Shown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Somaticide on June 5, 2004, at 21:31:54
Hi shadows. I don't know what the word "dissociative" means that you used on your response to the Somatazation Disorder thread.
As I read your response, don't take this wrong, but I began to feel very unsettled - like your message disturbed something inside of me.
Is theray the only cure? Did it cure you? You talked about a child being inside of me, having a story to tell. Suddenly I feel very anxious, really uptight. Please explain how someone else can be inside of me. Is it like a demon? If it has a story to tell I am afraid to hear it.
I want to get better. It is hard on my husband.
Posted by shadows721 on June 6, 2004, at 2:51:56
In reply to Q for shadows721 what does dissociative mean?, posted by Somaticide on June 5, 2004, at 21:31:54
Dissociation has many levels. Everyone does it at some level like daydreaming. However, what I am talking about in your case is a deeper level of dissociation. Now, there is to the extent of dissociation identity disorder or formally multiple personality disorder. I can't not dx you with that, but I do feel you split off part of your personal abuse history and it is replaying with the somatic compliants. I feel that several of the somatic complaints are classic sign of abuse hx.
I feel that since you have so much somatization (like I) it is a form of dissociation. In other words, your body is telling what couldn't be told back then. The body never forgets. A part of you (the part that went through the abuse) wants you to know what they went through. This is still you, but a part that is completely shut off due to painful memories. It is still all you.
I feel that this anxiousness you talk about is that child within. There is still a very scared child deep with in. The one that went through all this stuff is hiding under the mask of these symptoms. Fear is the reason for the split. I have been in t on and off for 11 years now. I thought at first this was a just remember and it's over type of thing it isn't that at all. It's all about self discovery and honoring you and what you went through. These symptoms will abate as the memories surface.
I will be more than happy to answer any questions you have. No one told me all this 11 years ago. I had to find it out own my own. I looked up dissociation years ago and those definitions never really made since to me, because I didn't use the same terminology as those med books. I feel based on your symptoms that you dissociated (forgot or blacked out) memories of abuse. In other words, it was a way to escape the abuse. What is to painful to remember - we chose to forget. Children have wonderful imaginations to be able to store memories deep within their body. So, it happened to my body part or parts and not me. This is especially the case in a child that is preverbal. This is where somatization is very common. Let me know if you have more questions please. As I said, I will be happy to help any way I can.
Posted by shadows721 on June 6, 2004, at 3:10:51
In reply to Q for shadows721 what does dissociative mean?, posted by Somaticide on June 5, 2004, at 21:31:54
Also, I think you will find that somatization is rare to the degree that you and I have suffered from it. I still suffer with things, but I know I don't have any physical cause. I know this is a direct result from my abusive past. I try to live my life around it. Don't feel bad about taking meds. I use to take Klonopin. Benzo's such as Xanax, Klonopin, and Ativan are very useful for helping give relief to somatic dissociative compliants.
This is the end of the thread.
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