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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on June 14, 2004, at 16:32:24
In reply to Where to go next with therapy?, posted by littlep24 on June 14, 2004, at 15:28:37
Originally posted by littlep24 6/14/04
> Therapy is suppose to be such an integral part of getting better, especially when you are on the depressive side, which I am. However, I have been in therapy for over 10 years with different talk therapists and am basically in the same place. I worry about the most ridiculous things, who is going to talk to me today, they think I am weird, I am nervous to talk to people because they won't like me. If people have a differing opinion then me I don't know how to live with it and move on I stew over it. For example, the other day I was talking with another mother at a birthday party and she said how she was looking to rent a house and none of them had central air and how could anyone live without it. I came home and told my husband this story and he said so what? Who cares? I don't know why I do. I dwell on this sh*t and much more. I am not materialistic in any way however nothing is ever good enough for me and I just do not understand myself. I have been told by numerous therapists that I am fighting the system that is trying to help me which really upsets me seeing as how I have put my family in debt with therapy and meds. I feel like I can't try any harder. They also tell me since I have been depressed for so long it is easier to be in this place than to be happy. No way is it easier being happy is a dream to me.
Posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 5:04:32
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » littlep24, posted by Dinah on June 14, 2004, at 16:32:24
Dinah,
There was no message attached.
Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2004, at 16:03:29
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » Dinah, posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 5:04:32
Sorry, I had just redirected it here to the therapy board, where Dr. Bob prefers therapy discussions and where hopefully you'll get plenty of feedback from therapy veterans.
Do you really not see any improvement after ten years? I'm at nine years now, and it certainly sometimes seems as if I'm no different. But if I look back on things I wrote then and now, and really think about it, I can see a big difference. I suppose it's up in the air as to whether the changes are good or bad. :)
I can't believe that your therapists have told you those things. It hardly seems therapeutic or helpful. What sorts of therapy have you had, do you know? Have you felt like you had a good therapeutic alliance with any of your therapists?
Posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 16:58:48
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » littlep24, posted by Dinah on June 15, 2004, at 16:03:29
I have only had talk therapy and there are times I seem to think I have a good relationship but it becomes soured when I do not feel any different. For the things they tell me it hurts so bad but then I rack my brain trying to see if it is true. The best way to put it is I can talk the talk (about trying to feel better) but never walk the walk. It is so discouraging.
Posted by pegasus on June 15, 2004, at 17:17:16
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » Dinah, posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 16:58:48
Maybe what they meant about depression being easier is that after being depressed for a long time, the neurons in our brains can change so that the neural pathways to depression become stronger than the neural pathways to happiness. It's not the same thing as depression being more enjoyable, but it might be the pattern that your brain uses by default at this point.
The type of therapy that I hear about most in terms of dealing with chronic depression is Cognitive Therapy. Have you ever worked with a therapist who does cognitive therapy? It is a type of talk therapy. It isn't fun or easy, but I've done it for major depression and it was very helpful for me. The hardest part, I think, is being willing to challenge the types of thoughts that I have that lead me down the path to depression. Usually cognitive therapy starts by having you recognize what those thoughts are. For me, that was really tough, because I didn't even notice that I was having the thoughts. They were such an internal part of my everyday experience.
I don't know if this helps. If you've been doing therapy for 10 years then you might already know this stuff. But maybe it's a place to start a useful discussion anyway.
- pegasus
Posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 17:42:49
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy?, posted by pegasus on June 15, 2004, at 17:17:16
Pegasus,
Any thoughts are helpful. I have not tried that type of therapy though I have heard about it. I believe I am halfway there because I am so aware of what my issues are now I just have to retrain my brain as you have said. No one has ever explained it to me like that and it makes more sense. Do you do homework in your therapy? How do you see it differing?
Posted by terrics on June 15, 2004, at 18:08:02
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » littlep24, posted by Dinah on June 14, 2004, at 16:32:24
Hi Dinah, Hope this is not an offensive question, but from reading your post it seems you may have some OCD. I do not know how to explain what I am 'hearing'. Maybe it is the rumination over many things. Do you see any possibility in it?
You are wonderful on this board...like a professional. I really admire you. You have great insight and I think you truly care.
Hope you DO feel better. terrics
Posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 18:28:45
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » Dinah, posted by terrics on June 15, 2004, at 18:08:02
Terrics,
I think you are actually talking about my original long winded post regarding my history. I did have one pdoc who felt I was OCD due to the rumination, however, the others feel that it is due to the bipolar because I really have running thoughts in combination with the rumination. I myself am not sure who is right.
Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2004, at 20:32:15
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » Dinah, posted by terrics on June 15, 2004, at 18:08:02
Hi Terrics. I was actually just redirecting littlep24's post from the medication board, which makes it show as my post. But I do in fact have OCD, although I think it's largely under control at the moment, thank heavens.
Thanks for the kind words. :)
Posted by pegasus on June 15, 2004, at 22:12:58
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy? » pegasus, posted by littlep24 on June 15, 2004, at 17:42:49
Hi litttlep24,
I'm not really doing cognitive therapy at the moment, but when I was, I did do a lot of homework. When I would notice the irrational negative thoughts, I would do these diagrams that helped me to see where my logic broke down, and what a more positive, rational thought would be. After a while I could do them in my head, and now it's pretty close to second nature. Sometimes.
I can't really answer your question about how it differs, because I'm not sure what you're asking. Cognitive therapy differs in lots of ways from other types of therapy, but maybe the main thing is in how it focuses on thoughts that are happening right now, rather than in what went on in your childhood, etc.
Personally, I liked it better when I was doing a more psychodynamic (like most talk therapy) approach, with cognitive therapy mixed in. Because I *wanted* to explore where this stuff came from, and not only how it was irrational and unhelpful. Also, some cognitive therapists seem to not believe so much in the importance of the therapeutic relationship, which feels really critical to me. But that's just me. The studies that show cognitive therapy working well for depression usually study a straight CT approach.
I wish you a lot of luck in whatever comes next for you. Your original post sounded really painful. I hope that you are able to find some relief.
pegasus
Posted by littlep24 on June 17, 2004, at 0:34:46
In reply to Re: Where to go next with therapy?, posted by pegasus on June 15, 2004, at 22:12:58
Pegasus,
Thanks for the follow up. Yes, it all is very painful for all of us, some more than others. I just keep chugging along. Some day the pain will subside.
This is the end of the thread.
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