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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 17:34:10
He went on for 15 minutes about how he has treated me like a dog (his words). 15 minutes! I thought that was a bit excessive. I just kind of sat there and let him rave. It took a while, but then I realised - oh, he is trying really hard to validate me. He even started telling me this... On and on. Until, would you believe, his mobile rang and he left the room to take a call.
AAAAAAAAAAAARGH.
Turns out 'option one' is basically my seeing his registrar. Still, said I'd do it in Jan while he was away thankyou very much (that one hadn't really occured to him but he could hardly say no after calling it an 'option'). I also said that he had one month. The month of Feb to SHOW me (rather than tell me) that he was indeed committed to working with me.
I have fowarded on information regarding e therapy (DHB said they'd fund my treatment, and fund it they shall) and I will also make noises regarding just how many people from private practice have been approached in my region.
I am not happy.
He has one month.
Posted by Dinah on December 23, 2004, at 17:37:58
In reply to the ongoing saga of T1, posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 17:34:10
Good for you for being an advocate for yourself. I hope he can manage to pull himself together.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 17:50:59
In reply to Re: the ongoing saga of T1, posted by Dinah on December 23, 2004, at 17:37:58
Yeah, good thing I am not really sick eh?
Thats the thing that freaks me out
Why does he like to work with inpatients?
Is the fact that they may well be unable to stick up for themselves and call him on his sh*t relevant?
Posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 18:02:36
In reply to the ongoing saga of T1, posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 17:34:10
How frustrating. You are right that he needs to be true in word AND deed. Giving him one month is very generous and fair of you.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 18:09:23
In reply to Re: the ongoing saga of T1, posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 18:02:36
> How frustrating. You are right that he needs to be true in word AND deed. Giving him one month is very generous and fair of you.
Thankyou Aphrodite :-)
To tell you the honest truth I really don't have much respect for him any more
And I don't believe anything he says
But lets give him a month to see if he can give me reason to change my mind...
I do like him.
I just don't trust him.
But at the end of the month
Nobody will be able to accuse me of not having tried my d*mn hardest to make this work.
Posted by cubic_me on December 28, 2004, at 9:25:44
In reply to Re: the ongoing saga of T1, posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 18:09:23
> Nobody will be able to accuse me of not having tried my d*mn hardest to make this work.So true - you will have tried *more* than you have to. And it won't just prove to other people that you have tried, but it will prove it to you too, and you can be satisfied that you have done your best, whatever happens.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 28, 2004, at 14:14:34
In reply to Re: the ongoing saga of T1 » alexandra_k, posted by cubic_me on December 28, 2004, at 9:25:44
>And it won't just prove to other people that you have tried...
Well, truth be told other people most probably still won't believe it. One charming therapist I worked with for a while terminated me (quite suddenly) and wrote a report for my file on how unsuitable I am for therapy and she reccomended that 'resources could better be allocated elsewhere'. Another therapist decided to go with her when she wrote an assessment on my suitability for therapy and so it has been a long hard battle for me just to get the system to acknowledge that I am suitable. That doesn't change the fact, however, that there is nobody suitable / willing to treat me.
>but it will prove it to you too, and you can be satisfied that you have done your best, whatever happens.
Yeah. That is the point really. I have been stuffing around with my present t's b*llshit for the past few months. To give him another 2 months is (in my opinion) very generous indeed. That way when I am blamed for the failure of the relationship at least I will be convinced in myself that I did my damn best - regardless of what others may say.
Posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 17:32:54
In reply to Re: the ongoing saga of T1 » cubic_me, posted by alexandra_k on December 28, 2004, at 14:14:34
I felt badly to learn of those rejecting experiences from two therapists. You seem to have all the things you need to work really well in therapy: brains, motivation, high personal goals,a good heart, common sense and insight into your self and your situation.
I think the problem is with the therapists: it's very difficult to find a good-enough therapist when you have serious trauma-related issues. Many of them are not trained to treat those. I had several rejecting situations with therapists until I found the wonderful one I have now. I think he is kind of a rarity- an analyst who specializes in treating childhood sexual/physical abuse. It's actually what he prefers doing! It has helped my confidence so much to know I'm not going to be terminated or rejected for speaking honestly about my problems.(I still do worry about that, but know it won't happen.) I have also realized that abuse victims have such low expectations about themselves and their relationships with others that they are hardly even aware of the talents and gifts they possess.
When you get to where you are choosing a new therapist, you could be a really careful and thoughtful consumer- there really are csa specialists out there to be found. You absolutely do not need any more rejecting or incompetent therapists
Posted by judy1 on December 28, 2004, at 18:01:00
In reply to the ongoing saga of T1, posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 17:34:10
ok, I understand now. Pfinstegg's assesment of therps who specialize in abuse issues are absolutely correct, they are rare but have the patience and kindness to deal with these issues. It took me years to find one, and while I am taking a break from her- I do know that she would see me with one phone call. she has been the only therp to date (out of dozens) that has gained my trust.
best of luck- judy
Posted by alexandra_k on December 29, 2004, at 16:01:18
In reply to Re: the ongoing saga of T1 » alexandra_k, posted by judy1 on December 28, 2004, at 18:01:00
Thanks.
I just get so weary of fighting. The main reason given for my unsuitablility is my 'inability to come up with suitable treatment goals'. I come up with stuff, but then they require me to operationalise that. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO OPERATIONALISE THEIR OWN GOALS FOR GODS SAKE??? Then they invariably say 'can't help you with that - sorry'.
I had an old keyworker who helped me out even though she left community mental health to go work for maternity mental health. She told me to request a meeting with some big admin person from the hospital. She told me the form the meeting would take etc and went with me for support. I had to go through each and every point of why I was 'unsuitable' to try to convince her that the points were false / invalid. There were a couple of past clinicians batting for the 'other side'. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO DO THIS?
The outcome was that admin decided that I was suitable for treatment. I was then told honestly (honesty from community mental health, get this) that there simply wasn't anyone suitable to work with me. That that was the problem.
But nothing gets changed with respect to the reccomendation of 'no treatment' on my file. I don't even get a right of response on their assessment. It puts off new clinicians who may agree to work with me if they had gotten the chance to get to know me a bit.
I don't know when / if things are likely to change for me with respect to treatment.
I am going to begin the fight for 'you have said I SHOULD get treatment, so how about funding that with someone suitable?' But my keyworker is gone now. I don't know where to begin.
Perhaps other people are in this situation but find the fight too overwhelming to contemplate.
I feel sick
Posted by Pfinstegg on December 29, 2004, at 23:35:35
In reply to Pfinstegg / Judy, posted by alexandra_k on December 29, 2004, at 16:01:18
This sounds impossible. I think you've shown a lot of health and strength to fight so hard for good therapy. Is this your university health service, or is it part of national health insurance?
Posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2005, at 1:05:24
In reply to Re: Pfinstegg / Judy » alexandra_k, posted by Pfinstegg on December 29, 2004, at 23:35:35
Um, this is Community Mental Health which is funded by the District Health Board for outpatient treatment of people with mental illness in this region.
I went to university councelling services once. Made the mistake of saying I had been diagnosed with BPD. I was told very firmly that I could only be offered a maximum of three sessions every 6 months and that was only if I had a specific problem that they felt they could help me with. They are trained as councellors to deal with relatively 'normal' people suffering a bit of culture shock or exam stress or something. They don't see people for ongoing mental illness - they would just be referred to community mental health or have to go private.
I am seeing someone from there at the moment as well... I am not sure how useful it is... I am very confused and disoriented at the moment.
This is the end of the thread.
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