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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lonely on October 15, 2004, at 0:37:19
My husband was recently (about 2 weeks ago) diagnosed as Bipolar II. While it was a relief to get a better diagnosis and the new med (Trileptal) seems to be better, I'm still frustrated and overwhelmed with him and what I find to be uncaring psychiatrist and therapists. Not to mention incompetent.
He was on antidepressants for 5 years - I see now that he was going more and more into rapid cycling during that time. He has extreme anger although it's mostly in the form of passive-aggressiveness. He has a history of closet alcoholism and drug abuse although I've never actually seen him use either one. He's very sneaky and outfoxed several psychiatrists and therapists. His therapist (an LMSW) told me that he didn't seem bipolar as he's always very mild mannered when he goes to therapy. As another therapist (now deceased) told me - he will never do anything that can be proven including past admitted attempts on my life.
So, I've read quite a lot on the internet and of course they suggest keeping a regular schedule, not upsetting him, making sure he takes his meds. But, hey, he needs to be confronted with his behavior and sick thinking. And that doesn't seem to be happening. Shouldn't they send us to some sort of therapy or counseling where I'm not going to be held to blame for his behavior despite his need to blame? He's so shrewd that I have refused couples counseling. I'm the opposite - tend to be very up front. He also has early stages of vascular dementia per psychiatrist and my opinion too.
I learned from Al-Anon and even open AA meetings that tough love is the way in alcoholism but in bi-polar treatment it seems to be very wishy-washy and I don't have any use for that. I really think it's important for me to keep my own schedule instead of trying to cater to his life and needs and whims. He's had 5 years of psychotheray with little improvement. My therapist tells me that his bipolarism combined with his characterology issues is a lethal combination. When will his psychiatrist and LMSW see that?
Posted by shortelise on October 17, 2004, at 12:52:35
In reply to Spouse is Bipolar - What Do I Do?, posted by Lonely on October 15, 2004, at 0:37:19
Lonely, do I ever feel for you.
When disorders are combined with substance abuse it's so hard to work with. The person has to have some desire to help him/herself, and stopping the substance abuse is the first step. It's sometimes a the prerequisite of therapists that the person stop the substance before being allowed to do therapy. Not that this info does you much good...
So, I have no advice, wixh I did, except that you take care of yourself.
ShortE
Posted by Lonely on October 17, 2004, at 19:59:25
In reply to Re: Spouse is Bipolar - What Do I Do? » Lonely, posted by shortelise on October 17, 2004, at 12:52:35
Thank you, ShortE. Even just sympathy is appreciated! And that's partly because I feel terribly alone in dealing with this.
Thankfully, he's been sober from alcohol for 5 years and illegal drugs (to the best of my knowledge) for 32 years. However, I think he liked taking the antidepressants not only for the theraputic benefit of lifting the depression but also because they put him into the manic phase ... it must be sort've like a "high." Has anyone else had any experience with this?
> Lonely, do I ever feel for you.
>
> When disorders are combined with substance abuse it's so hard to work with. The person has to have some desire to help him/herself, and stopping the substance abuse is the first step. It's sometimes a the prerequisite of therapists that the person stop the substance before being allowed to do therapy. Not that this info does you much good...
>
> So, I have no advice, wixh I did, except that you take care of yourself.
>
> ShortE
Posted by woolav on October 18, 2004, at 18:17:47
In reply to Re: Spouse is Bipolar - What Do I Do? » Lonely, posted by shortelise on October 17, 2004, at 12:52:35
Hi, just wanted to say "ive been there" I was married to a man with BP for 14 years. And it doesnt get better. At least your spouse is seeking treatment. Mine didnt. It got to the point where he was rapid cycling also and it was one extreme or the other. Like he was going to kill himself, or me (he had guns) if i left him. Then, he would get on a grandious cycle, like his new job was awesome and we would make plenty of money. Then he would quit...cycle after cycle. Once it got to the point of major paranoia and major drug abuse, i decided to leave for my saftey and my child. It was a rough go, he threatened suicide when i left and i even had to call the police who came and said they saw rope burns around his neck. But, luckly over time. He realized that he needed help (after I left) and started on meds and today he is alot better. I would never be married to him again, but he is good to our child now and she isnt afraid of his "crazy" behavoir anymore. So, anyway. for me it took a life altering decision to help him and myself. I am remarried now and alot happier. I wish you luck.
Sandy
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