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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by thewrite1 on January 9, 2005, at 11:57:56
I went in for my session yesterday with quite a problem. I'd explain it to you, but it would take entirely too long for me to type out and most likely would belong in the relationship section. It's a tough one, though, and it's kept me from sleeping all week.
I talked to my therapist about it, and she drew some parallels between this situation and things that happened to me in my childhood. I became that child. I was just sobbing uncontrollably and just not able to talk. Afterward I told her that person had left, and I kept talking about her in the 3rd person. I really felt separate from her.
That's never happened to me before. I've talked about the things that I've been through, but I've always managed to be somewhat removed from it.
I've always kind of thought the idea that everything has something to do with something else that happened long ago kind of loopy, but now I'm starting to wonder. It was so easy to tap into that, and now even though this situation isn't solved, I do feel somewhat better. I was even able to sleep last night.
I was starting to think my T had done all she could for me, but now I'm thinking we had a major breakthrough. While it was painful, I feel like I've accomplished something.
Posted by Pfinstegg on January 9, 2005, at 12:45:33
In reply to Interesting session, posted by thewrite1 on January 9, 2005, at 11:57:56
I think you really did! It sounds as though you were able to bring up powerful feelings from a part of you which had previously been unconscious and *cut-off* from your adult self. In my own therapy, this is happening quite a lot, now, and I am actually always surprised, afterwards, that I feel a bit better, each time. I have a diagnosis of an ego state disorder, meaning that I have separated my adult self to an abnormal extent from a childhood self which suffered abuse and neglect. I am starting to wonder, however, whether everyone does this to a greater or lesser extent, in order to deal with the disappointments which we probably all have in some aspects of our childhoods.
Posted by Aphrodite on January 9, 2005, at 18:03:51
In reply to Interesting session, posted by thewrite1 on January 9, 2005, at 11:57:56
It sounds like it was a major breakthrough, though I am sure it will take a few sessions to process it all. It was a strange feeling the first time I experienced it, too.
You may want to do a search on this board for "ego states". Pfinstegg in particular has had a lot to say about it, but you might also be interested that a lot of others here including myself, Daisy, Dinah and Antigua (I may be forgetting some) -- we have had discussed similar situations as yours on this board.
I hope you keep us posted as to how you and your T handle this breakthrough.
Posted by thewrite1 on January 10, 2005, at 9:43:41
In reply to Re: Interesting session » thewrite1, posted by Pfinstegg on January 9, 2005, at 12:45:33
Thanks, guys. I've never heard of ego state disorder, so I'm going to see what I can find on that. Thanks for the info!
Posted by daisym on January 11, 2005, at 1:00:03
In reply to Interesting session, posted by thewrite1 on January 9, 2005, at 11:57:56
I wanted to add in that the first time I felt something like this I thought I was just nuts. I still struggle with talking about myself in parts and pieces. But it is so clearly a different age state when it happens. And my therapist seems Ok with it. Today he was talking about a peace treaty between us all. Good luck! I want the younger ones to go back to sleep and they want me to go away and leave them in therapy.
As far as a break through, for me, it was almost a relief to let this voice and her feelings out some. It freed up energy for other things. And I didn't even realize I was expending energy editing and controlling her feelings.
Therapy is an amazing process is so many ways.
Posted by thewrite1 on January 11, 2005, at 12:29:59
In reply to Re: Interesting session » thewrite1, posted by daisym on January 11, 2005, at 1:00:03
It does feel nuts to me, too. At first I didn't realize I was even talking about this other part of me as if she was a different person, but it really weirded me out. I immediately thought "Oh God, I hope this doesn't mean I have MPD." Thankfully it sounds like it's fairly common.
Afterward I told me T she should have told her she was okay. "I should have," she said, "and if you're asking if you're okay, you are." I shot her a look and she asked me what it meant. I told her that she didn't need to tell me that. I know I'm okay, but the other one, she doesn't.
Thinking about that exchange now seems really bizarre, but it just came out that way. It was completely natural.
Posted by daisym on January 11, 2005, at 16:40:37
In reply to Re: Interesting session » daisym, posted by thewrite1 on January 11, 2005, at 12:29:59
The first time my therapist talked to little daisy I was so angry with him...she talked back and cried but at the next session I asked him, "why did you DO that?!" His reply was because she was right there -- in the room with us -- "couldn't you feel her?" Of course I could, I didn't think he could!
We also talked about MPD vs. age states. He reassured me that this wasn't that. But if those ages don't talk now for awhile he will mention that he hasn't heard from little daisy and he wonders what she is hiding from.
Still makes me mad when he does that! I'm getting better at catching him though. Last week I couldn't get past the anxiety to talk and he said, "what does little daisy think about this anxiety?" My response was, "No fair asking her questions. I don't want to let her out." He said "darn" he'd have to get sneakier.
Keep us posted. I'm always interested to hear how other therapists are responding to these incidents.
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 19:16:10
In reply to Re: Interesting session » thewrite1, posted by daisym on January 11, 2005, at 16:40:37
By the time mine had a face to face with my emotional self, we had been talking about me (pointing to head) and me (pointing to belly) for soooo long. And I had been "listening" to the surges of feelings that served as communication for clues about what was going on. Then of course, there were the hostile takeovers.
By the time I was able to access that part of me, he was totally matter of fact. And maybe we were both relieved. Things seem to have gone more smoothly since. (Believe it or not).
And I checked with my therapist. Not only does he not think I have DID, he doesn't think I have MPD either. :)
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 19:17:22
In reply to Re: Interesting session » daisym, posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 19:16:10
This is the end of the thread.
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