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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2Chica on November 19, 2004, at 14:58:45
ok, haven't seen or talked with ANYONE since my last SA in early sept.
pushed all down, fine....but not.
"interviewed' with what seemed like 100 since. but,
Finally saw one...and talked at length with him...i actually think he "get's it" (meaning me and my processing/artistic/depth..ness)
especially after today (2nd visit-did some testing -for those interested MCMI, small IQ bty, and Rorchach-sp?)part of me is scared-TO-DEATH, to start all this over again. the other part is like YES, Finally. then of course the calm me, saying -it needs to be done, just do it-get it done and then i can move on.
So.
i think i got one. (of course this happens right around holidays...he'll be out all next week so i can't see him till week after, but then go from there. (test results and discussion of tx plan).
*******************so all is good right? i've got this NAGGING skeptic part of me that's saying he's going to hurt me. he'll rip me apart and leave me out to be open and in pain. (this is what scares me). Right at this moment i feel VERY aggressive and strong and 'know' i can handle it and pick myself back up. but i know once i (if i'm truthful) start talking i may sink back into that "state', that fuge type state of depresssion and utter despair.
Guess i'm just writing this all to vent, both happiness, fear, and...well...maybe wanting some warm fuzzy's/reassurance that starting this painful process all again is a good thing...
B2c.
Posted by annierose on November 19, 2004, at 16:11:49
In reply to think i found a new T!...Fear?!@#, posted by B2Chica on November 19, 2004, at 14:58:45
Good for you! Trust your gut and go for it. It's a bummer about the holiday happening just when you want to get started. But you'll have him for the "big one" in December. I'll keep my fingers cross.
Posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 17:27:04
In reply to think i found a new T!...Fear?!@#, posted by B2Chica on November 19, 2004, at 14:58:45
Hi B2Chica,
I think everyone in therapy has that nagging skeptic part, I sure do or I wouldn't have quit and then gone back.
Maybe you will be less afraid if you can think of other reasons why this therapist seems to be the one out of so many that you interviewed. You said that he gets your processing/artistic/depthness (hooray!) but is there anything he said or does that made you feel that he might work out?
You are strong, you are calm, and you can do it. Your next session isn't that far off, only the week after next. You'll get those test results. I've never taken any tests, you'll have to let me know if you think they're accurate.
If I can do therapy, and I just sit and stare/glare most of the time, you can do therapy. Hope that was a bit of reassurance.
Poet
Posted by Susan47 on November 19, 2004, at 23:10:46
In reply to think i found a new T!...Fear?!@#, posted by B2Chica on November 19, 2004, at 14:58:45
B2C, you do sound very strong now. It's so good to hear your aggressive side. I'm your cheerleader. I'm so sorry to hear about your SA, so very sorry. I just didn't know you were going there, at all. Were you posting, because I remember I was weird then and really sarcastic and peppy and introverted too .. but if you were posting then I remember you suddenly stopped posting after your thigh cutting .. is that right?
Posted by B2Chica on November 21, 2004, at 15:37:59
In reply to Re: think i found a new T, might be a trigger?, posted by Susan47 on November 19, 2004, at 23:10:46
wow Susan, wishh i had (literally) 1/2 the memory you have. infact it was probably a couple weeks after that SI that i made tthe attempt. (sept 7th).
-can't believe you remember that??i'm starting to head a little south right now but having major hubby trouble...so i'm fighting with strength for me cuz i'm spending it on keeping a marriage out of battle zones.
thanks SO MUCH for your support (cheerleader).Thanks Susan!
b2c.
> B2C, you do sound very strong now. It's so good to hear your aggressive side. I'm your cheerleader. I'm so sorry to hear about your SA, so very sorry. I just didn't know you were going there, at all. Were you posting, because I remember I was weird then and really sarcastic and peppy and introverted too .. but if you were posting then I remember you suddenly stopped posting after your thigh cutting .. is that right?
Posted by B2Chica on November 21, 2004, at 15:46:04
In reply to Re: think i found a new T!...Fear?!@#, posted by annierose on November 19, 2004, at 16:11:49
Posted by B2Chica on November 21, 2004, at 16:03:52
In reply to Re: think i found a new T!...Fear?!@# » B2Chica, posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 17:27:04
thnx Poet. some good ideas...i'll think aloud here abit.
1.he's a little off beat :^)
2.he understands/appreciates art
3.specialty in mood/behavior disorders.
4.spent LOT of time talking with me...(above and beyond 'alotted' time)
5.he's here in town.
6...if he says' he's willing to take me on (i am certainly a handful) then he's nuts.... good fit.
7.i like him cuz he's not afraid to share his knowledge-he explains things at a student/teacher level. i like that. doesn't just tell something, explains it.Your words...my new mantra ">>You are strong, you are calm, and you can do it."
Panic:
A WEEK AND A HALF!!!!!!!
better:
less than two weeks away!For me the testing was fun/boring. i think it'll be as accurate as any standardized testing will be. however, i'm interested to see how he scores the Rorschach (sp?).
course, then the intersting part comes. i'll allow him to get records from last T. Suprise!! lot's of stuff i may have left out...i never even touched on personal issues really, stuff i know my last T assumed (and is mostly right on) but that i've never said/admitted to. _admitted seems like such an awful word right there. We talked mostly about my Bipolar (and other dx-ptsd and BPD). i really explained BPD -in his eyes- and WOW i have totally new outlook for that dx. and looking at it his way puts NO stigma on that at all. (i guess that's another plus for the list right?)-anyway, THANKS P. that IS reassurance. (if i said "that's me to a T"- would that just be too much of a pun?)
b2c.
> Hi B2Chica,
> I think everyone in therapy has that nagging skeptic part, I sure do or I wouldn't have quit and then gone back.
> Maybe you will be less afraid if you can think of other reasons why this therapist seems to be the one out of so many that you interviewed. You said that he gets your processing/artistic/depthness (hooray!) but is there anything he said or does that made you feel that he might work out?
>
> You are strong, you are calm, and you can do it. Your next session isn't that far off, only the week after next. You'll get those test results. I've never taken any tests, you'll have to let me know if you think they're accurate.
>
> If I can do therapy, and I just sit and stare/glare most of the time, you can do therapy. Hope that was a bit of reassurance.
>
> Poet
>
>
Posted by Susan47 on November 22, 2004, at 1:14:13
In reply to Re: think i found a new T, might be a trigger?, posted by B2Chica on November 21, 2004, at 15:37:59
Actually I remember because I deeply care(d) about you, B2C. I know I was off the rails when I first came on the boards, but it wasn't any kind of a memory feat to remember you, you were going through hell and I'll never forget the image you gave of cutting.
Try to keep on the equator as much as you can, honey, try really really hard not to slip south of the equator. That's your safety line.
(((B2C)))
Yes, people, the hugs start again, but Susan no longer off the rails, listening to Tears for Fears' greatest hits and having a ball. B2C, do what you have to to feel good hon'. But no SI allowed....
Posted by antigua on November 22, 2004, at 9:55:26
In reply to Re: think i found a new T, might be a trigger? » B2Chica, posted by Susan47 on November 22, 2004, at 1:14:13
Posted by B2Chica on November 24, 2004, at 10:39:27
In reply to Re: think i found a new T, might be a trigger? » B2Chica, posted by Susan47 on November 22, 2004, at 1:14:13
This is the end of the thread.
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