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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:37:38
and talking more everyday. He's asking a ton of questions and understanding so much.
I guess I knew the time would come when he started asking me where I'm going each Saturday morning while Daddy brings him to swim class, the gym, and out for donuts. But two and a half? I've told him "shopping" so many times, he must think I live at the store. Now, when I tell him "shopping", I worry he may notice I come home with no bags.
Sometimes, my husband will tell him I'm going to the doctor. Then, N asks if I'm sick. Ugh.
Any suggestions for what I should tell him when I go to therapy?
Thanks,
Laurie
Posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 22:49:29
In reply to My son is two and a half..., posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:37:38
My son keeps his own counsel, and if he had any questions (which he surely must have) he kept them to himself.
We finally explained it as Mom goes to talk to someone about things and that helps her feel better. Fortunately his school has all sorts of resources and he just nodded and said "Like ....?", and I just said yes.
I don't know how you adjust that age related though. Can you tell him you have a friend you meet with once a week to have a good talk? He could probably relate that to a regular playdate.
Posted by Pfinstegg on January 27, 2005, at 22:57:12
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » All Done, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 22:49:29
That's a terrific idea, Dinah!
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 27, 2005, at 23:07:43
In reply to My son is two and a half..., posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:37:38
I was going to suggest just saying you have to go to work or something but I like Dinahs idea better.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 27, 2005, at 23:32:59
In reply to My son is two and a half..., posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:37:38
All Done, I personally think saying to take care of a sick friend or visit a friend at that age is a kind a good way to tell the truth yet not. You are taking care of you and you are visiting a friened of sorts
..at the age it seems much more would be too much.HUGS
> and talking more everyday. He's asking a ton of questions and understanding so much.
>
> I guess I knew the time would come when he started asking me where I'm going each Saturday morning while Daddy brings him to swim class, the gym, and out for donuts. But two and a half? I've told him "shopping" so many times, he must think I live at the store. Now, when I tell him "shopping", I worry he may notice I come home with no bags.
>
> Sometimes, my husband will tell him I'm going to the doctor. Then, N asks if I'm sick. Ugh.
>
> Any suggestions for what I should tell him when I go to therapy?
>
> Thanks,
> Laurie
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 28, 2005, at 6:39:16
In reply to My son is two and a half..., posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:37:38
I really like the idea of "meeting with a special friend." I think it is both age appropriate and truthful.
I felt I just had to post though to remind you that therapy is nothing to be ashamed of! You don't need to lie about it to the ones closest to you. You are doing something healthy to take care of yourself. Of course, sometimes you need to "alter the truth" for work and stuff where people don't (and probably shouldn't) know your business.
EE
P.S. Sounds like you have a bright little one on your hands!
Posted by 10derHeart on January 28, 2005, at 13:07:26
In reply to My son is two and a half..., posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:37:38
Hi,
You DO have a bright one there...cool! Well, my one and only is 23, so it's been a while. But, interestingly enough, almost this same thing came up with a couple from my church who've recently started thereapy together (ie, marriage counseling.) It was their 3 year-old asking. They have older kids, too, though (5 and 7), so that both complicates things, but gave us an idea when we were "brainstorming* this.
I think mom now tells him she and Dad go to see the "grown-up teacher", or "teacher for grown-ups." He gets what teachers are all about from his siblings. I think mom said he's just asked a few follow up questions, like, "what kind of school?" And mom can say it's where we learn things about being mommies and daddies, and wives and husbands (he may not quite get that one yet..) and good stuff so our family can be stronger and better. This seems to be more than enough information. Such a positive message, too, and not at all scary like when they think doctor=sick. The teacher concept is so true and seemed so natural. Think that might also work for individual therapy...? Also, I was telling my friends one time, if he ever insists adults don't go to school any more, just give him a 3-year old explanation of college...and voila!
Hope this helps. I also thought Dinah's idea was superb. You'll figure it out,I'm sure :)
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:28:57
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » All Done, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 22:49:29
>Can you tell him you have a friend you meet with once a week to have a good talk? He could probably relate that to a regular playdate.
As always, that's a great suggestion, Dinah. Thanks! I think it'll work perfectly.
Plus, there's the added bonus of being able to call my T a "friend". If only for N's benefit, of course ;).
