with my new pdoc and now I hate him with all of my heart and soul. I've only seen him once so far. It was hard to convince myself to look for a pdoc because I hate seeing them so much in general. Then I did and it was a nightmare finding one I didn't hate right off the bat on the phone (or just one that would call me back for crying out loud). Then I found one I thought I liked and now he's acting like a total jerk.
>
> I'm miserable and I feel caught in a trap. He's got me on this med, I'm having a really weird side effect, but I no longer feel comfortable talking to him because he was so mean on the phone. (Besides that, it turns out he's not available at any time I could see him, which was what precipitated our unpleasant interaction. I would not have started seeing him had I known his office hours were so restricted.)
>
> Anyway, I don't want to start looking for another pdoc. I'd rather just steal drugs or whatever I need to do and act as my own. It seems to me that they are USELESS. They don't listen, they don't care, they're just shooting in the dark anyway. Each one of us is like an individual experiment with each new drug. Hmm, you never tried this one? OK, let's try a little bit of it and see if it kills you or makes you want to kill yourself. Then if it doesn't, we'll give you a little more. Oh, whoops, you just lost three weeks of your life to the worst depression you've ever experienced even without help? Well, you never know. Let's try another shot in the dark.
>
> And then we have the pay them an arm and a leg for that??? And they're not even nice to us?
>
> I can't deal. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid this drug may kill me but I'd rather die than talk to him or try to find a new one.
>
> I told my T, "Well, if I'm still alive in a week (which is likely at least as long as it would take me to find a new one and set something up), then it's probably not going to kill me, anyway. So we can put this off indefinitely. She, unsurprisingly, wasn't happy with that plan.
>
> Help.
Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 20:43:35
In reply to Re: Don't give up. » crushedout, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 14:00:59
I think you are very wise, Dinah. I got a referral from the woman I just started dating (more about her below) and I may have an appointment for Tuesday morning. I feel much better. Thank you.
Posted by Susan47 on February 5, 2005, at 10:19:59
In reply to Re: Don't give up. » Dinah, posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 20:43:35
You said "More about her below" but there's nothing there. Do tell! Are you having fun?
Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 12:48:34
In reply to Re: Don't give up. » crushedout, posted by Susan47 on February 5, 2005, at 10:19:59
oops, i forgot! i meant to post about her. but now i can't remember what i was planning to post!yes, i'm having fun. it's very intense. more very soon, i promise.
Posted by Racer on February 5, 2005, at 14:31:32
In reply to Hating pdocs (rant), posted by crushedout on February 4, 2005, at 13:23:20
I'm gonna throw something out there to you, and you can think about whether or not it might fit:
Sometimes, when we've dealt with a lot of idiot pdocs, or abusive therapists, or just generally a ton of different types of meds that have made things worse and worse, we get so sensitized to side effects that we don't give the med a chance to show its good side. And we extrapolate those side effects to the pdoc.
I did this with Cymbalta, when I first started it. Thankfully, a couple of great friends became my rocks -- calling me every day to remind me that I was so overwrought by the year of Dr EyeCandy's shots in the darkness that I would not be able to take an aspirin without being sure it had given me an ulcer! Turned out that Cymbalta wasn't nearly as bad as I thought at first, most of the adjustment phase side effects went away, and I feel better now. That wouldn't have happened if I had followed my own judgement when I first started it.
Give the med an honest chance to show its stuff. Give the pdoc a chance to prove himself or disprove himself.
I know that's not what you want to hear right now -- it certainly wasn't what I wanted to hear when I started Cymbalta, and I screamed at some very, very special people that they were wrong and the med was poisoning me -- but please, think on it and see if some of it fits.
This is the end of the thread.
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