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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 11:44:36
as you all know i have really struggled with therapy...if i've even had it.
i made attempt (od) in sept. and while i was in "the center" he terminated with no real explanation and quite 'to the point'-end of discussion.
so i've been struggling trying to find another.
thought in december found one, he did testing on me and last session i went to see him to get results, wasn't clear on wheather he would see me-he sounded like he was but gave me other names cuz he was going to be gone for 3 weeks.
when i went to pick up results i saw him and asked him point blank "when you get back, knowing my Dx are you willing to take me on as a patient?" he looked straight at me and said "YES, i just gave you those names so you have coverage while i'm gone"
so that next week -after he was already gone out of state i made an appointment for when he would get back, that was yesterday.
yesterday morning his secretary called and said she was cancelling cuz he told her he wasn't taking on any new patients.
i was confused and thought...maybe he meant after taking me on he wasn't taking on new...maybe i misunderstood?? maybe he just didn't want to say no to my face??
his secretary said i should leave a voice message with him so i did, he didn't call back. i called right before my "scheduled" appt and said i hadn't heard back and would just not come in then...she had me hold-she called his office and she told me he would call me before the day was over...
he never did.so now i waited all this time...no one. he had some personal issues (person in family passed away) and i don't know if he just can't handle any more work load, or if he just changed his mind about me?
So frustrated cuz i finally found a person that i thought understood my personality and 'quarks'. i just can't believe that i'm 31, having all this trouble and despite growing up the way i did am able to FINALLY seek out help when i need it, i'm able to ask for help and just can't seem to get it.
i'm guessing i just won't hear back from him. have pdoc appt. next friday (thank GOD!) and will tell him all this.
i really needed him this week. got in to work first thing mon morning after 2 weeks off and got my @$$ chewed for hour, about my horrible work performance in december and my position threatened (seriously this time) i have three weeks to 'prove' my 'abilities or else'. My anxiety is so high i'm nauseous all day.i'm still down but not dysfunctionally depressed. i mentioned to my pdoc about talking about AD and his response was yes "we'll talk", with tone of i don't think you need one.
he deals with a lot of Severe (hospitalized) patients and i feel like since i can function somewhat in society that i really "should be lucky and just suck it up". maybe this is God's way of telling me i need to not open some of those locked doors. that i should just leave things alone and try to function from here on out.gg- would love to hear your insight from your side of the table.
mostly venting though. i'm scared for my job, i can't seem to function as a wife, i still have terrible sleep cycles/nightmares-hypnogogic/hypnopompic episodes. i feel like i'm heading toward another breakdown. i just can't do this anymore. i don't know what to do. i don't want to die but i don't want to live like this?
i want help but no one seems to want to deal with me (on T level). i also don't want my file passed around to all the T's in my town with all of them looking and saying "oh...she's one of those" and then not help me.sorry so long. really needed to let it all out.
down but not yet out.
b2c.
Posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 12:10:46
In reply to T changed his mind??!!, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 11:44:36
wierd. just after i finished posting my last post he (T) called me.
it turns out he's stopping his practice for a couple months due to personal issues. i feel badly for him. he said he hopes to be back in a couple months but not sure if he'll be back. (i was a little confused if he was going one place temp then permanantly moving somewhere else?) anyway,
he recommended a book earlier and i thanked him for it, and that i was Really enjoying it- almost like i found a friend in the book. he commented that he thought i would like it and that if i was still interested in a couple months to call him up even if it was just to talk about "Jung".
i'm glad i got to hear his voice. (he was a 'keeper', i knew it dang it.) i finally find a good one and he's leaving.
welcome to my luck/life.
well...@#*($&(#*&%($*%)@(#*$)(_#_)!@#((&*@#*&%$(*&#$%
(sorry dr.bob)b2c.
Posted by partlycloudy on January 7, 2005, at 12:21:30
In reply to Re: T changed his-revised, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 12:10:46
My T closed her practice right before Christmas - also due to personal reasons. She had recommended someone else but I ended up going through my p-doc to find this new one. Isn't it frustrating? Plus it feels like it's taken FOREVER to get started - filling in assessment forms, going over The Life Story, trying to figure out if you even *like* this person enough to tell them all this.
I've ended up with a good therapist after all that, but while I was lurching around trying to find one it made me feel terribly vulnerable.
Posted by Shortelise on January 7, 2005, at 12:27:54
In reply to Re: T changed his-revised, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 12:10:46
((((((chica))))))))))
He referred you to someone else? I think T's probably have friends whose practices they know, and send them patients who are suited to them. Or so I hope.
I am so so glad he called you. It was about him, not you!
ShortE
Posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 13:01:36
In reply to Re: T changed his-revised, posted by partlycloudy on January 7, 2005, at 12:21:30
sorry to hear it about yours!
and YES is is frustrating..Exactly what you said about taking forever to get started and even like. and YES vulnerable and boy do i HATE THAT!!!
Am glad you found a good one. hope i do...i'm gonna wait and talk with pdoc next friday about this...see what route to take next. i know that i would like to see him if he does come back...several months from now.
Thanks for sharing. it helps.
b2c.>Isn't it frustrating? Plus it feels like it's taken FOREVER to get started - filling in assessment forms, going over The Life Story, trying to figure out if you even *like* this person enough to tell them all this.
>
> I've ended up with a good therapist after all that, but while I was lurching around trying to find one it made me feel terribly vulnerable.
