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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tinydancer on June 4, 2004, at 8:47:33
I went to see the doctor today because of my increasing anxiety, panic, and obsessive compulsive behavior. I couldn't relax, I was just a wreck. He wanted to admit me to the hospital but I said I didn't really want to do that. Number one I'm the primary caretaker of my child, number two, half of the OCD issues would be worsened by being hospitalized because of the feeling of being locked in and not able to do what I felt I had to do.
However my best friend is almost borderline mad at me. (Or maybe she is mad.) She's like, who cares about this or that, you need to get admitted! But I don't think that way, even when I'm at my sickest, I'm still always going to put others first.
My question is: Is it valid that I don't want to be admitted this time, or am I being stupid and egotistical? My friends opinion is that my son can't be benefitting from me when I'm like "this" but I don't feel the things I'm experiencing right now are very visible.
Thoughts?
Posted by mair on June 4, 2004, at 9:57:19
In reply to Do I know best or should I listen to the doctor?, posted by tinydancer on June 4, 2004, at 8:47:33
My own personal opinion is that you are in the best position to know the logistical problems of leaving your "other" life, but the doc may be in the best position to know what can be gained from being admitted. There is a balance here which doesn't necessarily tilt in favor of the hospital unless it's essential to keep you safe.
I talked to my T about this a few years ago and told her essentially that I had no time to go to the hospital. (I was thinking about the very practical things that you deal with) I don't think she was swayed by that, but I did reason with her that the hospital served no real function for me unless I needed to be there while a new med was being introduced. We planned no meds changes so a brief hospitalization seemed pointless to me - I would be the same person coming out as I was going in - I'd just be further behind.
I don't know enough about your situation to know if your doc is right, so what happened with me may not pertain to you at all. When I feared being admitted I posted something about it here and I got a range of responses from those who thought hospitals were horrible places to those who had had better experiences. I don't there's a template that works for everyone. Those practical logistics are very important too.
Mair
Posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 11:20:07
In reply to Re: Do I know best or should I listen to the doctor?, posted by mair on June 4, 2004, at 9:57:19
I had the same sort of conversation a few months ago with my T. The upshot was, since the hospital really wouldn't provide any benefit beyond keeping me locked away from sharp things, and it would increase the same distress that it was being considered for, no hospital was better than hospital at that time.
Since that conversation, I've gone through periods where I thought, myself, that the hospital was the appropriate place for me. The problem in my case is that county hospitals do not provide anything beyond locking one away from sharp things. {{sigh}} So, same problems. If I had access to any sort of treatment in the hospital, though, it would be a different story. There have been periods lately during which a hospital which provided any sort of treatment beyond the same drugs and the locking up of crazy people would be a Good Thing.
I guess it depends on two basic factors:
1. Quality of care available at the hospitals within your reach.
2. The reality of your life. (I don't have any kids, so my only really important responsibility is vet care for a sick cat. While that is important to me, it's not the same issue at all.)
I don't know if it helps, but I wanted to add to what mair said: I, too, think that you know the realities of your life better than the doctor does, so you probably made the right decision for you for right now. I do hope that helps.
Posted by Poet on June 5, 2004, at 13:50:11
In reply to Do I know best or should I listen to the doctor?, posted by tinydancer on June 4, 2004, at 8:47:33
I've been trying to stay out of the hospital, too. To make a long story short I lost my job, my meds stopped working and I've been in a major depression with suicidal ideation.
I'm trying to collect unemployment, the mortgage guy on our new house is being a pain, my former employer stopped my health insurance with no notification, and so until we get on my husband's we have no coverage. Being in a hospital will keep me physically safe, but it won't stop me from worrying about economics. Especially how to pay for my stay. I can't do it, even if it would be what my T and pdoc think is best.
I have a friend who threatened to dial 911 on me, but is finally understanding that I will uphold my no harm agreement with my T, and am taking the new meds faithfully and have a pdoc appointment Monday. Talk to your friend about how you think you can take care of yourself while staying home. Let her know that if you need to go inpatient, you will.
