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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:11:44
Last week, I wrote a sentence to my T hidden in amongst all my other normal stuff saying that so-and-so used to shove things up me. Ugh Ugh Ugh. Sorry. Bad place.
I also happened to have my period last week. I've always used tampons, but on drier days I would literally be in tears trying to use them. They only hurt a little bit, but it's the other feeling I don't like. I don't know how to explain it and I'm hoping someone else knows how to verbalise it.
You know how the nerves are different in there? Like if you scratched your skin, it feels totally different to when they scrape you for a pap smear. It's that inside scraping feeling that makes me lose it.
Anyway, it was only because the two things occurred together that I realised that maybe they were linked and I should tell my T. But I have no idea how to tell a man that when I can't even explain it properly to myself.
I guess I had two questions. 1) do all women cry and get the goobies at times when trying to use tampons? and 2) does anyone know how to describe that scraping feeling so a male T would understand?
PS I know you can use KY Jelly and whatnot so it's a bit easier, but there's no way I'm walking around work with some KY in my pocket or stored in my desk drawer. I'd be too humiliated.
Posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2004, at 15:26:25
In reply to Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so frank, posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:11:44
Hi, that sounds so unpleasant for you. Did you think of just using pads during those times?
Posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:41:39
In reply to Re: Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so frank, posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2004, at 15:26:25
I have this month because I really could not stand it at all. But they are so messy and sometimes that can set me off too.
Posted by Poet on November 21, 2004, at 16:07:17
In reply to Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so frank, posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:11:44
Hi littleone,
I feel like I'm being pinched during a pap. If I were to describe it to a man, I'd tell him to take the skin on the back of his hand and give it a light pinch.
Since what you feel isn't a pinch, but a scratch, how about *lighly rubbing the back of your hand with fine grade sandpaper?* Does that feel about right, so to speak?
I'm so sorry that your period takes you to a bad place emotionally and physically. I don't cry using tampons, but I know the dryness problem.
I wouldn't walk around with a tube of KY in my pocket, either. It's available in individual foil packets, but it's hard to get unless it's from a medical supply company. Next time you go to the doctor, ask for some, they can spare them.
Poet
Posted by daisym on November 21, 2004, at 17:01:16
In reply to Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so frank, posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:11:44
First - you should be able to tell your therapist anything without worrying about his feelings. But I agree that it would be hard to describe how certain things feel. Ultimately though, this is less significant than the fact that you find it so upsetting. THAT he will totally understand.
Practically speaking-- try using smaller tampons and changing them often, you won't be so dry. Also, you can use "glide" applicators to keep you more comfortable.
Maybe talking to yourself about the fact that you are choosing to use these, you are in control and this is not a re-enactment of previous abuse would help too.
I'm sorry things are so difficult. I hope your therapist can help.
Daisy
Posted by Shortelise on November 21, 2004, at 20:16:18
In reply to Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so frank, posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:11:44
I would say it hurts like when you've been walking in the water, and your skin is all soft and wrinkley, then you put your damp, sandy feet into your shoes.
If a man has even had a swab taken of the inside of his penis, I think he'd know just what you mean.
You can use a little vaseline instead of KY (if you do this a lot, it's a problem, but for a day or two a month in small quantity, it's ok), so a tiny face cream jar that you've washed well with hot water and soap, rinsed and dried can carry enough vaseline for your purpose. For that matter, you can carry a little pot of KY. Just make sure to take it home and wash to wash and refill it often.
Hugs
Shorte
Posted by Pfinstegg on November 21, 2004, at 21:12:38
In reply to Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so frank, posted by littleone on November 21, 2004, at 15:11:44
I'm glad you wrote about that here. I think you explained it very well, and that your therapist would want to know as much about it as you can tell him. He will understand, and it will very possibly help open the door more emotionally to talking about the csa itself. I don't know if this is true for you or not, but sometimes we can talk about those horrible experiences in such a detached manner; this may be one of the ways your mind is using to try to help you to re-connect to the emotional part of what happened to you. My T. sometimes says that everyone has a powerful drive to grow, be healthier and heal old wounds- could you look at it in that light and see if it's true?
Posted by Susan47 on November 22, 2004, at 10:43:06
In reply to Re: Tampons - csa trigger - sorry for being so fra, posted by Poet on November 21, 2004, at 16:07:17
If you can get help with the emotional side of things with a therapist, and I'll bet your male therapist can help you without you have to go into telling him the specifics of the mechanics of the thing ... I know about the dryness thing and what I do is wear a tampon until it's about loaded, then unless I know it's really slick in there I wear a minipad until I know it's wet again, then I use another tampon. I know it sounds primordial but it's the only way i've gotten around the dryness problem and still am able to wear tampons, I hate wearing pads they're way too messy but in order not to sacrifice the social comfort of tampons I've had to find a way around the physical discomfort. If you want to talk more about this in private you can babblemail or I can give you my hotmail address sweetie. This is a precious part of your body and you can wear tampons and still be respectful of your vagina, which was horribly disrespected in the past; I wish you healing.
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