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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 11:35:41
Long time no see. (Although my I've been so preoccupied that I'll be very embarassed if I find out that you've just posted.)
How are you doing? Did you decide to back off a bit in therapy?
Posted by Aphrodite on February 3, 2005, at 20:03:28
In reply to Aphrodite?, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 11:35:41
>
> Did you decide to back off a bit in therapy?Did I actually say that?!?!? I'm a riot -- and funny thing is, I actually believe myself when I say things like that!
I've peeked in on the board a couple of times, but my fingers have been too busy, or sad, or weary, or all of the above to post.
Seriously, I had been doing OK with many work preoccupations that kept me functional. I finally found a warm and fuzzy pdoc who I may just ask to adopt me. The meds have really helped with sleep. I cut down the therapy and replaced it with some time for me in hobbies, self-soothing, and working on developing a spiritual practice much to the concern of my mother hen of a therapist. I thought I was coming out of the dependence.
Then whammo, after an enjoyable dinner last week with my little boy, I finally had a chance to look at the paper and I opened up to a huge headline complete with photos of one of my abusers who had been given a high position in the school district and the article was full of praise. I sunk as low as I could remember in ages.
I went running and screaming for "Mommy" and allowed myself to completely regress and take all the comfort he would give me. I was in his office twice a week and on the phone almost every day.
Now that I got through that, I am living in shameful, confused-land because although he meets all of those old unmet emotional needs, it just doesn't seem right or healthy somehow, and my rational, adult side is heavy on internal kickbacks. The instability is quite maddening. My therapist wrote a letter to me knowing I am in this state that outlines all the things I have to live for and all the things he likes/admires about both adult me and little me. He also made me a tape of personalized reassurances to listen to. He wanted me to have these things in case I needed to be connected to him but my adult side was refusing to allow connection or if I was in a really bad place and had to wait on him to return an emergency call or page. It was a nice compromise, but I still feel like a dolt.
Thanks for caring and checking on me. It means a great deal. Sorry I haven't been in much of a state to give:(
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 10:54:12
In reply to Re: Hee, hee » Dinah, posted by Aphrodite on February 3, 2005, at 20:03:28
I don't think you actually came right out and said it, but you did hint at it. And I see you did it. And it worked out ok, until a really big stressor came along.
Then your therapist stepped up to the plate and let you utilize therapy in the way you needed to at that point.
It sounds like a wonderful flexibility in the use of therapy that you should be very proud of yourself about.
I crashed after Daddy died and went to therapy every working day for the month of January. (I skipped one weekday but made up for it with a Saturday session). Now I'm down to three sessions a week for technical reasons, but two sessions would probably be ok emotionally. No need to fear getting used to those daily sessions - not only is it a hassle, but I just totalled up my January expenditures. :-O
What a truly horrible thing to be faced with. I can't imagine how that made you feel. Sometimes it seems as if there is no justice...
This is the end of the thread.
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