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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by tinydancer on March 26, 2004, at 6:53:33
Does anyone feel that certain topics they bring up are of more or less interest to their T's than others?
What about the content of each session-do you feel you have a lot of control over what is discussed or does your T steer you in other directions about things they want you to discuss?
I got to thinking about this, not because I have this problem with my T, but because I wonder about how others deal with having a large scope of problems (as I do) that mean every session is literally, jam packed from start to finish with a lot of things, i.e. there is never enough time.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 26, 2004, at 8:29:35
In reply to About topics in therapy sessions, posted by tinydancer on March 26, 2004, at 6:53:33
It's funny with my T. Most of the time he expects me to sort of guide the session and that is usually when I adon't have much to say. And then when I come in with a packed agenda, he takes control immediately by diving into something random. It is so hard to predict!
And he does pay a lot more attention to some issues than others which sometimes frustrates me. Yesterday I brought up procrastination. I brought this up pretty early on in therapy 8 months ago and he looks at me incredulously and says "Is that still a problem?" Um YES! We have never even touched on it!
But we have jumped around so much and never stayed on one issue at length. I think yesterday he realized how much more we need to concentrate on things - mainly procrastination, anger, and appearance.
Posted by lonelygirl on March 26, 2004, at 8:40:58
In reply to About topics in therapy sessions, posted by tinydancer on March 26, 2004, at 6:53:33
I know what you mean about never having enough time :-(
Usually, we just start talking about life in general, and he will pick up on something and start going into it. So I guess I sort of have control over steering the conversation where I want it to go, but he is usually the one who picks on a topic to go into detail.
I'm sure if I went in and said, "I want to talk about XYZ today," he would do it, but I don't really feel comfortable just coming right out and saying it like that (though he would probably like it if I did). But I think he has gotten the sense, from the beginning, that I am not very good at saying "I need help with XYZ," so he has gotten used to finding something to talk about.
Sometimes, though, I think he picks something prematurely, like before the conversation turns to what I really wanted to talk about, though it's my fault for not just bringing it up in the first place. Sometimes I kind of forget that he can't read my mind.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 26, 2004, at 11:27:13
In reply to Re: About topics in therapy sessions » tinydancer, posted by lonelygirl on March 26, 2004, at 8:40:58
My T is good at redirecting me back to my internal world when sometimes I am really frustrated by external things. He's willing to empathize with my frustration, and wants to hear enough details to understand what happened, but then he doesn't let me get away with staying focused on the event or the person involved. It's always "How do you FEEL about that?" "How is that affecting you?" That's why I call him evil. In a good way. He doesn't let me get away with that.
:)
gg
Posted by lonelygirl on March 26, 2004, at 14:10:15
In reply to Re: About topics in therapy sessions » tinydancer, posted by lonelygirl on March 26, 2004, at 8:40:58
Sorry to impose on your thread here, but I didn't really want to create a whole new thread just for this...
I saw my psychologist today. I told him about how I am failing half my classes and not turning stuff in, so that's what we talked about the whole time. For some reason, I am kind of frustrated that he is so calm about it. I think I sort of WANT him to make a big deal out of it, maybe even get mad at me. I guess it seems like he doesn't care, and it doesn’t really matter to him (ho hum, your life’s falling apart, whatever), or perhaps he doesn’t seem to grasp the gravity of the situation. I think I am going to bring that up next time! (Yeah, right -- I'll probably chicken out.)
He said at the end that he feels like I came in with a problem that I wanted to work on, and we didn't really get very far on it -- we sort of got stuck. I am going back on Tuesday, because he is going out of town on Friday and he didn't have any open appointments on Wednesday or Thursday. I almost asked him where he is going, and he probably would have told me, but I already know, through some (gonna toot my own horn here) GENIUS googling that he is going to be presenting at a conference in St. Louis. Anyway, it will be nice not to have to wait a whole week. I had to meet with a group right after my session, and now I’m in the computer lab waiting for my next class, so I haven’t had my post-session “crash” yet. But I think that it will help knowing that I get to see him again on Tuesday. That doesn’t seem like so long at all.
Posted by DaisyM on March 26, 2004, at 15:33:23
In reply to Re: About topics in therapy sessions, posted by gardenergirl on March 26, 2004, at 11:27:13
My Therapist does the same thing. We don't spend tons of time on life's details, enough so that he knows what the stressers are, but usually it is either how I'm coping or how I'm feeling. And then why I feel like I feel. The one exception to this is talking about the traumas of my childhood. He really encourages me to tell the details here...says it needs to come out and he *wants* to hear it, no matter how bad it it.
