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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 18:10:29
Any idea how I find a good one? I asked my primary care physician and she doesn't know anyone that she would like to refer me to.
Thanks
Pinkeye.
Posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 18:19:11
In reply to How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 18:10:29
There have been several good posts about this. There's one by Fallsfall that I need to bookmark if I ever find it again.
Perhaps you could do a google search within the site (at the bottom of this page).
I lucked into mine, and have had zero luck with the adjunct therapists I found, so I have no useful recommendations at all. Except interview several, and don't waste much time on the ones you instantly dislike. I've never found that therapists improve with further acquaintance.
Posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 18:20:41
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist? » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 18:19:11
Oh, and it might help to have some idea of what sort of therapy you want. CBT, EMDR, interpersonal, analytic. Looking up various schools of therapy and seeing which ones seem to offer what you want will probably at least help you eliminate therapists.
Posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 18:42:19
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 18:20:41
Thanks Dinah,
I don't know what these all do. Except I know I need some help in dealing with chronic pain and some help in dealing with marital stress.
I am not sure of the advantages disadvantages of all these.
> Oh, and it might help to have some idea of what sort of therapy you want. CBT, EMDR, interpersonal, analytic. Looking up various schools of therapy and seeing which ones seem to offer what you want will probably at least help you eliminate therapists.
Posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 19:50:37
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 18:42:19
Well, for example, CBT is very here and now oriented. Your therapist will only be interested in taking a history for background purposes. They won't delve deeply into your childhood except perhaps to look for clues to unhealthy ways of thinking and acting.
You'd probably get some behavioral techniques for managing the pain, visualization, breathing maybe. And you'd be taught ways to challenge any dysfunctional thoughts you might have.
The same would go for marital problems. There would probably be concrete suggestions and homework.
It's a very rational and solution focused therapy. Is that the sort of thing you're looking for? Or would you be more interested in something less structured?
Posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 20:00:06
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist? » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 19:50:37
Thanks a lot Dinah.
Actually from what you say, I think my previous therapist is probably CBT. And it did help me immensely. But now, I guess I don't need CBT. I know all the actions that I can do. I guess I just need someone to vent. The person should not become tired of hearing the same issues and same complaints over and over again and not being able to do anything about it. That is the kind of therapy that would help me now. If I go to CBT, I think they may become frustrated after sometime or not interested in hearing the same thing again and again.
Which therapy would help with that?
Pinkeye.
> Well, for example, CBT is very here and now oriented. You therapist will only be interested in taking a history for background purposes. They won't delve deeply into your childhood except perhaps to look for clues to unhealthy ways of thinking and acting.
>
> You'd probably get some behavioral techniques for managing the pain, visualization, breathing maybe. And you'd be taught ways to challenge any dysfunctional thoughts you might have.
>
> The same would go for marital problems. There would probably be concrete suggestions and homework.
>
> It's a very rational and solution focused therapy. Is that the sort of thing you're looking for? Or would you be more interested in something less structured?
Posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 20:16:48
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 20:00:06
You'll want the name of my therapist. (grin)
Not that he doesn't get annoyed from time to time, or frustrated at hearing the same thing over and over, but it passes quickly. He's immensely patient and understands that change is sometimes glacial with clients like me. But he does note the change as it occurs.
It sounds like pretty standard interpersonal type therapy to me. Anyone who says they're eclectic, or interpersonal, or something like that. Not someone who says they're strictly CBT.
And if that's what you want, therapist "fit" will be the most important factor. Interview interview interview. Find someone you like. And be upfront about what you hope therapy will be.
Posted by fallsfall on September 8, 2004, at 20:52:42
In reply to How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 18:10:29
Here is an old post that I did on finding a new therapist. There was another one maybe 6 months before this that was more detailed, but I didn't bookmark it... Hope this helps.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/290414.html
Posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 20:55:35
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 20:16:48
Thanks Dinah. I will look for interpersonal or eclectic.
Pinkeye
Posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 20:56:36
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist? » pinkeye, posted by fallsfall on September 8, 2004, at 20:52:42
Thanks fallsfall.
