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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by littleone on November 16, 2004, at 15:14:15
Got checkmated twice in one session. There should be a law against that.
In therapy, I sit all "wound up tight" as my T puts it. Arms crossed around in front of me. Hands up over my face. Head twisted to the side. Very tense, sometimes so tense I actually shake.
He was trying to get me to sit normal and I wouldn't. Don't feel safe.
T - But you can't talk to me all wound up like that.
Me - It would make no difference how I sat, I still wouldn't talk.
T - Riiiight, it doesn't matter how you sit.
Me - But, but, but, d*mn.CHECKMATE!!
Then we were talking about being emotionally connected and how I just don't know how to do this. I just never learnt how. I've never been emotionally connected to anyone.
T - But you were connected to me, then you stopped.
Me - No I wasn't. I never started in the first place.
T - Hmmm. Then why were you keeping photos of me in your journal and on your computer monitor?CHECKMATE!!
AGAIN!!
I hate it so much when they toss our words/actions back in our face.
I'd love to watch a World Therapist Championship where they all try to trip each other up. I haven't yet decided if I would be barracking for my T, or if whenever he slipped up, I'd yell out
"Ha! See? See? It s*cks when that happens!"
Posted by caraher on November 16, 2004, at 16:47:04
In reply to Checkmate!, posted by littleone on November 16, 2004, at 15:14:15
Interesting that you use a metaphor from a competitive intellectual game to describe what's happening. Is your goal to defeat your therapist? I mean, yes, there's that moment of being brought up short but is your therapist trying to establish his superiority over you or to help you? And do you believe your answer?
Posted by JenStar on November 16, 2004, at 17:58:21
In reply to Checkmate!, posted by littleone on November 16, 2004, at 15:14:15
do you really hate it, though? Aren't you pleased that the T knows you & psychology well enough to see thru the defenses and help you get past them?
If he couldn't do that, he wouldn't be very good, in my opinion! :)
You sound like a very analytical person since you are able to 'see' what's happening as well as be part of it. Have you decided whether to tell your T about the phone/address/obsession? It sounds like he sort of wants you to talk about it since he keeps pushing about the emotional attachment.
good luck. I think therapy is hard work. I give you kudos for having the guts to stick with it even when it gets tough. :)
take care,
JenStar
Posted by alexandra_k on November 16, 2004, at 19:14:03
In reply to Checkmate!, posted by littleone on November 16, 2004, at 15:14:15
That sounds great to me! It is hard for me to put a label on how I feel when that happens: suprised, indignant, pleased, annoyed... But that is why I go - for someone to call me on my s*it. To help me realise that it is sh*t.
Sounds like you are lucky indeed to have someone who can do that - frustrating and annoying for you too, of course :-)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on November 17, 2004, at 10:14:30
In reply to Checkmate!, posted by littleone on November 16, 2004, at 15:14:15
My T checkmates me all the time, and while it embarasses me, it also makes me feel fortunate that I have a T who I can't fool, like I fool most people.
Embrace the checkmate!
This is the end of the thread.
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