Stay strong.
Poet
Posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 16:36:45
In reply to Re: Do I know best or should I listen to the docto, posted by Poet on June 5, 2004, at 13:50:11
Poet,
Did you opt out of COBRA? Or did your jerk of an ex-employer just not offer it to you? I know it's expensive, but it might be worth it.
Oh, and when you're feeling better, if your severance package was supposed to include any sort of continuing coverage for any period, you can go after The Jerky Ex-Employer for breach of contract. That might cheer you up some.
Also, your county may have some sort of Emergency Psych Inpatient or crisis intervention housing that you qualify for. Not ideal, by any means, but if you're really feeling unsafe, or even if you just really need to separate yourself from your immediate environment for a time, it might be worth looking into.
Whatever you decide to do, please keep posting here. If nothing else, knowing that a bunch of crazy strangers care very much about you might help you hang on through this patch.
Best luck to you, and sending all my strengthening wishes.
Posted by crushedout on June 5, 2004, at 16:57:57
In reply to COBRA? » Poet, posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 16:36:45
I don't think tiny lives in the U.S., Racer. COBRA's a U.S. federal law.
Posted by Poet on June 6, 2004, at 23:33:04
In reply to COBRA? » Poet, posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 16:36:45
Hi Racer,
The jerks did not send any information on COBRA or notification that my health insurance ended May 31. I found that it ended from a friend who works in HR in a different division of the company.
I called them to get a letter saying we're no longer insured as my husband's employer needs proof before we can enroll. I should have asked about COBRA, too, but I know it'll be way more expensive. My T is not covered under anybody's insurance, my new pdoc is under both, but only under my husband's for another year. He just became affiliated with where I used to work. Talk about salt in a wound.
County does have mental health facilities, but they are too scary to think about.
Poet
Posted by Racer on June 7, 2004, at 9:55:27
In reply to Re: COBRA? » Racer, posted by Poet on June 6, 2004, at 23:33:04
Oh, honey, I hear you about County -- guess where I get to go? Dr EyeCandy is seeing me through the county. 'Nuf sed, eh?
Anyway, if you are in the US, and your ex-employer ("The Jerks") didn't give you enrollment information for COBRA, they are in violation of Federal Law. Now, that really doesn't address your current situation, but doesn't it make you feel just the slightest bit better? You didn't want to work for corporate criminals, did you?
All I can say is that I feel for you. I'm sorry you're going through this, it does always seem to hit all at once when we can least manage to deal with it, doesn't it? I'm sorry.
Best wishes, and best luck to you. I hope it gets much better for you very soon.
Posted by Dinah on June 7, 2004, at 10:13:17
In reply to Do I know best or should I listen to the doctor?, posted by tinydancer on June 4, 2004, at 8:47:33
My therapist knows my determination to stay out of the hospital, so when I'm not feeling well we have other arrangements in place. Daily therapy sessions, calls if I need them. Minimal notification to my husband. It would help *a lot* if I felt free to ask my husband to keep my meds for me in those circumstances, but that just makes life worse for me.
I think unless my therapist thinks my condition is harmful to my son, and I make sure that it isn't so that isn't a concern, he'll work with me to keep me out of the hospital. And daily therapy is cheaper than the hospital too.
Mind you, I'm committed to helping him with that by keeping myself safe and calling him if I'm not.
Posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2004, at 9:07:56
In reply to Do I know best or should I listen to the doctor?, posted by tinydancer on June 4, 2004, at 8:47:33
This is hard I know, because I have gone through the same thing recently. Its really hard because obviously you are the right person to tell yourself what to do. But If you have other people telling you something different and disagreeing with you it is difficult to make the "right" decision. And its always on your mind, thinking, what is the right thing to do. It would be a whole lot easier if these people agreed with you. Unfortunately, that is not how the world works. I always figure, take the other person's opinion into consideration, especially if another person agrees along with that person. There must be a reason for it, I think. Sorry if none of this helped much. These are just my thoughts. Whatever happens, It will be ok.
Angela
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