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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by thewrite1 on July 27, 2004, at 17:17:25
I've reached a point in my therapy where I'm not sure I should still be going. I feel okay most of the time. There's no real issues at play. I simply don't want to quit. I'm wondering if that itself is a reason for me to stay? Anyone have experience with that? I've heard that when the time is right, termination shouldn't be painful. Right now it would destroy me. Then again I feel bad for wasting her time if that is what I'm doing.
Posted by Susan47 on July 27, 2004, at 22:25:40
In reply to Should I go or should I stay?, posted by thewrite1 on July 27, 2004, at 17:17:25
Sorry, but did I read you right? "Wasting" her time? You're paying her mortgage!
If it would destroy you to quit, then don't. That says you're not ready. Maybe some issues you need to deal with are just extremely difficult to bring into the open.
It's hard to keep up the intensity of deep self-reflection; sometimes you need to be a bit laid back.
Just a thought. Don't worry too much.
Posted by lookdownfish on July 28, 2004, at 4:04:10
In reply to Should I go or should I stay?, posted by thewrite1 on July 27, 2004, at 17:17:25
I feel exactly the same way, and have done for a couple of months. I love my therapist and the thought of leaving her appalls me. But I'm basically a lot better these days and don't have so many issues. So it seems wrong to stay in therapy just because I'm attached to her and don't want to leave her. I also just don't know what to do with the sessions, because I don't know what to talk about and it all seems like a waste of time. I talked to her about leaving and she said aren't you curious about yourself, don't you want to dig deeper, and these kinds of things. She said the therapy I had had so far was the equivalent of a sticky plaster, implying that it is just superficial. So I feel a bit manipulated and boxed in, she has made me feel like leaving would be a failure rather than a good thing.
How do you cope when you have a break from therapy? We're on a long (6 week) break at the moment so I guess it's a good experiment to see how I cope without her. I'm also trying to establish what exactly it is I want to get out of therapy - I need to answer that question before assessing whether its time to finish.
Posted by Poet on July 28, 2004, at 14:08:59
In reply to Should I go or should I stay?, posted by thewrite1 on July 27, 2004, at 17:17:25
Hi thewriteone,
How often are you going? Maybe you could taper off slowly? Go every other week or once a month until you feel ready to not go at all?
Just a thought.
Poet
Posted by thewrite1 on July 28, 2004, at 17:10:16
In reply to Re: Should I go or should I stay?, posted by lookdownfish on July 28, 2004, at 4:04:10
Sometimes breaks are hard and sometimes not. If it's only for a week or even two, I'm cool with it, but longer breaks are harder. I had a three month gap earlier this year and that was really hard. I think if I know I'm going to see her then it's easier. Knowing that I may not be going back is too hard. I really start to freak out.
Posted by thewrite1 on July 28, 2004, at 17:11:07
In reply to Re: Should I go or should I stay?, posted by Susan47 on July 27, 2004, at 22:25:40
Posted by steelmagnolia25 on July 30, 2004, at 8:17:26
In reply to Re: Should I go or should I stay? » lookdownfish, posted by thewrite1 on July 28, 2004, at 17:10:16
Taking a long break is understandably awful. I like Poet's suggestion...start tapering off very slowly, i.e. if you currently go weekly then either start going biweekly or if that's too tough, just select one week a month when you don't meet or just check-in via phone. This is also easier if you both agree that the door is always open in case you begin to feel worse.
I personally think that termination should be a process of "weaning" and should happen at a very slow pace determined by the person's comfort level. It can take many months or a year...
This is the end of the thread.
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