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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
At the moment, it would appear that the board should be renamed Psychobabble Fires. :) I for one would like to diversify a bit. (Which is not to say the topic of you isn't fascinating, fires. Just that therapy is as well.)
My therapist is off on a work assigment till tuesday. he says i can call him but he won't get to me till late. He let me talk about inconsequential matters on our last session before he left. A bonding session. Do y'all prefer to be very superficial before a vacation or break?
Posted by AuntieMel on July 23, 2004, at 12:04:37
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
Superficial before a break is good - and it helps make the off time bearable.
I recently took a (due to other things - mom's medical tests) break myself. We usually meet every week, but I only could squeeze one session in last month. And with all else going on it was less than productive.
Yesterday was my first day back, and I made it a bonding session too. I told him I didn't want to get into anything personal because of trust issues and that I needed to work back into it after such a long time.
So, motivated by this board, I brought up the issue of transference. I told him that it seems to be a bit issue for a lot of people and asked if I'm missing something and did it mean I wasn't "involved" enough in therapy for it to work. That topic got us going for a good while, followed by talk of different therapy models/methods.
It was actually pleasant.
Posted by Susan47 on July 23, 2004, at 12:14:49
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
I felt I was being hurt too much by the transference; I broke off with my psychologist. It actually was easier than seeing him, although I do miss him.
He did help me trust a bit more (although I never fully trusted *him*) and that's a good thing. I can see my progress when I interact personally with others, and that's very nice. He has helped, but there was a point where transference became a liability for me.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 23, 2004, at 12:16:56
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
Well, this is not very intersting but my Therapist did say that he cared about me yesterday. We were discussing a sexual assualt I experienced in college (for the first time) and discussing my hatred of the perpetrator and how do I get past the hate, etc.
I can't quite remember the context, but he said something to the effect of "I don't care about him. He isn't my patient. I care about you."
Granted, this is nothing monumental, but I have been smiling more because of it. And I'm sure he meant it in a generalized way as in he cares equally for all of his patients, etc. But still, it was good to hear.
Posted by daisym on July 23, 2004, at 12:58:21
In reply to slightly interesting story, but, not really, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 23, 2004, at 12:16:56
Miss Honeychurch,
I think he meant he cared about YOU. Why shouldn't he? I'm glad you are smiling.
I had a nice experience this morning. I'm struggling with feeling 12ish (even though I'm in my business suit and red shoes) and feeling vulnerable to stress and hurt feelings. My therapist called a little while ago and while we were talking he asked if a particularly difficult person was here today at the office. I said yes and she was making me miserable. He swore, "damn her!" and then offered to call the front desk and leave a message that a pipe had broken in her apartment and she needed to leave right away and fix it! He made me laugh...but it was really nice to have him so firmly on my side.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 23, 2004, at 13:06:25
In reply to Re: slightly interesting story, but, not really, posted by daisym on July 23, 2004, at 12:58:21
Wow! What a cool T!
And red shoes???? You can conquer the world in red shoes!!! I'm too afraid to wear them!
Posted by jane d on July 23, 2004, at 13:12:08
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
> My therapist is off on a work assigment till tuesday. he says i can call him but he won't get to me till late. He let me talk about inconsequential matters on our last session before he left. A bonding session. Do y'all prefer to be very superficial before a vacation or break?
Dinah,
I haven't had enough experience with vacations to know but your question made me wonder if this was related to the frequency of visits - once or twice a week. I often walk out of a session feeling that it has been quite superficial and that it was my doing. And then jumping into the rest of my day. And I remember walking out, especially in the beginning, with a horrified feeling of "how am I going to make it thru a whole week". Or even the rest of the day. And the rest of the day was often a washout. Hmm. Perhaps those two are related.Jane
Who is now wondering about impact of time of day, or day of the week, especially in conjunction with work obligations.
Posted by jane d on July 23, 2004, at 13:17:09
In reply to Re: Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by AuntieMel on July 23, 2004, at 12:04:37
> So, motivated by this board, I brought up the issue of transference. I told him that it seems to be a bit issue for a lot of people and asked if I'm missing something and did it mean I wasn't "involved" enough in therapy for it to work. That topic got us going for a good while, followed by talk of different therapy models/methods.
It sounds nice. It makes me think I should start a conversation like that of my own. I'm especially curious about what he said about transference. I'm not convinced that it's a healthy thing to cultivate but since I don't seem to experience it (and don't want to) I may not be the best person to judge that.
Jane
Posted by Poet on July 23, 2004, at 13:22:41
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
I'm armed with the garden hose to put out any fires.
My new insurance will hopefully cover some of my therapy. Today she gave me all the paperwork for it and the official patient info. from the clinic (which I never had because I paid her by check, so the clinic itself didn't have any personal info. on me.)
I got to the part on goal setting and burst out laughing. She said, maybe we should do that part next week. I've got a week to think of goals. I don't think getting done with therapy counts. Any ideas?
Poet
Posted by Klokka on July 23, 2004, at 14:07:40
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
I definitely prefer a session to be superficial before a break - even a week in between appointments seems like almost too much time to stew over any serious issues, and two or three can make it almost unbearable. My pdoc is leaving for five weeks soon, and our last session before the break is next Thursday. I'm not even sure I know of any subject superficial enough for that!
