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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cubic_me on November 18, 2004, at 12:01:10
I've been to 4 group sessions now (I've had to stop individual therapy) and I can feel myself going backwards. I really want group to work for me, but I don't feel comfortable talking about myself, and I don't think any discussion will get to the root of what is going on with me - what has been talked about so far is very much surface or fairly easy to work out a cause for. I can't even bring myself to talk about my med changes because it seems too taboo for now.
I feel even more withdrawn and unable to talk about my emotions now than when I began group. Maybe it will get better when we know each other better.
Posted by sunny10 on November 18, 2004, at 12:37:50
In reply to Group is making me withdraw, posted by cubic_me on November 18, 2004, at 12:01:10
try to just take it as it comes.
Perhaps "the root of feelings" might be a question you could open up to the group?
Let me know where that one goes...
Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2004, at 17:13:32
In reply to Group is making me withdraw, posted by cubic_me on November 18, 2004, at 12:01:10
Maybe some people with group experience can tell you if that feeling goes away. But I do think I understand. When it's just you and your therapist you've got a chance at working until they *get* what you're saying. It's a very intimate process. A group just can't provide the same thing. It can provide other things, but not that. Or that would be my guess based on what nontherapy group interactions I've been a part of.
I would think group would be very good at working on core relationship skills and getting honest feedback (yipes! does anyone want honest feedback?!) on how you appear to others. But I just wouldn't think it would be ideal for talking about *your* internal stuff.
As odd as it sounds, do you have a neutral someone to talk about this with? (My neutral someone is my therapist, so that's sort of a conundrum in this case isn't it?)
Posted by cubic_me on November 19, 2004, at 7:24:54
In reply to Re: Group is making me withdraw » cubic_me, posted by Dinah on November 18, 2004, at 17:13:32
Dinah, I do have my boyfriend who is great at listening, tho' I have been tending to withdraw from him a little too. I think my T thought that being in group would help me realise that people don't feel burdened if you talk to them about your 'bad' stuff - maybe that will come with time. Maybe this is my pathology, maybe not, but I think that people do feel at least a little burdened if someone tells them they are suicidal etc because of the possible concequences. And even though I'm nowhere near acting on those thoughts now, I'm not likely to tell the group I have them either - would there be any benifit for them or me?
I don't think that I really have any other major interpersonal problems that I could get feedback on in group. I'm pretty high functioning, have a good circle of friends and have grown much more confident over the last 2 years - it feels like I've got past those issues for now.
Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2004, at 7:41:33
In reply to Re: Group is making me withdraw » Dinah, posted by cubic_me on November 19, 2004, at 7:24:54
This just may be my opinion, or my limited experience, but I think therapists waaaaay overestimate how much sharing other people really want you to do. Not in group of course, but in life. Your real life friends and family probably *don't* want to hear things like that because it scares them or they don't know what to say, not because they don't care.
IMHO, that's one reason we pay therapists. I wish my parents had had therapists.
Of course, my therapist has no clue that this is true. I wonder if they only interact with each other, each emoting freely as if they were in therapy, and have no earthly idea that the real world wants to hear "just fine" in response to "how are you" - even friends and family.
Posted by sunny10 on November 19, 2004, at 8:40:48
In reply to Re: Group is making me withdraw » cubic_me, posted by Dinah on November 18, 2004, at 17:13:32
I have group experience. The most important ingredients are the participants. Sometimes its a great mix- sometimes not.
I think what your therapist wants you to see is that there are a lot of us out here. I wonder, does she know you are very active here? If not, maybe you could suggest that we are your "group", and that you'd prefer a litle one on one time. If T does know, it's possible that T thinks you could benefit by something more face to face as you've been doing so well with all of us here. Face to face IS hardest. It does, however, make you stronger. I think most T's understand that we are paying them to be ourselves without judgment. I think they want us to know that not everyone judges. That we can spend time in group and decide who can be trusted, and who not. That's an important step on its own; making that decision. And you may find that you do connect with someone there and decide to chat outside of group.
Okay, enough of my opinion on the matter...
Posted by Tabitha on November 19, 2004, at 13:01:52
In reply to Re: Group is making me withdraw » Dinah, posted by cubic_me on November 19, 2004, at 7:24:54
>I think that people do feel at least a little burdened if someone tells them they are suicidal etc because of the possible concequences.
That's your belief. Group is a chance to test it. You might find out that some people do feel burdened, but some people might have different reactions, things you couldn't even predict.If you don't want to start with telling them you're suicidal, how about telling them about your fear that they'll feel burdened if you share your problems? See what reaction you get to that.
This is the end of the thread.
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