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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 19:35:44
OK, I've begun T shopping. Falls, anyone, advice?My first question is: what questions should I ask during the first phone call?
Anything else that comes to mind that I should be thinking of I'd love to hear.
Thanks!
Posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 21:04:16
In reply to T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 19:35:44
How did you go about getting referrals?Here's what I've done so far:
(1) asked friends for good therapists/ex-therapists
(2) asked those therapists/ex-therapists (especially if they were full) for further referrals (and so on....that can be a long tree, I bet)
(3) emailed the new york lesbian therapist referral network (haven't heard back yet)
Other ideas?
Posted by fallsfall on November 5, 2004, at 7:27:08
In reply to Question #2: Getting referrals, posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 21:04:16
Hey Crushed,
Here is a post I did a while ago, sounds like you have done most of what I suggest anyway, though. The best recommendations that I got were from friends who were therapists. They understand how the patient and therapist need to "match" - and they have a sense of who you are. They also tend to know a bunch of other therapists (and what their personalities are like).
If you are still speaking to your ex-boyfriend, I would seriously ask him to make a couple of suggestions. Tell him that you are hoping that his professional expertise and personal caring for you (even if he is mad at you right now) would allow him to give you solid suggestions. Also, can he talk about how different types of therapy might work (or not work) for you?
I have two friends who are therapists (though they try very hard not to do therapy with me!) and they were both helpful. One even helped me compare the therapists I had seen to help clarify my decision.
I'll write more later... I have to go to... Therapy!
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/290414.html
Falls.
Posted by Rigby on November 5, 2004, at 13:45:10
In reply to T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 19:35:44
I'm guessing you've done the obvious Google searches like variations on "interviewing new therapist?"
> OK, I've begun T shopping. Falls, anyone, advice?
>
> My first question is: what questions should I ask during the first phone call?
>
> Anything else that comes to mind that I should be thinking of I'd love to hear.
>
> Thanks!
Posted by crushedout on November 5, 2004, at 13:45:57
In reply to Re: T shopping questions for falls and others » crushedout, posted by Rigby on November 5, 2004, at 13:45:10
no but that's a very good idea.
Posted by tryingtobewise on November 5, 2004, at 15:44:51
In reply to T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 19:35:44
Hi Crushed,
In addition to being in counseling (forever it seems like), I also work for a very popular counselor. He gets referrals from doctors a lot...especially OB Gyns, Family Practice, and on a lesser scale Internal Medicine docs. So that would be another resource. Churches/synagogues and other places of worship, often have names they suggest as well.
Good Luck!
Posted by fallsfall on November 5, 2004, at 20:56:44
In reply to Re: T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by tryingtobewise on November 5, 2004, at 15:44:51
Here is a list of questions that I collected from various places and/or made up myself. I NEVER asked all of these questions, and in fact I really only asked a couple of them. But here is a list that you can start with, just feel free to subtract and add as you want.
-What is your theoretical orientation to doing therapy? Psychodynamic, behavioral, cognitive, systemic, supportive, humanistic, existential, transpersonal? Ask them to define briefly.
-How many years have they been practicing therapy? How long privately?
-How much and what kind of specific experience have they had treating any particular problem you may be concerned about?
-Role of religion in life/therapy
-Role of sex in life/therapy (I asked this of one guy who I disliked from the first minute. His response "I don't think that sex belongs in therapy")
-What are your beliefs about how therapy should work? What do you do during sessions and what do you expect from a client during and between sessions?
-Are you available for emergencies by phone? Do you charge for phone calls?
-Do they currently have a clinical supervisor who reviews their work? For how many years? If not, why not?
-OK to work with [insert name of pdoc here]?
- Were you comfortable questioning or disagreeing with them?
-Were they insightful, being able to sense things beyond your present awareness?
-How long is a session? 45, 50, 55, 60 minutes?
-How frequent are sessions?
-What is your fee?
-Do you take insurance claims? Who files the insurance claims?
-What is the policy for cancellations, lateness, forgetting or changing appointments?
-Do you charge for an initial appointment? How much?
-What diploma and graduate degree did they receive? From which school? What year?
