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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:01:48
Is the first thing you bring up in your session the most important?
My shrink always gets hung up on whatever I talk about first. If I mention, that, say, last time I saw him he seeemed tired, he'll come back to it in the converstaion in some way. Or if I say, I would prefer this not to be the topic of our entire session, but mention something, he'll come back to it.
Is there some belief that what we talk about first is of primary importance?
Do many of you have something specific you feel you need to talk about, but do some "housecleaning" first?
Is there some subconscious (or is that unconscious?) thing about the first thing we talk about?
Hmm....??
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 5, 2005, at 1:14:08
In reply to first subject in session, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:01:48
Hi ShortE not me my T even told me once he gets frustrated cause I save the most important stuff for my parting words .... :)
We often ran 1/2 hr to an hour over due to this
> Is the first thing you bring up in your session the most important?
>
> My shrink always gets hung up on whatever I talk about first. If I mention, that, say, last time I saw him he seeemed tired, he'll come back to it in the converstaion in some way. Or if I say, I would prefer this not to be the topic of our entire session, but mention something, he'll come back to it.
>
> Is there some belief that what we talk about first is of primary importance?
>
> Do many of you have something specific you feel you need to talk about, but do some "housecleaning" first?
>
> Is there some subconscious (or is that unconscious?) thing about the first thing we talk about?
>
> Hmm....??
>
>
Posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:18:27
In reply to Re: first subject in session » Shortelise, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 5, 2005, at 1:14:08
Yes, I do that sometimes too.
Hm.
Thanks, 4T
ShortE
Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 4:26:14
In reply to first subject in session, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:01:48
Sometimes, but just as frequently it's just something I want to take care of quickly.
Posted by fallsfall on January 5, 2005, at 7:26:59
In reply to first subject in session, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:01:48
I have read that there is a strong correlation between the first subject and the theme for the session.
But, I also agree about the housekeeping. I often will talk about one or two short things before getting to what I *think* (consciously) is important.
I think some of it depends on how much the patient "plans" the session. If the patient just comes in and talks off the top of his head, then I would suspect that the correlation would be stronger. Whereas, if he comes in with a physical or mental list of "topics", then the import of whatever is talked about first could have been diluted by the planning process.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 5, 2005, at 8:27:42
In reply to Re: first subject in session » Shortelise, posted by fallsfall on January 5, 2005, at 7:26:59
There is a school of thought that places particular importance on the 1st thing that you bring up. However, I would suggest that you bring this question up with your T. It would be interesting (and maybe helpful) to know his thoughts on this.
EE
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 9:37:42
In reply to first subject in session, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:01:48
Shorte,
As ridiculous as this sounds, I prepare an agenda for every session. I have a copy and I hand my T a copy. OF course, most times the agenda is never followed! However, I usually have 3 or 4 topics listed. So, if we only spend the whole session on the first topic, he knows there are other things to be discussed as well.
I seem to think this tactic makes the first topic listed not seem so important, but that everything on the agenda is equally important.
I'm sure my T thinks I am completely insane for doing this!
Posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 11:36:51
In reply to Re: first subject in session » Shortelise, posted by fallsfall on January 5, 2005, at 7:26:59
Thanks Dinah, Falls, EE and Miss H - I have commented on this to my T but I have never asked him to explain. I wonder if he would. Of course he would.
Funny, but as I see him only once every two weeks, my time with him has become more prescious and so the question I am now asking myself is "is it worth the time to find out about this?"
Hm.
I think that will be my favourite expression for 2005. Hm. Hmmm... Hmm...?
Thanks
ShortE
Posted by mair on January 5, 2005, at 11:40:03
In reply to Re: first subject in session, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 9:37:42
Sometimes I have trouble starting. My T will get us started and once I feel more comfortable, I'll move us to another more important topic fairly quickly, if where she's started is not what I need to talk about. (all of this is after dealing with a few basic housekeeping matters if there are any or minor chit chat)
That I can shift topics to something of importance to me is a huge improvement. I used to be a classic example of someone who frequently brought up the most important thing with mere minutes left in the session. Sometimes I'd raise an issue literally as I walked out the door as in "the next time we meet we should probably talk about X." This way I didn't have to be the person to raise the issue during the next session because it was essentially already on the table.
