Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tancred62 on March 22, 2004, at 15:26:53
One of the side effects of my Effexor (at least that's what I think it is) is nightly bouts of sleeplessness. It's kind of a strange private time for me because I have a shortwave radio and listen to Radio Australia (known as ABC, akin to England's BBC). They have excellent in-depth programs, so much better than the crap that is peddled on the American airwaves. I include a link here to a program on "boundary transgression" and "transference" in the patient/therapist relationship. It was a bit odd to listen to this discussion since I just started posting to this board about that same topic. If you have a basic media player you should be able to listen. For those with a decent shortwave, you can listen to Radio Australia starting at 3:00 a.m. EST at 9580 MHZ.
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2004, at 19:46:25
In reply to Australian Boundary Transgression (audio link), posted by Tancred62 on March 22, 2004, at 15:26:53
Thank you for the link. I really found it interesting. I thought I had heard somewhere that the ten percent figure was down to six or so, but I could well be mistaken. That's still way too high.
It was interesting in that even where the therapist "fell in love" and married the patient, the relationship still only lasted 1 1/2 to 2 years on average. I guess that's a pretty big stressor to put on "love".
I've told my therapist he'd better as heck never violate any boundaries and get his license yanked. I'm glad he appears to be happily married and fairly happy, since it was middle aged depressed men who made up most of the romantic contingent. Then of course, the predators. They're bound to congregate wherever there are vulnerable people to exploit.
Posted by Tancred62 on March 22, 2004, at 21:35:45
In reply to Re: Australian Boundary Transgression (audio link), posted by Dinah on March 22, 2004, at 19:46:25
I'm glad you found it interesting. I swear, I would not be at all stable if it were not for my shortwave radio. I mean, have you ever tried to listen to AM talk radio at night? UFOs, right wing rhetoric, commercials for balding and sexual dysfunction. It's all crap.
This dynamic between men and women has got me to the point where I don't even want to touch a relationship. I feel that the probabilities for emotional stress for both me and my potential female partner are just too great to make it worth it. I think this is mostly because of me. I just truly think that I should just stay single until I can really deal with it. Maybe when I'm 50 or 60. Now I just try to survive day to day.
I really think that almost all men are predators, even the "middle-aged depressed" ones. That's what it's about, really; the pursuit of the woman and her acceptance of your advances. Problem is, that is a very rudimentary instinct that does not take into account societal norms, complex emotions (that most men either deny or ignore), and the artificial environment that has become both our slave and our master.
Thanks for "blowing your horn," Dinah.
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2004, at 22:38:47
In reply to Re: Australian Boundary Transgression (audio link), posted by Tancred62 on March 22, 2004, at 21:35:45
I've been kind of struck, in the time I've been on this board, and also with my friends, that it's often the man who is way more stereotypically romantic than the woman, and often takes the relationship far more seriously and deeply.
Maybe I've just known some very romantic and tender men.
Posted by Tancred62 on March 23, 2004, at 8:00:02
In reply to Re: Australian Boundary Transgression (audio link) » Tancred62, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2004, at 22:38:47
That's probably true, and I think this board, because of what it's about and who it's for, acts as a sort of filtering system that tends to "select" men with more romantic (psychotic?) attributes. It would not surprise me at all if there were a direct link between male depression and relational sensitivity (sorry for that awkward phrase). I'm still skeptical, however, regarding the notion of a monogamous, life-long romantic relationship with one person. That such a relationship is held up as some kind of holy grail makes the disolution of any relationship seem worse than it may actually be. Perhaps a "romantic" relationship has its own life cycle, its own progression through phases. This would match up well with evolutionary imperatives regarding genetic diversity and species survival. I would look to the apes, perhaps, to better understand ourselves.
The SSRIs are in the news again, this time with suicide rates causing concern. I wont repeat what I heard and read, but you can find it on Google News.
TANCRED
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2004, at 8:08:00
In reply to Re: Australian Boundary Transgression (audio link), posted by Tancred62 on March 23, 2004, at 8:00:02
Chuckle. Well, my husband and I have been together monogamously for over twenty years, so I'm the wrong one to be pessimistic about it.
I think it comes down to decision and will, not feelings. Feelings change, but choices can last a lifetime if you're committed to do so. I have every confidence that our marriage will be to death do us part. I also have every confidence that we will, at times, wish that death to come sooner rather than later. And other times when we remember all the reasons we're glad to be together.
(And I wouldn't say psychotic - I'd say sensitive. And my outside male friends, even the ones that would rather die than see a therapist, are not really any different. I figure I have good taste in friends.)
As to the meds, there should never have any doubts that serotonin and norepinephrine can cause severe agitation in susceptible individuals. I myself became suicidal on Wellbutrin, as I can't take even the tiniest bit of norepinephrine. Apparently I make plenty myself.
This is the end of the thread.
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