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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by memoryleaves on December 20, 2004, at 0:32:04
At least, more softly than before. Things have calmed down a lot since my final EMDR. The first couple of day's after, I couldn't get my head on straight and I couldn't stop crying. Now I'm feeling a bit stronger and feeling more acceptance. My T say's I'm experiencing delayed grief. I found a helpful article about grief work so I started doing some journalling today. I'm also thinking about some ideas of how I can honor my Dad's memory.
A lot of good has come out of this, actually. The fact that I can even see that is a blessing in itself. And what a blessing indeed to finally have a connection with my Dad. It's the best Christmas gift a girl could get.
The session with my T was awfully difficult, but has turned out to be well worth it and I am grateful he could see me one last time.
Thanks to everyone who supported me when I really really needed it. I appreciate it very much.Memory
Posted by daisym on December 20, 2004, at 1:14:29
In reply to Leaves fall softly now, posted by memoryleaves on December 20, 2004, at 0:32:04
I'm so glad things are settling down for you. You were so frantic for awhile. Honoring your father's memory is important. This is a lovely time of year to do that.
I'm glad you went to see your therapist. Sometimes those really hard sessions are the most healing. Was there anything particular that he did that was helpful?
I know you are moving soon. Be good to yourself and don't push too hard. You don't want to get overwhelmed again.
(((memory)))
Posted by Aphrodite on December 20, 2004, at 6:54:19
In reply to Leaves fall softly now, posted by memoryleaves on December 20, 2004, at 0:32:04
I'm so glad to hear it!!!
Be very gentle as you work through your grief during this time of year. Do you have any spiritual practices? If so, praying or meditating or any way that you connect with a higher being might be in order if that feels right for you. I always light a candle for each person who is now gone from my life at Christmas.
Stick close to your T, even though the work is so very hard. Keep all the support systems you can.
Your story really touched me. I thought about it a lot since you posted. Let us know how you progress, OK? We're here for you.
Posted by memoryleaves on December 20, 2004, at 11:14:37
In reply to Re: Leaves fall softly now » memoryleaves, posted by daisym on December 20, 2004, at 1:14:29
(((Daisy))) thank you.
You asked if my T did anything in particular that was helpful. Yes, he did. I was pretty convinced he wouldn't be able to fit me in with the holidays fast approaching, so I expected a "no". I was also thinking he might be annoyed by me and just shut me out. While I waited for a call back, I asked my Dad if it's okay with him that I talk about him in therapy. Then I felt like, if my T calls and gives me an appointment, then it's okay with my Dad. So when I got the "yes" not an hour later, it was a pretty powerful moment. It also reminded me of how my T has always fit me in no matter what, and what a gift that is for a girl who has learned not to have any hopeful expectations in life, for a girl who never experienced a sense of consistency.
During the session itself, lot's came up, lot's of good (I had a special bond with my Dad and I got to reexperience those feelings) mixed in with the pain, and we did a lot of reinforcing of those good feelings. It was a terribly draining session that took a lot longer to recover from than usual, but I think you're right that the more difficult sessions do tend to be the more healing ones. Thanks for asking.
Posted by memoryleaves on December 20, 2004, at 11:26:30
In reply to Re: Leaves fall softly now » memoryleaves, posted by Aphrodite on December 20, 2004, at 6:54:19
What a sweet post! Thank you, Aphrodite.
I love your idea of lighting candles. I'm going to do that! I am also going to go to our old house, that my Dad helped build, on Christmas day, and sit on the curb across the street and talk to him. I've gone to the house before to visit but never felt anything. Now that I feel a connection to my Dad, I think it will be a very special time.
Thanks again for your thoughtful support.
Memory
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