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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by annierose on December 19, 2004, at 7:13:43
In reply to Re: I hear what you're saying. » daisym, posted by gardenergirl on December 18, 2004, at 21:50:32
... or, can you share what you are thinking about?
Drives me crazy ... if I could, I would be talking. Sometimes it can help, but my gut reaction is "No, I'm thinking what am I able to say without too much pain coming up."
Posted by cubic_me on December 20, 2004, at 13:11:49
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about?, posted by annierose on December 19, 2004, at 7:13:43
I volunteer for a telephone helpline/listening service. When all the volunteers have a social together we can't help using the 'standard phrases', it gets us rolling on the floor laughing at how stupid they sound!
Posted by Joslynn on December 20, 2004, at 13:55:29
In reply to Standard phrases, posted by cubic_me on December 20, 2004, at 13:11:49
More pdoc and therp standard phrases:
Well, life is a compromise.
Mental health is a continuum.
Healing is a process.
What are you thinking now?
Posted by 10derheart on December 20, 2004, at 21:41:05
In reply to Re: Standard phrases, posted by Joslynn on December 20, 2004, at 13:55:29
And one of my personal favorites....
"Sounds like that was really (hard) (difficult)(painful) (scary) for you."
[Sometimes I wanted to scream, "Well, DUH, of course it was! That's why I'm sobbing!!]
Don't get me wrong, though, still love[d] my T.
Posted by peacefeline on December 21, 2004, at 1:42:17
In reply to Re: Standard phrases » Joslynn, posted by 10derheart on December 20, 2004, at 21:41:05
Mine says, well, what did you do (or what have you been doing) with all the anger you felt?
(ummmm, sometimes I crochet doilies out of it. Or you can make a real nice centerpiece, with tiny umbrellas sticking out of it...if I leave it lying around, though, the cat gets it & chews the corners...)
Posted by 10derheart on December 21, 2004, at 2:32:10
In reply to Re: Standard phrases, posted by peacefeline on December 21, 2004, at 1:42:17
Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2004, at 6:09:47
In reply to Re: Standard phrases, posted by peacefeline on December 21, 2004, at 1:42:17
Chuckle.
Mine says "How did you handle that?". The answer that always pops out of my mouth is "Very badly" but the sheer foolishness of the question always astonishes/amuses me enough to break the tension so maybe it's a good thing.
Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2004, at 6:11:59
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about?, posted by annierose on December 19, 2004, at 7:13:43
Mine used to start with "What would you like to talk about today?" I eventually started being honest with him that whatever I had in mind, that question was likely to make it totally flee my mind leaving me at a loss for words.
Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2004, at 6:13:35
In reply to Re: I suppose I ought to ask him, posted by Poet on December 18, 2004, at 12:05:12
She probably will. When they have phrases they like, they seem to manage to work them in. :)
Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2004, at 6:16:59
In reply to Re: I suppose I ought to ask him » Poet, posted by Dinah on December 21, 2004, at 6:13:35
And realizing how difficult I make things for my poor therapist.
I rarely let him get away with standard phrases, and when I do, I usually manage to convey the fact that I know it's a canned response.
Which is not to say that I think he's full of mindless platitudes. Although to be honest, I remember a time when I did think that.
So maybe I should think of myself as being good for him instead of difficult, and as challenging and expanding his skill sets.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 21, 2004, at 18:22:05
In reply to Re: Standard phrases, posted by peacefeline on December 21, 2004, at 1:42:17
Posted by gardenergirl on December 21, 2004, at 18:25:09
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? » annierose, posted by Dinah on December 21, 2004, at 6:11:59
> Mine used to start with "What would you like to talk about today?" I eventually started being honest with him that whatever I had in mind, that question was likely to make it totally flee my mind leaving me at a loss for words.
Shoot, I use this one a lot!
gg
Posted by daisym on December 21, 2004, at 19:22:34
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on December 21, 2004, at 18:25:09
GG,
At least you don't just sit there until the client starts. I would hate that! My therapist usually asks, "how are things?" Or "How are you?" if I don't launch into something.