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:35:33
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » All Done, posted by rainbowbrite on January 27, 2005, at 23:07:43
> I was going to suggest just saying you have to go to work or something but I like Dinahs idea better.
Thanks, rainbowbrite! You had a good suggestion, too, since he already understands what it means for me to leave for work and it wouldn't take any further explaination.
I appreciate your input :).
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:38:27
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » All Done, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 27, 2005, at 23:32:59
> ..at the age it seems much more would be too much.
>
> HUGSFallen,
Thanks for the hugs and I agree, I can't overload him with too much information otherwise he won't understand and just keep asking "why? Why? Why? Why?" (Can you tell what stage we're in ;)?)
Laurie
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:49:02
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half..., posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 28, 2005, at 6:39:16
> I really like the idea of "meeting with a special friend." I think it is both age appropriate and truthful.
>
> I felt I just had to post though to remind you that therapy is nothing to be ashamed of! You don't need to lie about it to the ones closest to you. You are doing something healthy to take care of yourself. Of course, sometimes you need to "alter the truth" for work and stuff where people don't (and probably shouldn't) know your business.
>
> EE
>
> P.S. Sounds like you have a bright little one on your hands!Hi, Emily Elizabeth! (Any relation to Clifford the Big Red Dog? ;))
Sorry if I gave the impression that I might feel ashamed about going to therapy. That truly isn't the case. As a matter of fact, I talk to many of my friends and family about it when they are willing to listen. The thing is, my son hasn't quite grasped the meaning of the word discreet. And while I'm willing to talk to friends and family about my therapy, I don't know that I want him telling his daycare teachers, moms of the other kids, or the cashier at the grocery store. Know what I mean?
I do appreciate your concern :). You're very sweet! Thanks for the post!
Laurie
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:50:27
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half..., posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 28, 2005, at 6:39:16
> P.S. Sounds like you have a bright little one on your hands!
Thank you!
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:57:37
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » All Done, posted by 10derHeart on January 28, 2005, at 13:07:26
> Hi,
>
> You DO have a bright one there...cool! Well, my one and only is 23, so it's been a while. But, interestingly enough, almost this same thing came up with a couple from my church who've recently started thereapy together (ie, marriage counseling.) It was their 3 year-old asking. They have older kids, too, though (5 and 7), so that both complicates things, but gave us an idea when we were "brainstorming* this.
>
> I think mom now tells him she and Dad go to see the "grown-up teacher", or "teacher for grown-ups." He gets what teachers are all about from his siblings. I think mom said he's just asked a few follow up questions, like, "what kind of school?" And mom can say it's where we learn things about being mommies and daddies, and wives and husbands (he may not quite get that one yet..) and good stuff so our family can be stronger and better. This seems to be more than enough information. Such a positive message, too, and not at all scary like when they think doctor=sick. The teacher concept is so true and seemed so natural. Think that might also work for individual therapy...? Also, I was telling my friends one time, if he ever insists adults don't go to school any more, just give him a 3-year old explanation of college...and voila!
>
> Hope this helps. I also thought Dinah's idea was superb. You'll figure it out,I'm sure :)Thank you, 10derHeart! (I like your name :).)
I imagine I will end up taking everyone's great suggestions, here, and combining them in some way. I'm guessing when I tell my son that I'm going to have a talk with a friend, he's going to ask what we're talking about. That's when your suggestion comes in handy ;)!
It's nice to have lots of input to work with.
Thanks again,
Laurie
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 29, 2005, at 1:17:39
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » Fallen4MyT, posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:38:27
Lol...I can imagine the why stuff I do not have kids but I know that stage,..its annoying and funny :) And youre welcome
> > ..at the age it seems much more would be too much.
> >
> > HUGS
>
> Fallen,
>
> Thanks for the hugs and I agree, I can't overload him with too much information otherwise he won't understand and just keep asking "why? Why? Why? Why?" (Can you tell what stage we're in ;)?)
>
> Laurie
>
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 29, 2005, at 11:12:43
In reply to Re: My son is two and a half... » Emily Elizabeth, posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 23:49:02
> Hi, Emily Elizabeth! (Any relation to Clifford the Big Red Dog? ;))
>
That's why I picked it. :) I was wondering if anyone noticed. My real name involves neither Emily nor Elizabeth, but that's the fun of picking a posting name.Gee, I wonder what this means about my psyche.. ;)
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