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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 19:06:12
It went really well. I'm impressed with her ability to help me sort things out on my own, without imposing her own judgments. It was intense. I spent the whole session fighting back tears. But it feels good, productive, like it's helping. (I'm not sure how yet.)I'm going to see her at least one more time, in a week. I'm not sure what I'll do after that. The logistics of this are hard to get a hold of. I'm just hoping that I start figuring stuff out and keep knowing what to do next.
I might just need to take a break from therapy. Is that possible? Would that be okay? Just wondering aloud.
Posted by annierose on November 8, 2004, at 19:32:42
In reply to Had second appt. with consulting T today, posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 19:06:12
Sounds like this has been very productive for you.
I remember from a previous thread that you are not considering this T (I'll call her T2) as a choice. But I am glad you are finding it productive. And it is okay to take a break from therapy. Good for you.
Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2004, at 19:42:36
In reply to Had second appt. with consulting T today, posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 19:06:12
Of course it's ok, if that's what feels right to you. I think you can look at what's going on in your life, and look at the resources you have available, and look at the skills you've learned, and make an evaluation of whether a break from therapy makes sense right now.
Rigby found that even with a lot going on, it felt right to go without therapy, so what's going on in your life isn't the sole criterion.
What does the consulting therapist seem to think?
Posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 19:51:24
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » crushedout, posted by Dinah on November 8, 2004, at 19:42:36
About whether I could take a break from therapy? I didn't ask about that. But maybe I will next time.
I bet when I do, she won't even tell me what she thinks, or she might not feel like she knows me well enough to even have an opinion. (She doesn't even know my age, or what I do for a living! She knows nothing about me. Weird, huh?) I think I like this about her, that she doesn't tell me what to do. I still feel like I'm finding my way somehow. She's helping me just by asking questions and being sympathetic to how hard this is.
She's actually doing a really good job, I think.
Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2004, at 19:54:06
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » Dinah, posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 19:51:24
Yes, it sounds like she is. :)
There are some good things about long term therapy, but there may be some downsides as well. You miss that fresh insight, and the astute questioning.
What was the reason you can't continue with this one?
Posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 20:02:51
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » crushedout, posted by Dinah on November 8, 2004, at 19:54:06
Well, it's not that I *can't* continue with her for certain, but there were a few reasons I didn't think she was ideal: (1) she's inconveniently located; (2) she's expensive; (3) she doesn't have any times that are good for me (I've been having to miss work); and finally (4) I didn't think I liked her enough (this might be changing -- heck, I might even fall in love with her if you give me long enough -- realizing that today was kind of a relief -- just the idea of being in love with somebody else seems like a relief).So, I haven't completely ruled it out, but it doesn't seem like the first choice.
Posted by Rigby on November 8, 2004, at 20:04:23
In reply to Had second appt. with consulting T today, posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 19:06:12
Yay!!!! So glad to hear this!
I guess I'd ask the same question that Dinah asked, have you thought about continuing with the Transition T?
About not continuing, for me it was a gut-feel and unanticipated. You just feel like you don't want to go back--not a bad feeling, just a "no thanks" feeling. And I evaluate it daily I'd say, seeing if it's gonna change. It helps to know it's there if I want to go back.
Have you thought specifically about what you want to get out of therapy? Maybe a break would allow you to gather your thoughts about if you want it and if so what you want? I know I started therapy with real specific goals in mind and only a max of maybe 3 months. Three years later my goals were a lot less clear. A break might help in that respect?
> It went really well. I'm impressed with her ability to help me sort things out on my own, without imposing her own judgments. It was intense. I spent the whole session fighting back tears. But it feels good, productive, like it's helping. (I'm not sure how yet.)
>
> I'm going to see her at least one more time, in a week. I'm not sure what I'll do after that. The logistics of this are hard to get a hold of. I'm just hoping that I start figuring stuff out and keep knowing what to do next.
>
> I might just need to take a break from therapy. Is that possible? Would that be okay? Just wondering aloud.
Posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 20:14:32
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » crushedout, posted by Rigby on November 8, 2004, at 20:04:23
Well, my goals have gotten a bit fuzzier but this whole transference issue gives me a pretty clear focus. I have lots of stuff I still need to figure out besides that. But a break to get more focused *probably* wouldn't hurt.
Posted by gardenergirl on November 9, 2004, at 0:12:11
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » Rigby, posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 20:14:32
Crushed,
Glad to hear that this T is helping, and I am overjoyed that you have taken this step! As far as whether taking a break is okay, I see pros and cons to it. I do think it might give you a time to focus and gain perspective on where you want to go next. My only concern would be if you were to feel unsupported and perhaps adrift. But that would be a worst case scenario, perhaps.Whatever you do, please keep posting. We are here for you either way.
gg
Posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2004, at 12:45:02
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » Dinah, posted by crushedout on November 8, 2004, at 20:02:51
Seeing this therapist seems to be productive for you. I'm really glad. She can help you figure out what the next step should be (go back to old therapist, stay with this one, find a new one, take a break).
Why do you *want* to fall in love with this therapist? That might be worth discussing. Oh, I get it, you mean that you can actually imagine *being* in love with someone other than your old therapist - That there might be "life" after her? That is a good direction to be going in.
My current therapist was quite a bit more expensive than my old one (150 vs. 105), but he is worth every penny... Of course, if it would mean that you couldn't eat or have a roof over your head...
Does she work during hours that are more convenient for you (i.e. is there hope for the future)? Are your work hours flexible at all?
Good luck, Crushedout! It sounds like you are doing a really good job.
Posted by crushedout on November 9, 2004, at 18:19:49
In reply to Re: Had second appt. with consulting T today » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2004, at 12:45:02
> Seeing this therapist seems to be productive for you. I'm really glad. She can help you figure out what the next step should be (go back to old therapist, stay with this one, find a new one, take a break).
Yeah, but I'm kind of freaking out because we only have one session left and so much to figure out. Well, at least we only have one session before I'm supposed to see the old T again, but I could try putting her off some more.
> Why do you *want* to fall in love with this therapist? That might be worth discussing. Oh, I get it, you mean that you can actually imagine *being* in love with someone other than your old therapist - That there might be "life" after her? That is a good direction to be going in.Yeah, that's the reason: just that I'd be so relieved to be able to fall in love with *anyone* else. Yeah, it would let me know there's life after T1, something that's been very hard for me to believe on a gut level for a very long time. I think that might bring it home, so to speak.
> My current therapist was quite a bit more expensive than my old one (150 vs. 105), but he is worth every penny... Of course, if it would mean that you couldn't eat or have a roof over your head...I guess you're right, the money shouldn't be a huge barrier. That *is* a big difference (between your Ts).
> Does she work during hours that are more convenient for you (i.e. is there hope for the future)? Are your work hours flexible at all?Oh, yeah, she does work during hours that might work for me, but not a lot of them, and one of her patients would have to switch times or something. I guess it's possible it could work out. My work hours are not really flexible, but if it's really important, I can just make them flexible. But it's a pretty big sacrifice (when I don't work, I don't get paid).
> Good luck, Crushedout! It sounds like you are doing a really good job.Thanks, falls.
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