The worse was once he said, "I think your pre-session anxiety followed you in here. I feel it." I worried the whole session about making him anxious. I finally said "I want to say I'm sorry for making you anxious today..." He looked confused and then said, "no, I meant I could see it all over you." *sigh*
The other "standard phrase" is when he ends a phone message. I like, "I'll talk with you soon." But once he said, "OK, be well." and hung up. If I was "well" I wouldn't have called!! urg
Posted by cubic_me on December 22, 2004, at 11:06:51
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on December 21, 2004, at 18:25:09
Mine just sat there until I said something.I *hated* that with a passion - what are you meant to say? Even when I had thought of what I was going to say at that first silence, when it came, my mind went blank.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 22, 2004, at 11:17:42
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by cubic_me on December 22, 2004, at 11:06:51
Now that I think about it, I don't think mine says anything. But I never have trouble getting started. I'm a talker. I should be quiet just to see what he would do. ;)
gg
Posted by pegasus on December 22, 2004, at 13:11:03
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by cubic_me on December 22, 2004, at 11:06:51
Yeah, I dumped a therapist once for doing this. Well . . . and other things. But just sitting there looking at me goofily at the beginning of the session made me feel so inadequate somehow. I needed the little social niceties time, or some type of intro into the session to get going.
pegasus
Posted by Annierose on December 22, 2004, at 13:45:59
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by pegasus on December 22, 2004, at 13:11:03
My T says "hello" and that kind of thing, and then will usually wait for me to start. Now if she knew something specific I was doing the previous day (Thanksgiving dinner for example) she might ask "So how did it go?" That type of thing, or after I went on vacation, "How was your trip?" But normally, after our hellos, I lie down, and try to breathe slowly and try to start. If I struggle, she will then ask, "so, what are you thinking about?" or "What's on your mind today?" ... I don't think there is an easy way to start. I guess I wish she would ask a more directed question, example, "Last time when we talked, you mentioned xyz, let's explore that some more."
Posted by Dinah on December 22, 2004, at 18:45:43
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy » pegasus, posted by Annierose on December 22, 2004, at 13:45:59
Well, now that I've got him trained, he'll ask "How are you?" or "How was your weekend?", something like that. Although usually he doesn't get the chance. I'm conditioned to start speaking as soon as he sits down.
And gg, it may just be me that finds that question intimidating. What do you want to talk about makes whatever I have to say seem so optional...
Posted by annierose on December 22, 2004, at 19:49:36
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by Dinah on December 22, 2004, at 18:45:43
Dinah - When you mentioned the word "optional" it reminded me of a conversation I had with my T some time over the summer. I was struggling to talk, and she said, "this is your time, we can talk about anything you want" Well, that irritated me. I'm not there to talk about the weather, "Desperate Housewives" or the sale at the mall ... idle chit-chat. I wished she didn't say that. I did respond to something to that affect. I do find it harder to begin when we left off at something difficult the previous session. It's hard to get back to that spot. That's where I think she could help me go.
Posted by littleone on December 22, 2004, at 19:56:11
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by Dinah on December 22, 2004, at 18:45:43
> And gg, it may just be me that finds that question intimidating. What do you want to talk about makes whatever I have to say seem so optional...
Sorry gg, but I would never respond to that one either. Nothing I have to say feels important enough. But then, I don't actually respond to many prompts.
I think my T would get more frustrated with my standard phrases than what I do with his.
Fine.
Nothing.
I don't know.I really need to broaden my vocabulary.
Posted by Daisym on December 22, 2004, at 23:15:19
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy » Dinah, posted by annierose on December 22, 2004, at 19:49:36
I think you are over looking the possibility that discussing some of these other things paints a more complete picture of who you are for your therapist. I've talked with mine about weird things, like Star Trek, or boooks we've both read, or even shopping. (We were trying to figure out why grocery shopping made me sad.)
And talking about the weather -- once I said, "can't we just talk about the weather?!" He said, "sure. It has been cold. Do you think it will rain?" We persisted in this for a few minutes and I finally made a face at him and said, "fine! Uncle! Avoiding it is worse..."
Urg, Evil sometimes. :)
Posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 6:07:20
In reply to Small Talk » annierose, posted by Daisym on December 22, 2004, at 23:15:19
I suppose you are right. And we have talked about some of those more mundane things, and is has lead to some interesting conversations sometimes and sometimes not. I always have a book with me to read while I'm waiting and we have discussed that and I don't mind book talk.
This morning I woke up to at least 8 - 10 inches of snow and if she doesn't cancel our session (due to driving conditions...it keeps coming) I'll guess I will mention the weather today. I really want to go today.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 6:41:17
In reply to Re: Small Talk » Daisym, posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 6:07:20
annierose,
I wonder if we are close to each other? We've been hit with a ton of snow, too. Midwest?gg
Posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 8:36:29
In reply to Re: Small Talk, posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 6:41:17
Blizzard here. He said he'd call for a phone check-in, though. I'm disappointed b/c I had a little holiday gift for him.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 9:08:32
In reply to no therapy for me today :( » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 8:36:29
Bummer. We have a blizzard here, too, although it's finally stopped for the moment. Hubby is out shovelling (again).
If I had an appointment as usual yesterday, I'd have had to cancel it due to snow. But he's off this week. sniff sniff.
I did work on that workbook some more though, in place of therapy this week.
Do something nice for yourself, and you can always give the gift next time. It's understandable.
gg
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