Even that was an improvement over earlier times when I'd let my T direct where things would go and I'd breathe a great sigh of relief if she never raised the issue of most importance to me or if I was able to adroitly avoid getting anywhere near the most important issues.
Mair
Posted by ghost on January 5, 2005, at 21:17:29
In reply to first subject in session, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:01:48
the first subject i bring up is usually the least important. it's my way of filling up silence (which i hate), and it's usually just a route to get to the real subject that should be discussed that day. i've only had a couple of other Ts, but they often harped on the first subject, too, and i just wanted to scream "you dumbass! that's not what i'm talking about!" or something like that.
i just can't walk in and say off teh bat "this is my problem: discuss." i just don't work like that.
Posted by Camille Dumont on January 5, 2005, at 23:04:50
In reply to Re: first subject in session, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 9:37:42
> I'm sure my T thinks I am completely insane for doing this!I'm sure your T has seen things way more "insane" than that. ;-)
Posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2005, at 23:34:26
In reply to Re: first subject in session, posted by Camille Dumont on January 5, 2005, at 23:04:50
I suspect my T must think it's important, whatever I first talk about. Because he usually links back all the miscellaneous stuff to that with an over-arching theme or uses that first topic as a metaphor.
I guess he thinks whatever comes out first, even if it seems simple and unrelated, is what's on my mind at the moment, so is important.
He's tricky that way! :)
gg
Posted by antigua on January 7, 2005, at 11:41:22
In reply to Re: first subject in session, posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2005, at 23:34:26
GG, my T does that too. I know she's happiest when she has everything all tied up neatly together, even with a bow, which I would consider a positive thought she wants to leave me with for that day.
I've changed my tactics over the years. Sometimes I go in and tell her what I "think" I want to talk about (often ends up differently) and we go from there. Other times, and more commonly, I will consciously forget the important things to tell her and sometimes they don't resurface until we have 10 or 15 minutes left. I know these issues are important because I've "forgotten" to bring them up.
antigua
Posted by Shortelise on January 7, 2005, at 12:20:22
In reply to Re: first subject in session, posted by mair on January 5, 2005, at 11:40:03
I paid close attention yesterday, and found that I was unprepared to talk when I first got there, wanted to talk about my visit home, but there were so many aspects, and I also needed to talk about some things I see in my mother, things that keep her from being well, that I also fear I have in myself.
I wonder if it isn't his insistence on coming back to these first things that inhibit me? Ach, I am just trying to justify my own blithering inability to speak my mind sometimes.
How anyone can ever have patience enough to talk to me, I wonder.
(insert stream of invective)
ShortE
Posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 21:06:51
In reply to yesterday, posted by Shortelise on January 7, 2005, at 12:20:22
Okay, this is funny. The other day I started talking about something that seemed really easy and not that important to talk about. I consciously felt myself shift into what I "really" wanted to talk about a few minutes later. Danged if I didn't come to realize in mid-sentence how they actually were very very related. And how is it that I can figure that out for myself in the session, before he even got a change to (ha!), but not on my own?
The mind is an odd thing.
gg
Posted by annierose on January 13, 2005, at 22:30:53
In reply to Re: yesterday, posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 21:06:51
GG -
My T and I had this conversation today (as you know). She said, "the mind is very clever. It knows why you are here. And in the midst of talking about something seemingly inconsequential, another thought will pop up that helps us understand something else." Basically, she wants me to trust her in this process of free association ... which you did successfully!! I told her it felt I was being sent to the principal office for not following the rules. "Oh no" she coyly replied.
Posted by Shortelise on January 13, 2005, at 22:39:01
In reply to Re: yesterday, posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 21:06:51
Now that you mention it, that happens to me, too. I don't mean I always realize how they're related - I only do that sometimes - but they do end up being related. Kind of the ways dreams turn out to be about the things we're thinking about, but in a really strange way sometimes.
ShortE
Posted by Susan47 on January 14, 2005, at 12:57:00
In reply to Re: yesterday, posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 21:06:51
That's really true, GG, the mind is amazing isn't it? When I was in therapy I often found the same thing happening to me. Therapy is such a great tool, and it's nice for me to believe that we come to our solutions ourselves. When solutions came to me in therapy, it always felt like a validation of my ability to help myself.
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