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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
Yes, therapy feels good right now!
I am going through some insurance changes and they destabilized things a little. We need to come up with a new plan that I can afford that pays him what he wants (and deserves). This is a challenge, and there was some conflict (he wouldn't see me 3/week if the fee he could collect dropped significantly - he would still see me 1/week).
But I knew that I wanted to keep seeing him 3/week because this seems helpful (and therefore necessary). And I knew that I would figure out some way to pay him if I couldn't get the insurance figured out (even begging to my parents). So I wasn't freaking that I would lose therapy. I guess I was scared that travelling through this problem would injure our relationship.
Things will be OK. I'll be able to afford it, and he'll get what he wants. After today, I'm sure that will work out.
But the thing that feels so good is that *both* of us really wanted it to work out. We each had our own needs, and we each were fairly adamant about our needs, but he wanted to keep me as a patient as well as I wanted to stay.
That felt good.
Posted by ghost on January 28, 2005, at 22:13:29
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 29, 2005, at 0:12:09
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
Im really happy for you :)
Posted by Poet on January 29, 2005, at 1:40:07
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
Hi Fallsfall,
I'm so glad that the economics of therapy, so to speak, got worked out favorably for everybody.
Poet
Posted by mair on January 29, 2005, at 6:01:48
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
That sounds like a situation particularly fraught with danger - if it got conflictual it could affect the way you felt about him.
The both of you did great not to let it turn into something that could undermine your relationship.
Congrats.
Mair
Posted by Angela2 on January 29, 2005, at 12:03:24
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
That's wonderful. I had a similar talk with my therapist recently and it did feel really good that I wanted to stay and she wanted me to stay too.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 14:57:26
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
I'm glad you found a way to work it out. I know it can be a source of conflict.
At one point I thought my therapist was on my insurance plan (he turned out not to be, I had the wrong provider list), and my husband was pressuring me to go through insurance. I didn't want to because of the likelihood that in order to get many sessions funded, my therapist would have to be more specific than I might like in talking to them. In fact he was pretty clear that he'd be completely honest with what he thought with them. No lowballing for the sake of privacy.
He was upset because he'd be getting only about 2/3 of what he gets from me, and couldn't charge me the extra. Since I know that most of his work *is* insurance work, that annoyed me considerably. He clearly is willing to work for that price. He just resented having to take it to work with me. And I resented having to pay almost half again of what his insurance clients were paying. Resentment all around.
I'm glad you and your therapist were able to work things out on a more amicable note. It speaks well to both of you.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 29, 2005, at 20:15:33
In reply to Re: Feeling good » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 14:57:26
I'm so glad you have this worked out. I'm sure it was an anxious time. Isn't it cool how potential problems in accessing therapy can have such a lovely silver lining to them? Without going into detail, there was something recently I had been upset about related to the cost of going to therapy with my T. His response let me know that he liked me and cared about me. That felt so good.
I love those moments!
gg
Posted by littleone on January 30, 2005, at 20:38:24
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
I'm glad therapy is going well for you at the moment falls. It's always so up and down (for me at least). It's always nice to hear about other people's good days.
Have things improved with your daughter's lateness?
Posted by fallsfall on January 31, 2005, at 13:01:23
In reply to Re: Feeling good » fallsfall, posted by littleone on January 30, 2005, at 20:38:24
Interesting that you would ask about her lateness. This is a new semester, and her classes changed a little. She now has first period free. So she has been telling me that her tardiness problems are over because she is a Junior, and doesn't have to go to school until second period now.
Her alarm went off at 7:15. At 7:20 she was still in bed. At 7:45 she was *still* in bed, and I told her it was 7:45. She had planned to leave the house at 8:00. At 8:10 she came downstairs and wanted to add croutons to the salad I was sending with her lunch ("No, you don't have time..."). So it was probably 8:13 when she left. 7 minutes to drive to where she parks, 5 minutes to walk from her car to the school, second period starts at 8:29 (I just looked up the time, she thought it started at 8:20). If she didn't stop at her locker, I suppose she might have been on time...
