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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 18:04:36
Hello everyone,
I was curious if this was my problem alone, or if others shared it.
I've had a few different therapists, but I have insisted that they all be female (I'm Male). I find it extremely difficult to discuss certain emotions with a male therapist. On the other hand, I'm unable to discuss anything really related to sex with a female therapist, but that subject somes up so rarely that I can live with it.
So, am I alone in my inabillity to discuss more emotional subjects with a male Therapist?Thanks
Posted by Dan Perkins on January 4, 2005, at 18:04:36
In reply to Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 15:14:00
I just started with a male therapist and I'm trying to figure the same things out for myself. I have only seen one therapist before (a female) as well as another one that I only saw for a couple of sessions (also a female). I'm just not sure if I'm going to be able to express myself with this guy as well as I was able to with the women.
On our first appointment (our only one so far) I already felt kind of detached when I was describing what was wrong with me, it felt like I was telling him about somebody else, there was no emotional connection. To be fair, I'm not sure if we just had an off appointment or if the problem really did have to do with him being a guy. He does seem like a decent enough doctor, but if I'm not able to open up with him emotionally b/c he's a guy, then I am going to have to drop him and get a woman.
> Hello everyone,
>
> I was curious if this was my problem alone, or if others shared it.
> I've had a few different therapists, but I have insisted that they all be female (I'm Male). I find it extremely difficult to discuss certain emotions with a male therapist. On the other hand, I'm unable to discuss anything really related to sex with a female therapist, but that subject somes up so rarely that I can live with it.
> So, am I alone in my inabillity to discuss more emotional subjects with a male Therapist?
>
> Thanks
Posted by tampagirl70 on January 4, 2005, at 18:04:36
In reply to Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 15:14:00
I've had both male and female therapists, but I've decided recently that I want a female so I can be more open about the issues I have with sex and my husband. I can tell a male about it, but I want a woman's input since men and women have different views on sex and relationships. I feel kind of funny talking to a member of the opposite sex about my sex life, but since its in a professional setting, its not like I'm looking for "dirty talk." If you're more comfortable with a woman, than stick with a woman. Most women are more feeling/emotional than men, or at least that's my opinion.
Posted by Phillipa on January 4, 2005, at 18:04:37
In reply to Re: Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by tampagirl70 on January 4, 2005, at 16:06:21
I agree. I've always had a male and they are not empathetic. I did have a good female for a short time. We connected, and the pdoc didn't like what her suggestions were so he told her she could not counsel me. It was in his practice that she also was. Now I can't even find one. To those who have a good one you're lucky. Hold on to them. Phillipa
Posted by messadivoce on January 4, 2005, at 22:07:37
In reply to Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 15:14:00
I am female and I was very reluctant to open up to my male T (who was assigned to me by my university clinic). I have issues trusting men anyway. Eventually I know I trusted him more than any man I've ever known. But I did have a lot of trouble in the beginning with him because I didn't want to get hurt. But he turned out to be the most empathetic, caring and nurturing of the 3 T's I have seen in my life. I could tell him all of my feelings and we had a lot of tense and emotional moments together. I think he was a very emotional person himself.
Are you reluctant as a guy to discuss your emotions with another guy? Is it more "acceptable" to you to be emotional in front of a woman than a man?
Posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 1:06:30
In reply to Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 15:14:00
I've never discussed sex more than cursorily with my shrink, and therapy has been very helpful. However, my problems aren't sexual ones.
ShortE
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 8:35:57
In reply to Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 15:14:00
I too have found female Ts more empathetic. However, as a female, I discovered that was something I didn't want. I wanted a man's more "rational" and analytic take on my problems. I have all of my girlfriends to be empathetic, I don't have many male friends.
So I think it's natural to want an opposite sex T, maybe even for that reason alone.
Posted by Daisym on January 5, 2005, at 11:10:07
In reply to Re: Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 8:35:57
I think when you spend some time with any therapist whatever your issues are will come forth, no matter what the sex of the therapist. It is about trust and consistency. I have a male therapist and he is among the most empathic people I've ever met. We've discussed sex in depth, as well as many other subjects. Yes, I've blushed at times but he made it easier than I imagined it would be.
Actually, for me, talking about suicidal thoughts was way harder than talking about sex. I was a lot more embarrassed to admit to those thoughts.
Posted by B2Chica on January 5, 2005, at 13:11:23
In reply to Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by Broken on January 4, 2005, at 15:14:00
Definately not alone.
i am female but refuse to see a female therapist....(i have 'issues' with women). to me i trust men better or at least i seem to "know where i stand with them". always had male friends and it seemed that once i felt the trust was there and that i could confide and communicate that if there were sex issues that i could talk about them. (did with last therapist...it was very hard and didn't make eye contact the entire time but i it was more cuz of the content and my emotional state than him being male.)just follow your instincts, and it isn't going to help you if you can't discuss those more emotional topics...
my2c.
b2c.
> Hello everyone,
>
> I was curious if this was my problem alone, or if others shared it.
> I've had a few different therapists, but I have insisted that they all be female (I'm Male). I find it extremely difficult to discuss certain emotions with a male therapist. On the other hand, I'm unable to discuss anything really related to sex with a female therapist, but that subject somes up so rarely that I can live with it.
> So, am I alone in my inabillity to discuss more emotional subjects with a male Therapist?
>
> Thanks
Posted by Broken on January 5, 2005, at 15:28:44
In reply to Re: Male/Female Therapists and my Hangup, posted by messadivoce on January 4, 2005, at 22:07:37
> I am female and I was very reluctant to open up to my male T (who was assigned to me by my university clinic). I have issues trusting men anyway. Eventually I know I trusted him more than any man I've ever known. But I did have a lot of trouble in the beginning with him because I didn't want to get hurt. But he turned out to be the most empathetic, caring and nurturing of the 3 T's I have seen in my life. I could tell him all of my feelings and we had a lot of tense and emotional moments together. I think he was a very emotional person himself.
>
> Are you reluctant as a guy to discuss your emotions with another guy? Is it more "acceptable" to you to be emotional in front of a woman than a man?Actually, yes, well sort've. My biggest problem is discussing something that puts me in intense emotional pain. First of all, I despise opening up to anyone, however, I realize to be helped, I have to. Add to that the fact that I feel, I dont know, repulsed, by sharing my most intimate feelings with a male, and it's impossible to do. I dont know why I cant do it, it's just a thing.. I guess.
This is the end of the thread.
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