>
Posted by cubic_me on January 7, 2005, at 13:23:47
In reply to Re: T changed his-revised » partlycloudy, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 13:01:36
I'm sorry your having so many problems with this - and he soooo sounded like the right one. At least his door will reopen in a couple of months. Could you go to someone else for some short term 'maintainance' type work?
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:37:19
In reply to T changed his mind??!!, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 11:44:36
Hi B2C.
I read your post, but I'm kinda brain fried at the moment. I'll post later when I can give it justice.But I'm glad he called.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:51:46
In reply to T changed his mind??!!, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 11:44:36
Sweetie,
I had a number of thoughts when re-reading your first post. I think it's unfortunate when a dx follows your around like the cloud of dirt over Pig Pen on Charlie Brown. It's just not fair to assign negative meaning like that. It is what it is. However, I suppose if a T is leery of working with you, then perhaps they would not be good for you anyway. Is there anyone in your area who specializes in clients with problems such as yours?Also, I think it stinks if your pdoc gives you the impression that because you are functioning better than his worse off clients, you don't need to have all your symptoms treated. However, I think there are times when it is more helpful to keep a lid on the emotional stuff and the unconscious and focus on support rather than uncovering. Some people, and I don't know if you are one of them, do better to NOT uncover yucky stuff, and rather to learn to contain it.
Perhaps that is your pdocs and prior T's point of view?
I'm sorry, though that you are wanting help to get better and you are meeting road blocks. Keep trying. Our system is not great, and sometimes it takes persistence on the part of the client, which, unfortunately, is not always easy given that we are already struggling.
Take care, sweetie.
gg
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 9, 2005, at 0:25:35
In reply to Re: T changed his-revised » partlycloudy, posted by B2Chica on January 7, 2005, at 13:01:36
I have no words of wisdom I would be so frustrated in your spot but I think it will work out just finding the right one to open up to will sadly take time
Posted by B2Chica on January 10, 2005, at 13:22:30
In reply to Re: T changed his-revised, posted by cubic_me on January 7, 2005, at 13:23:47
i'm hoping he DOES come back. he may need to leave permanantly!! ugh. ya i'm going back and forth about it. i'll think it over this week and maybe give a few new T's calls and see if i can just meet with them for a few minutes. Heck...maybe it's God's way of saying i SHOULD talk with a female (till) this other T comes back (if he does).
thanks for the cares
b2c.> I'm sorry your having so many problems with this - and he soooo sounded like the right one. At least his door will reopen in a couple of months. Could you go to someone else for some short term 'maintainance' type work?
Posted by B2Chica on January 10, 2005, at 13:32:28
In reply to Re: T changed his mind??!!, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:51:46
> Is there anyone in your area who specializes in clients with problems such as yours?
that one was one of about 3....(D@mn IT!) man i hope he comes back.
> Also, I think it stinks if your pdoc gives you the impression that because you are functioning better than his worse off clients, you don't need to have all your symptoms treated. However, I think there are times when it is more helpful to keep a lid on the emotional stuff and the unconscious and focus on support rather than uncovering. Some people, and I don't know if you are one of them, do better to NOT uncover yucky stuff, and rather to learn to contain it.I've REALLY been thinking about this ALOT lately. the only thing that's really pushing me to get it out are the nightmares/hyg/hypompic episodes have gradually been getting worse...more frequent, also still have some things 'trigger' me to memories, some i have forgotten. and...
the logical side of me says- get it out then you'll be done and can move on...see my biggest fear is, well i want children and i don't want to screw them up because of things i remember- don't want to be over protective, overbearing and god help me i don't want to be like my mother with her mood swings...
i guess there's one of my mysteries, why it's probably hard for me in therapy, i learned early NOT to show emotion...ANY cuz no matter what reaction i had it wasn't "RIGHT" and got punished for it...
i don't want that for my children, but i want them. and i'm tired of putting it off.ON the other hand, i have done it so long that i'm afraid of changing how i react, respond to emotions, how i 'handle' them. And if i get someone who's no good??? it could be worse.
So i guess fear is a big part of it here.wow, thanks for letting me talk all that out....I'm not as fed up as i thought. i think i AM going to try to call a few new ones, Female even (HUGE breakthrough for me there). maybe cover the sexual stuff with female and when/if other T comes back he can help me manage thoughts/depression/emotions (he REALLY understood me there.)
Thank you so much gg!
wow, you just witnessed a mini breakthrough.
i wish i could come see you...
THANK YOU.
b2c.
Posted by ghost on January 10, 2005, at 20:42:33
In reply to Re: T changed his mind??!! » gardenergirl, posted by B2Chica on January 10, 2005, at 13:32:28
b2c,
i wish i could say something good, but i guess i don't have it in me lately. i just wanted you to know i was thinking of you and it's rotten your T stopped when you needed him the most (but at least it's not you, it's him). i know someone who's pdoc said that she was an "easy" patient and i think that's similar to what you're going through. i think it's kinda rude.
anyhow. i just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you. do take care, and do hang in there. i'm rooting for you.
lots of love,
ghost
Posted by B2Chica on January 11, 2005, at 12:22:07
In reply to Re: T changed his mind??!!, posted by ghost on January 10, 2005, at 20:42:33
Thanks for the support Ghost sweetie. :)
i REALLY liked him. i'm sad for him cuz it wasn't a good reason he had to stop. and i can only hope he comes back cuz i'll see him in a heartbeat.
but until then...the race is on.
b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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