-Did they graduate from a specific clinical training program from their university? What was their major?
-What was their previous employment prior to private practice? Did they work in clinical agencies?
-What professional organizations are they a member of? What was the criteria for membership?
-Are you in good standing with your licensing board? Has anyone ever made a complaint against you? If so, how was it resolved?
Posted by crushedout on November 5, 2004, at 21:09:20
In reply to Re: T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by fallsfall on November 5, 2004, at 20:56:44
Wow, falls, that is such a thorough list of potential questions. This is an essential resource for therapist shoppers. Thank you so much.My reaction is I would have such a hard time asking many of these -- I'd be afraid the therapist would be totally turned off and hate me. You know what I mean?
But I think you just have the list in front of you and certain questions you have to ask, and then you see how it goes.
Posted by fallsfall on November 5, 2004, at 21:18:05
In reply to Re: T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by fallsfall on November 5, 2004, at 20:56:44
After interviewing therapists on the phone, I met with 5 personally. I (because I'm anal) wrote up summaries of each session. Here are the summaries from the best and the worst:
Therapist #2 was recommended by [pdoc]. His office is in [town far away].
I had told him on the phone that I wanted something other than Cognitive-Behavioral. He said to come down and we would see what he could do. The only thing he suggested that wasn't Cognitive-Behavioral was EMDR. So I don't know what he was talking about on the phone. I could have gotten mad and reminded him that I told him I didn't want Cognitive-Behavioral.
Other than that, I didn't get the impression that he was understanding what I was saying. He certainly didn't understand anything behind what I was saying. His pace was very slow. I felt no connection with him (the chairs were set an an angle, so it was easier not to see each other - I like them face to face better).
The ice cream on the way back was old (Butter Crunch - there were marble sized lumps of ice cream and none of the Crunch was crunchy). There was nowhere to sit out of the sun.
The drive back was on [busy highway] (need I say more?).
I think that Therapist #2 is not going to be the victor.
Therapist #3 is in [town 30 minutes away]. He was recommended by [therapist]. He does PsychoDynamic therapy (plus whatever else he needs). He has lots of experience and a really nice English accent.
He didn't waste any time talking about background, he went right to the dependency issue. Bam! No fooling around here! His questions encouraged very succinct answers. When I asked him questions he gave me just enough information, but not too much. I would say the exchange was concise.
He has a beeper on "most of the time" for emergencies. I asked if he thought I should see a man or a woman. He said "Get a good therapist". He would prefer to see me twice a week, at least to start, but that is negotiable depending on insurance etc. He is expensive and doesn't take my insurance (so my insurance would pay 80% of his fee).
He gave me the name of a book to read: "Noon Day Demon" by Andrew Solomon.
He talked about another patient of his that was dependent. As he described him I could tell that the therapist understood what I had been talking about. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I thought about [therapist].
At the end he said:
T: So, how did I do?
me: You pretty much understood my problem. (still tears from before)
T: Just "pretty much"?
me: No.........
T: More?
me: Yes.
He really did a good job. He kept the extraneous stuff out. He took my issues seriously. He made a bad deduction, and I corrected him and he kept on trucking from there. He is soft, but not mushy. His (English accented) voice is quiet, but very clear.
Ice cream was at [good ice cream store] - Peppermint Stick (the other lady helped me choose between that and Milk Chocolate Almond - she picked a "2"). Yum.
He is a good candidate.
Posted by terrics on November 7, 2004, at 9:18:52
In reply to T shopping questions for falls and others, posted by crushedout on November 4, 2004, at 19:35:44
Crushed, I have not been following posts lately. Did you stop seeing your other T.? none of my business if you do not want to answer.
If you want some info. (I believe you are the person living near me) you can e-mail me at:
dogsandcatsmany@yahoo.com
Posted by crushedout on November 11, 2004, at 23:03:31
In reply to Re: T shopping questions for falls and others » fallsfall, posted by fallsfall on November 5, 2004, at 21:18:05
Hey falls,Was the second therapist (of which you speak below) the one you have now?
Also, if so, did you have him lined up *before* you saw your former T for the last time?
crushedout.