I saw him yesterday, and it was a bit of an odd session. Nothing big happened, but it was all the little things which added up, and the fact that it started off that way. I had all four wisdom teeth out last Friday, so my cheeks are still somewhat swollen. (Only I don't notice because, after spending three days looking as though I'd had tennis balls sewn into my face, why would I? But other people tell me they're swollen.) My pdoc is normally very laid back, but as soon as I sat down and he noticed my cheeks, he freaked out. He rushed over to have a look at them and tried to encourage me to go see the surgeon right after our appointment until I told him that the swelling was going down and wasn't really a cause for concern. Then he asked me whether I walked all the way to the clinic for appointments and seemed surprised when I said that I took a bus partway. After that, we discussed the previous session (a difficult one) and it was strange to hear him say that I seemed really involved when I remember being horribly distracted and grateful when it was time to leave. Thankfully, after that things went back to "normal," and the only other odd thing was that I met the therapist who's covering for him on his vacation and she looks almost exactly like my tenth grade French teacher.
Wow, that was way too much rambling. I figure as long as it can be harnessed for next session, all will be well. (On the other hand, watch me get upset and end up crying for the first time ever in therapy. Now that would make for an interesting session! At least then my pdoc would believe me when I say I cry too easily.)
A bit of a random question, but is anyone here really easily offended by their T? I grew up with a father who curses at the drop of a hat and never really did censor himself, so I'm used to that and seldom think much of it, but yesterday I was really disgusted with my pdoc when he did it while commenting on how swollen my cheeks were. Is that sort of thing normal?
Posted by AuntieMel on July 23, 2004, at 14:26:49
In reply to Re: What did he say about transference? » AuntieMel, posted by jane d on July 23, 2004, at 13:17:09
Gee, what did we talk about. I've slept since then. hhhhmmmmm.............
It was actually a theoretical conversation, not how it applies to me - since I don't experience it.
Well, I told him (in a general since, and without giving away babble) that I'd heard of quite a few that became very attached to their therapist. And that it seemed (to me) that it would make progress more difficult.
So, I asked him for his thoughts on the matter. He said that it hadn't been much of a problem for him, as his style of therapy doesn't really encourage it. His style is more to let the client bring up topics and discuss them, and then discuss the various aspects of a problem (feelings, past feelings, options, etc.) It's kind of like cognitave without the behaviour bits. He did say that if it happened he would handle it carefully and certainly not encourage it, because the idea is to get the client ready to leave.
I also told him that not all the talk was about attachment, but there was also negative transferrence. And I believe it even came up here that some counselors *use* negative transferrence to help the clients. He seemed rather interested in that as a concept.
We pretty much just tossed around the phenomenon and it's pros and cons. But actually it was the most relaxed feeling I've ever had in there, so it did some good after all.
Posted by Susan47 on July 23, 2004, at 15:59:37
In reply to Re: slightly interesting story, but, not really, posted by daisym on July 23, 2004, at 12:58:21
You're a lucky girl. It sounds like you have a good, balanced relationship with your T. Can you tell me how you get there?
Posted by gardenergirl on July 23, 2004, at 17:51:50
In reply to slightly interesting story, but, not really, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 23, 2004, at 12:16:56
Miss Honey,
In whatever context, I would be delighted to hear that from my T. I'm happy for you that you did.Take care,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on July 23, 2004, at 17:56:40
In reply to Re: Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Poet on July 23, 2004, at 13:22:41
Hi sweetie, I am armed with the garden hose, too, but because I am furious with my hubby at the moment. I actually broke the sprinkler!!! Would you believe it doesn't like being flung across the yard a few times?
Nice to see you here. I love your story about goal setting. My supervisor was always asking me what my goal for the session was when we would talk about clients. I always said, "uh, to be present." He wanted something more specific, darn that CBT man!
Take care,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on July 23, 2004, at 18:03:48
In reply to Hi daisym, posted by Susan47 on July 23, 2004, at 15:59:37
Well, my T today said that men are stupid, but not himself, of course! LOL. Okayyyyyyy.
But then we were talking about the current issue with my hubby. And I tend to agree. Hubby is clueless in this matter. Either that or maliciously cruel. sniff sniff
mabye I'll post about it, but right now it's too raw, and we are not speaking except to snipe.
Take care all,
gg
Posted by DaisyM on July 23, 2004, at 18:51:25
In reply to interesting therapy story, posted by gardenergirl on July 23, 2004, at 18:03:48
GG,
Sorry about the spat with your hubby. My therapist reminds me all the time that men need training, especially husbands and sons. He includes himself here.
So if yours doesn't have a clue, he just needs more training.
Fortunately, men are typically pretty trainable. They just need intermittant reinforcements. Like dinner.
Posted by Poet on July 23, 2004, at 23:29:42
In reply to Poet!, posted by gardenergirl on July 23, 2004, at 17:56:40
Hi GG,
They just don't make sprinklers like they used to. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the force it was flung with.