Posted by fallsfall on January 31, 2005, at 13:41:37
In reply to Feeling good, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 22:02:05
Thanks for your responses. It feels like it is so seldom that I have something "good" to report from therapy. I'm more likely to have "productive" or "helpful" things to report, but rarely do things feel "good"...
Today's session was a whopper. I had had a pretty good weekend. I was feeling good, had accomplished a bunch of small tasks.
But I had gotten very angry at my daughter after a "discussion" we had (I wasn't angry at the time of the discussion, just afterwards as I was telling friends about the discussion). And I was angry at a software company for their poor service. And I was confused by a friend's sudden shift on a problem she has been having. And I had a detailed dream about going somewhere with my husband (we've been separated for 5 years), and his car ending up in the shop so we couldn't get home, and me ending up slumped in a heap on the floor unable to get up to get home.
As I drove to therapy I couldn't decide which of these things to talk about. Each one seemed important, and as I thought about each one and started down each path I could tell that there was interesting stuff in all of the topics. So I told him there were 4 topics, and I gave him summaries of all 4.
As I finished the summaries he asked some questions about the dream, and what I thought it meant. As I talked, I pulled in parts of the other topics. So I wasn't just talking about one of them, I was talking about all of them at the same time. And I could tell that the things I was angry at my daughter about were things that I was angry at myself about. And what my friend was (probably) doing is something that I do myself (though I really don't like to admit it). And that my anger at the software company was also anger at myself.
He would ask me a question about something and I would answer in relation to one of the other topics - because they really all were just one topic. I said stuff even when it was embarassing to admit it. At one point I had an insight into what I really want in life and started to cry, but by the time I got to the end of the sentance I was no longer clear on what I wanted to say - I think that was an unconscious insight that couldn't stay around quite long enough for me to express it.
We jumped around a lot, and I'm sure he had trouble following what I was saying. But he let me go on, and I do think that he understood a lot of the connections.
So I'm thinking that this must have been close to free association. It wasn't the randomness that I usually think of when I think "free association", but it sure wasn't clearly and logically laid out, either! I learned a lot - an awful lot.
At the end he said something encouraging about how I was describing my feelings today (something I'm really not good at at all).
I wonder if I was "freer" with him because I was feeling confident because of last Friday's session??
Posted by littleone on January 31, 2005, at 14:38:50
In reply to Re: Feeling good » littleone, posted by fallsfall on January 31, 2005, at 13:01:23
I'm sorry falls, I just had to laugh at your post. I know it's not funny, but geez it's funny how sometimes everyone can see the patterns except the person they happen to.
Now if only *she* was able to see the pattern you might actually get somewhere.
Maybe it's one of those things that will just come in time (with some gentle prodding of course).
Posted by sunny10 on January 31, 2005, at 14:39:55
In reply to Free Association, posted by fallsfall on January 31, 2005, at 13:41:37
whatever the reason, I'm happy for you, Falls.
Posted by littleone on January 31, 2005, at 14:41:23
In reply to Free Association, posted by fallsfall on January 31, 2005, at 13:41:37
Wow, it did sound like a great session.
I remember a little while ago you posted a heap of answers that were all wrong because you didn't know the question. I still don't know what the question is, but maybe the answer is *connections*.
Posted by fallsfall on February 1, 2005, at 18:17:06
In reply to Re: Free Association » fallsfall, posted by littleone on January 31, 2005, at 14:41:23
Perhaps! Indeed.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 1, 2005, at 20:34:09
In reply to Free Association, posted by fallsfall on January 31, 2005, at 13:41:37
This reminds me of the session I had recently when nothing seemed to fit together. Although no great insights came out of that session, I do think it helped move me to a place where I did come to an important insight in one of the last sessions.
Good for you!
gg
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