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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mair on January 13, 2005, at 20:19:28
I'd love some feedback on this.
My T claims that people make much more progress in therapy when they are not so depressed. It's her argument for making sure you're maximizing med possibilities.
I feel closest to her when i am most depressed. Since connection is such an issue for me, I think I almost need internal crisis, to make progress.
I had one of those totally neutral non threatening sessions today where I just brought her up to date on some stuff happening with my kids. I left feeling that nothing had been accomplished.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 20:22:02
In reply to Do things have to be bad for them to be good?, posted by mair on January 13, 2005, at 20:19:28
Not for me. The key for me is a combination of my delving deep and taking risks and him being fully present.
We probably don't do enough of the day to day stuff.
Posted by Annierose on January 13, 2005, at 21:03:49
In reply to Re: Do things have to be bad for them to be good?, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 20:22:02
I don't like doing the day to day stuff. I feel like I'm not spending my time with her wisely during those sessions. She would argue (although never really having this particular discussion with her) that the unconscious mind knows why we are "here" (i.e. therapy) and relevant information would be brought forward. I'm more the type "this is my problem, please help me with it"
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 14, 2005, at 0:19:48
In reply to Do things have to be bad for them to be good?, posted by mair on January 13, 2005, at 20:19:28
I agree with your T in the area of progess as the ability to think (process) when one is not weighted down by depression or anxiety is much easier. It may feel better and you may feel closer to a T when your dependant and or depressed and anxious and they are like a life raft but when you can sit back and relax think clearly without the fog of depression it seems to me one could make more progress and put more effort in too
Posted by mair on January 14, 2005, at 11:33:28
In reply to Re: Do things have to be bad for them to be good? » mair, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 14, 2005, at 0:19:48
I get what you're saying about the difficulty of making progress when you have to spend so much time working through thought distortions. When I'm in a fairly depressed state, I get locked into thinking patterns which are difficult to deal with.
On the flip side however, right now a major area of preoccupation is a suppression of emotional responses which I think ties into an inability to feel connected with other people. Talking about this on a rational level is not particularly helpful because it provides ample opportunity for me to do what I do best - detach myself.
I went through a really rough period before Christmas when I had to deal with plenty of thought distortions. It's also one of the few times I can recall ever feeling close to my T.
I guess I'm just wondering whether I can feel that closeness other than when I'm fairly distraught.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 17:41:28
In reply to Do the Issues Make a Difference?, posted by mair on January 14, 2005, at 11:33:28
Won't it be a wonderful sign of progress when that feeling of closeness is a constant? :)
That being said, when I'm frantic, my therapist is the first one I think of calling, and I can barely stand the distance between sessions. While I'm more able to stand on my own two feet at other times. I *need* him most at those times. But I feel closest to him during the pre-separation bonding sessions when we talk about childhood experiences or silly things like that.
Posted by LG04 on January 17, 2005, at 21:05:39
In reply to Do the Issues Make a Difference?, posted by mair on January 14, 2005, at 11:33:28
Hi Mair, I know exactly what you mean. I also tend to feel closest to my therapist when I am really upset, i.e. when I really need her. But I have learned/experienced also feeling very close to her when I am not upset or needy.
So I am sure that you can also feel close to her without being distraught. It might just take time. And I think it has to do with trust. Once I was more able to internalize my therapist and trust her, to know she's there and loves me and cares about me even when we're not together, then I could feel really close to her even when not in need.
My guess is it will happen for you too eventually.
LG
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