I think I'll tell my T that one of my goals is not to set goals. The word sends flashbacks to the torture of employee evaluations of jobs past. Scary.
I left four year old me and 14 year old me with my T, but I can mentally grab the little one back. Your inner child is welcome to come over and run through the sprinkler. Just send her on over.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 23, 2004, at 23:31:12
In reply to Re: Poet!, posted by Poet on July 23, 2004, at 23:29:42
Posted by gardenergirl on July 24, 2004, at 11:58:21
In reply to Re: Poet!, posted by Poet on July 23, 2004, at 23:29:42
Now that sounds like fun! I'm on my way...
Thanks,
ggPS, does it help, you think, that I already bought a new one?
Posted by Racer on July 25, 2004, at 13:53:23
In reply to slightly interesting story, but, not really, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 23, 2004, at 12:16:56
Don't be too sure that he meant it in a general way, or just as a professional statement of where his professional interest was focussed.
When I was teaching, I cared about most of my students. Not as a professional, "Oh, of course I care", part of the job. I, personally, liked and cared about most of my students. I don't mean that I wanted to bring them all home to dinner, just that their victories made me happy, their struggles concerned me, I was *involved* with them, emotionally, on a personal level. Most of them had weekly lessons, and I might not think much about them in between unless there was something specific going on, but as soon as they showed up, I was as excited to see them as they were to see me. (Frankly, I think it was that genuine affection and involvement on my part that made me as good as I was, kids -- and, to a lesser extent, adults -- recognize that sincerity.)
So, when your therapist says he cares about you, it probably doesn't mean the same thing it might mean to you, but I suspect it does mean exactly what he says: he cares about you. Doesn't mean any more -- no dinners at Outback ;-) -- but it doesn't mean any less, either. I think if you ask any professional who works with people in any setting that involves a high level of interpersonal interaction -- teaching, therapy, even tax prep or credit counseling -- you'll find that most of the people who do it well will tell you about the same thing I just did. We really and truly do care deeply and personally about our 'people.'
(And I'd love to hear that from a therapist I trusted -- or from Dr EyeCandy. You're a fortunate woman.)
Posted by fallsfall on July 25, 2004, at 22:56:33
In reply to Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately?, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2004, at 11:51:21
My therapist is on vacation for 2 weeks. I saw him on Friday and wrote this:
My therapist and I had a nice session today. I had a dream last night about my daughter and about his vacation. We talked about that. We also talked about when I was little and my parents would go out (each to their own meeting, on a weeknight) we would have a babysitter. I was probably 3. I liked to look out my window before I went to sleep. The house is L shaped, and from my window I could look into the kitchen and through the kitchen into the living room. When my parents were home I would see them. When they weren't home, I found comfort in looking out the window to the place where they usually were. We had a witch old lady babysitter. I swear she sat at the top of the stairs. She must have listened for the sheets rustling because I didn't even get to the floor before she yelled at me to get back into bed. I wasn't trying to be bad. I was just looking for a little comfort. The same thing applies to looking my first therapist up on the internet.
I told my therapist that I appreciated him letting me know that he would be sailing - that was like giving me permission to look out the window. I asked if his kids were going - no, but one might join them for a couple of days. I talked about how it was sad for me when the kids didn't go on vacation with me anymore. Sailing for him is like skating is for me - it is a passion. Even when I'm not skating, it is still a passion. He agreed that it was a passion for him, and he wasn't likely to give it up soon. I'm really glad that he will be doing something that he really likes. I would think that 2 weeks on the ocean with his wife would be very peaceful, she seems like a nice person.
I verified that I have his cell phone number. He reminded me (which I knew) that sometimes he has no cell phone service, so it could be a couple of days before he could call back. He doesn't expect me to need to call, neither do I, but having the number is like having permission to look out the window.
He said something along the way about talking to my parents the next morning about how it was hard to go to sleep when the babysitter wouldn't let me look out the window. I know I never told them about it. My mother knew I didn't like that babysitter, but I'm pretty sure she didn't know why. His point was that now I can talk these "traumas", and that can make it easier.
He's leaving tomorrow and will be back probably Aug 9 (Saturday). That gives him a day or two in case he has trouble getting back before my next appointment.
It was a nice session.
He'll have a good time, and I'll be OK. I am sad.
We talked about the hospital - I told him which one I would go to. We both agreed that I would only need that if something really unforseen happened. But he wouldn't be mad if I needed to go. I tried to explain that I was less interested in staying for a long time than I have been in the past, but there really wasn't time to go into that in detail.
He looked happy to be ready to go.
Given the turmoil we've been having for the last month or more, I was really glad that we could pull together before he left. I wouldn't say that this was talking about superficial stuff - but it seems to have prepared me well for his vacation.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 26, 2004, at 15:49:54
In reply to Re: slightly interesting story, but, not really » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Racer on July 25, 2004, at 13:53:23
Racer,
That was great to hear from your perspective. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by rs on July 26, 2004, at 19:54:51
In reply to Re: Anyone had interesting therapy stories lately? » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on July 25, 2004, at 22:56:33
Hi Falls. That was a nice session. Remember I am here for you if you need anything. Thinking of you.
This is the end of the thread.
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