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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2005, at 20:24:57
I had a semi-erotic dream about my therapist. Except that it wasn't really erotic. It was about being held by him first, and then by him and my husband at the same time.
It gave me a darn good scare until I figured out why.
I was telling some friends last night that I thought my therapist might be on the verge of getting a tad too relaxed and comfortable around me, although I like it of course. And the dream started with him sprawled on a much more comfortable sofa than he actually had, and we ended up sort of sprawling together. Not erotically, but more like I do with my son.
I was also showing them a picture of my father and I, and in the photo I was sitting/leaning on my father's lap with my legs outstretched and spread a bit while I reached up with my arms and gazed up at him. This was also along the lines of what was in my dream.
Now why my husband was in it, I couldn't say.
There is no way on God's green earth that I am going to tell him about this, which is the first dream I ever remember along these lines.
Posted by Aphrodite on January 2, 2005, at 21:09:09
In reply to I scared myself, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2005, at 20:24:57
Remember how sometimes you say you run out of things to talk about in therapy? Why not save this for one of those times? :) That will get his attention and jump start the conversation.
Posted by Annierose on January 2, 2005, at 22:14:33
In reply to Re: I scared myself » Dinah, posted by Aphrodite on January 2, 2005, at 21:09:09
I'm with you Dinah - I wouldn't share that type of dream either (although I've never had the type of dream with my T ... maybe because my T is female). Dreams can get our attention, can't they? Maybe it's a healthy sign your husband was also in the dream. You want him to be more a part of your life? Or you wish you could share more of your therapy experience? I'm not good at dream interpretation.
Posted by daisym on January 3, 2005, at 1:41:43
In reply to I scared myself, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2005, at 20:24:57
I think you've figured it out for yourself already but I agree, it seems more about safety than sex. I would guess that your husband is in it because you wish and need his support as much as you do your therapist's. Being held is such a physical need and your husband is "allowed" to do this for you, while your therapist holds you emotionally.
I'm trying not to project my own wants and needs here. But I'd tell your therapist. It might make him step back and be less "comfortable" with you. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by DissociativeJane on January 3, 2005, at 9:33:12
In reply to I scared myself, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2005, at 20:24:57
Dinah,
I think you SHOULD share your dream with your therapist.
Posted by Toph on January 3, 2005, at 9:55:52
In reply to I scared myself, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2005, at 20:24:57
I'm not sure what this dream means to you, but the fact that your T, you Dad and your husband are all in it is significant. And, hey, what's not sexy about snuggling on the couch? You seem to have pretty good boundaries, even in a dream Dinah.
-Toph
Posted by vwoolf on January 3, 2005, at 9:57:10
In reply to Re: I scared myself » Dinah, posted by DissociativeJane on January 3, 2005, at 9:33:12
Dinah, the dream doesn't sound at all sexual to me. It talks of comfort, of domesticity, of affection. You talk about lying and hugging him like a small child, like you did with your father and your husband. I think that says so many good, warm fuzzy things about your relationship with your T. Of course your adult self confuses the physical touch with sexual touch, but the dream doesn't go there at all. I would definitely share it - I am sure he will be pleased (unless you don't want to please him?)
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 14:00:29
In reply to Re: I scared myself, posted by vwoolf on January 3, 2005, at 9:57:10
Ok, I realized I glossed over the sexual aspect. It did start that way, the way I described it, but...
Did you ever have a good friend (I'm thinking back to college and high school) of the sex you're attracted to. And you might be wrestling or sitting together absently touching in the way friends do - feet on lap or something. And all of the sudden there is this mutual realization that he's a guy (in my case) and you're a girl (also in my case) and hey! this feels sort of good in a mildly stimulating way. Then depending on the level of friendship one or both of you might get embarassed and pull away. But with a really good friend that is *just* a friend, you might sit with the moment for a minute or ten and enjoy it before moving on without fanfare and without acting on the feeling. In other words, you sort of just enjoy the sexual feelings but they go no further.
That's more how it ended up in the dream before the switch to the part with my husband and my therapist both holding me.
OK, I'm going to admit something here. I *never* *ever* remember feeling sexual about my daddy. But the photo somehow seems a tad sexual to me. I am *positive* it's just me and only looking back as an adult, because no one I've shown it to has noticed it. Everyone says it looks like Daddy's little girl. And I'm *positive* that's what it was.
And wild horses wouldn't drag the dream from my lips to my therapist's ear. It might make him feel uncomfortable around me and less relaxed. And while I may intellectually know that's a good thing, no power on earth is going to get me to implement it.
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 17:43:41
In reply to Re: I scared myself (possible triggery), posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 14:00:29
Posted by crushedout on January 3, 2005, at 18:36:18
In reply to too weird, huh. (nm), posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 17:43:41
Naw, that's not too weird. I sensed it in your first post, that the picture had a sexual flavor to it.Dinah, I know this may seem silly, but I really appreciate your attention to not being heterosexist. :)
Posted by vwoolf on January 3, 2005, at 18:40:00
In reply to too weird, huh. (nm), posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 17:43:41
Not weird at all. But I still don't understand why you are so determined not to talk to your T about it. It might be difficult to bring this into the open, I admit, but wouldn't hiding it be worse?
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 19:19:42
In reply to Re: too weird, huh., posted by vwoolf on January 3, 2005, at 18:40:00
It was one of those moments of "Uh Oh. Disclosed too much." that always are so disconcerting, to say the least.
Would you mind looking at the photo to tell me if I'm nutty as a loon?
Posted by crushedout on January 3, 2005, at 19:22:24
In reply to Thanks crushed and » vwoolf, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 19:19:42
i would love to see the photo.you still have my email?
Posted by crushedout on January 3, 2005, at 19:23:26
In reply to Thanks crushed and » vwoolf, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2005, at 19:19:42
i totally have those moments, too. even though this site is anonymous, i get freaked out about exposing myself, 'specially when it's sexual.
This is the end of the thread.
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