Or, he relates things I tell him back to "us" and how things are in therapy. This is usually very hard for me, as I struggle with all the needs it brings forth.
Occasionally, I get away with "only" light topics. Or, when things are very bad, we just sit sometimes. Yesterday it was pouring rain, there was thunder off in the distance and I just was able to look out the window for a little while before he called me back. I am slowly learning to trust that his silence isn't anger.
Sometimes there isn't enough time. Other times it is a very long 50 minutes.
Here's another question? Does your Therapist let you leave early if the conversation stalls? Mine doesn't. He usually asks me to sit with whatever is going on and just be there. It can be excruciating and leaving feels like escaping. This is where I say, "I hate having feelings!" He always responds with a gentle, "I know. But you do so you might as well acknowledge them."
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2004, at 21:47:00
In reply to About topics in therapy sessions, posted by tinydancer on March 26, 2004, at 6:53:33
My therapist's standard opening line is "So what would you like to talk about today". Which made my mind instantly blank. I complained often enough about that opening that he eventually changed it to how are you doing, or what's been going on in your life.
When I'm not feeling well, I talk about the stressors in my life. That takes up all the time - releasing the pressure. When I'm feeling better, I've often got some burning question in my mind that I want to explore. Occasionally there is nothing.
He rarely guides the sessions at all. Although if he's interested in a topic I raise, he'll often ask if we can stick with it.
When I throw up my hands and ask him to say something, he usually asks about life things. My parents, my dog, my work.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 27, 2004, at 0:00:58
In reply to Re: About topics in therapy sessions » gardenergirl, posted by DaisyM on March 26, 2004, at 15:33:23
Oh yeah, I forgot about relating stuff back to the therapy relationship. I found that to be really awkward feeling for me at first, but now, sometimes I do the relating.
I'm lucky, I guess in that I am a real talker. My husband calls me "chatty" when I get on a role, usually when he is trying to sleep. So if I walk into a session and feel like "I got nothing," usually just talking about anything gives him something to latch onto. He is amazingly skilled at pulling a theme out of what feels like absolutely random stuff to me. I guess it's his analytical background.
gg
Posted by Elle2021 on March 28, 2004, at 21:21:50
In reply to About topics in therapy sessions, posted by tinydancer on March 26, 2004, at 6:53:33
> Does anyone feel that certain topics they bring up are of more or less interest to their T's than others?
Sometimes I feel like I'm an incredible bore to my T. During some appointments I wonder why I'm even there.
> What about the content of each session-do you feel you have a lot of control over what is discussed or does your T steer you in other directions about things they want you to discuss?At the beginning of the session, she asks me if there is something specific that I want to talk about. So far there hasn't been. So, she recites a few of the topics we discussed at our last session and asks me about each one. Usually that leads into new things I want to talk about with her.
> i.e. there is never enough time.
Tell me about it! I am always slow getting started talking, but after I open up (about 15 minutes) I am talking non-stop. I love my T because she lets me go over 20 minutes sometimes if I'm on a roll. :)
Elle
Posted by pegasus on March 28, 2004, at 23:12:43
In reply to Re: About topics in therapy sessions » tinydancer, posted by Elle2021 on March 28, 2004, at 21:21:50
My T always starts by just looking at me. I have to say the first thing, which I hate. My old T used to start by asking me how I am, which I didn't like either. I think there's no winning that one. ;-)
I used to always feel that there wasn't enough time, with my old T. With my new one, so far it has seemed like just about the right amount of time. Until this week, when I started talking about random stuff (although not irrelevant stuff) and she stopped me and said she was confused about what we were doing. Which confused the heck out of me. I thought we were just talking about whatever came to my mind. I think she was trying, in an awkward way, to see whether I was putting up a smoke screen of life trivia so I wouldn't have to talk about the hard stuff I'd been getting into lately. But it felt like she thought I was doing something wrong.
But, I also wondered if maybe she just found it boring. At the end, she gave me this look that I couldn't interpret that seemed kind of negative to me. As if she were annoyed, or angry or something. Who knows! And who knows what she's interested in hearing anyway. This is one of those super frustrating things about therapy to me. Somehow I'm just supposed to come up with stuff to talk about, but then sometimes it's the wrong stuff apparently, and I have no idea what the he** is supposed to happen in there anyway.
Sorry, got off on a frustrated tangent there.
- p
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