> After interviewing therapists on the phone, I met with 5 personally. I (because I'm anal) wrote up summaries of each session. Here are the summaries from the best and the worst:
>
> Therapist #2 was recommended by [pdoc]. His office is in [town far away].
>
> I had told him on the phone that I wanted something other than Cognitive-Behavioral. He said to come down and we would see what he could do. The only thing he suggested that wasn't Cognitive-Behavioral was EMDR. So I don't know what he was talking about on the phone. I could have gotten mad and reminded him that I told him I didn't want Cognitive-Behavioral.
>
> Other than that, I didn't get the impression that he was understanding what I was saying. He certainly didn't understand anything behind what I was saying. His pace was very slow. I felt no connection with him (the chairs were set an an angle, so it was easier not to see each other - I like them face to face better).
>
> The ice cream on the way back was old (Butter Crunch - there were marble sized lumps of ice cream and none of the Crunch was crunchy). There was nowhere to sit out of the sun.
>
> The drive back was on [busy highway] (need I say more?).
>
> I think that Therapist #2 is not going to be the victor.
>
> Therapist #3 is in [town 30 minutes away]. He was recommended by [therapist]. He does PsychoDynamic therapy (plus whatever else he needs). He has lots of experience and a really nice English accent.
>
> He didn't waste any time talking about background, he went right to the dependency issue. Bam! No fooling around here! His questions encouraged very succinct answers. When I asked him questions he gave me just enough information, but not too much. I would say the exchange was concise.
>
> He has a beeper on "most of the time" for emergencies. I asked if he thought I should see a man or a woman. He said "Get a good therapist". He would prefer to see me twice a week, at least to start, but that is negotiable depending on insurance etc. He is expensive and doesn't take my insurance (so my insurance would pay 80% of his fee).
>
> He gave me the name of a book to read: "Noon Day Demon" by Andrew Solomon.
>
> He talked about another patient of his that was dependent. As he described him I could tell that the therapist understood what I had been talking about. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I thought about [therapist].
>
> At the end he said:
> T: So, how did I do?
> me: You pretty much understood my problem. (still tears from before)
> T: Just "pretty much"?
> me: No.........
> T: More?
> me: Yes.
>
> He really did a good job. He kept the extraneous stuff out. He took my issues seriously. He made a bad deduction, and I corrected him and he kept on trucking from there. He is soft, but not mushy. His (English accented) voice is quiet, but very clear.
>
> Ice cream was at [good ice cream store] - Peppermint Stick (the other lady helped me choose between that and Milk Chocolate Almond - she picked a "2"). Yum.
>
> He is a good candidate.
>
Posted by fallsfall on November 12, 2004, at 17:29:01
In reply to Re: T shopping questions for falls and others » fallsfall, posted by crushedout on November 11, 2004, at 23:03:31
Yes, the second therapist (therapist #3) is my current therapist.
I had started to look around at other therapists, and had told my old therapist that I wanted to do that. She was talking about kicking me out in a couple of months anyway (because I wasn't getting any less dependent), so this seemed fine with her. She gave me a couple of names (including him), and I got names from other people, too.
I had done the interviews and had a session with her. I was telling her what was said at the interviews, and it was while I was doing that that I realized that the reason I was looking for a new therapist was not the reason she thought I was looking for a new therapist - and that she had no idea that I had been completely miserable for 4 months. At that point, I had it narrowed down to 2 therapists. So I asked her for her opinion between the 2 therapists. Even though I was leaving, she still knew me better than anyone and I still did respect her professional judgement. She thought that he would be better than the other one.
I was incredibly upset (because clearly she had no idea what was going on with me) and tried to get her to see me sooner than the next week. But she was not willing to do that (she thought it would encourage my dependence). It was the end of the session, I told her that she didn't understand me, and I left. I then called him and made an appointment with him and he and I discussed whether I would go back to see her (which I decided not to do). So I left her a voicemail, and that was that.
So, no he wasn't quite lined up the last time I saw her, but he sort of was. I definately needed his help to decide whether to see her one last time or not.
How are things going with you?
This is the end of the thread.
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