It was very informative.
Pinkeye.
Posted by fallsfall on September 8, 2004, at 21:39:59
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist?, posted by pinkeye on September 8, 2004, at 20:56:36
Here's another link you might find helpful:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286265.html
Posted by pinkeye on September 9, 2004, at 17:08:17
In reply to Re: How do I go shopping for a therapist? » pinkeye, posted by fallsfall on September 8, 2004, at 21:39:59
My last T was perfect for me. But he is in another country and not really able to help me much through emails and phone calls. And my chronic pain and marital issues are very difficult to deal with myself.
But I totally hate going to someone here. I even asked for referrals but now I am thinking I will just not go. But I don't want to keep bugging my old T through emails. Poor guy he has replied for two years and is not really able to do it anymore. But I so hate to go to someone new and tell everything all over. Plus shopping for a therapist is hard too. I haven't got any good referrals from my primary care physician and the other doctor.
What to do?
Pinkeye
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 17:48:57
In reply to I don't want to go to a therapist, posted by pinkeye on September 9, 2004, at 17:08:17
I would give you the advice I won't take myself; start the process of finding someone you like. My biggest bugaboo is money; I just don't have any. If you're "bugging" your old T you probably still need to work through some stuff. If you can afford to, find someone new.
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 17:51:21
In reply to Re: I don't want to go to a therapist » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 17:48:57
Or not; I don't know what the he** I'm talking about. I just found therapy and its aftermath so painful and I wouldn't want to go anymore, I couldn't expose myself to that again either. I'm sorry, I wasn't any help. :(
Posted by pinkeye on September 9, 2004, at 18:10:27
In reply to Re: I don't want to go to a therapist » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 17:48:57
Thanks Susan. Yeah, I feel bad to be bugging my old T still. And he has told me everything he knows.
I don't really need any counsellor now, I jsut need a happy marriage and a husband I like. But that is hard, so I am going to substitute a counsellor :-(
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 20:11:24
In reply to Re: I don't want to go to a therapist, posted by pinkeye on September 9, 2004, at 18:10:27
What do you mean, can you tell me more? Of course you can ignore me and I won't be hurt, I'm pretty tough. I think.
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 20:17:53
In reply to Re: I don't want to go to a therapist » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 20:11:24
I had a marriage that had so much frustration and anger it wasn't worth it, especially because the kids were getting personality problems because of it. I was terrified of leaving and waited until I was pretty much squashed like a bug, but looking back it was a good decision. Now I actually see some positive qualities in my soon-to-be ex. (Isn't there a word that equals fiance, in reverse?) I could never be with him again though; it was a mistake from the beginning. I knew that but I just couldn't face being alone again. Now I am but because we're friends it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I just need a new life. I can't believe how much of *me* was wrapped up in the day-to-day marriage. And how much of *me* was just surviving, not living.
Posted by pinkeye on September 9, 2004, at 21:02:49
In reply to I'm going to go first here okay?, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 20:17:53
Thanks Susan.
My marriage has been pretty rocky from the beginning (it has been about 3 years now). And I am not very happy about it. He is into some religious cult and it is very difficult for me to digest. But he is a good man and affectionate towards me and I am affectionate towards him as well. But I am not very happy in the marriage. But I don't have any courage to leave the marriage and try to find someone again and go through the whole process :-(
Posted by Susan47 on September 10, 2004, at 13:00:12
In reply to Re: I'm going to go first here okay?, posted by pinkeye on September 9, 2004, at 21:02:49
I went through a lot of fear but having a therapist at the same time is what got me through and gave me the courage to leave my unhappy marriage.
Your husband being interested in a religious cult sounds like a major problem, I mean it could cause a huge rift in any relationship if both parties don't feel the same way. I know it causes problems in friendships, I've been through that; it would be really really hard in a marriage, I mean, this is a person you're supposed to feel at *one* with. Oh gosh. I'm so so sorry, I hope it gets better. Maybe one of you will open up to the other in a way that helps you understand each other better? There must be a reason your husband's interested in a "cult" .. BTW why do you say it's a cult? I'm not really very up on cults. (((pinkeye)))
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