Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tinydancer on March 22, 2004, at 3:35:06
I'm just being a little silly. Obsession, Fallen and you others, how have you been coping with your feelings for your T? Lately there hasn't been much discussion and I find it fascinating and important to talk about. Don't suffer in silence.
I don't have much to say about myself-basically I suck-no progress whatsoever, I'd say I'm probably even worse in that department. I've got an appointment with the man himself today, so I'll update later. Hang in there to all you out there who are suffering.
Posted by terrics on March 22, 2004, at 8:25:21
In reply to How's that old tranzfrrenze coming along?, posted by tinydancer on March 22, 2004, at 3:35:06
You hang in there too! terrics
Posted by lonelygirl on March 22, 2004, at 11:11:14
In reply to How's that old tranzfrrenze coming along?, posted by tinydancer on March 22, 2004, at 3:35:06
Hope your appointment goes well today...
I have been reading some old threads on transference (which makes me understand how you can say that "lately there hasn't been much discussion" on it -- and here I thought it was being discussed a lot!), and someone posted a semi-long article about it. One thing that really stood out to me was this:
"To stay in therapy feeds and maintains the obsession; to leave therapy – and to keep away from the therapist – is indescribably painful."
(http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/245727.html)Soooo true. Anyway, I do not plan on telling my psychologist. He is a CBT, and I know someone else (fallsfall) had one who did not react well to the information. On top of that, he is young and has had only a few years of counseling experience, so he might be freaked out by it. He has also had most (maybe all) of his experience in the university health center, and I suspect that they don't see that many people who are as crazy as me. I think they just get a lot of depression, maybe some eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, homosexuals ("coming out" stuff), self-esteem, relationship problems, etc. I am way too embarrassed to tell him, and if he reacted badly (e.g., terminating), I just don't know if I could handle it.
Posted by fallsfall on March 22, 2004, at 14:08:55
In reply to Re: How's that old tranzfrrenze coming along? » tinydancer, posted by lonelygirl on March 22, 2004, at 11:11:14
I don't know that I would advise you NOT to talk to your CBT therapist about your transference. I'm a firm believer in telling your therapist EVERYTHING.
I wouldn't really say that my therapist "did not react well to the information" about my transference. She didn't react well when I told her that I googled her. I don't think that I ever told her that I was feeling transference (because I don't think that I understood that until I left). She didn't figure out on her own that I was feeling transference - or if she did she never explained it to me. I don't know what she would have done if I were able to articulate what I was feeling. My guess is that she would have tried to get me to see the reality of the situation (assuming that she *wasn't* really mad at me) - which would have been a good thing. I think that it would be incorrect to say that CBT therapists can't/don't deal with transference. But in MY case, MY CBT therapist didn't deal with MY transference and that was a problem for ME. I think that it is correct to say that Psychodynamic therapists are more likely than CBT therapists to look for transference, and to have training on how to resolve it. My hope is that if others find themselves caught up in transference that isn't budging, and their therapist isn't helping with it, that they consider changing therapists (because they have heard that it helped at least one person - me).
Posted by toomuchpain on March 22, 2004, at 14:16:05
In reply to Re: How's that old tranzfrrenze coming along? » lonelygirl, posted by fallsfall on March 22, 2004, at 14:08:55
well mine is sorta stuck right where it was lol ... it never seems to get better i see him everytime i go over there and it is painful as all get out ... i feel like screaming sometimes ... i dont talk much about it to my new t ... she just tells me my feelings arent real ... or she laughs ... ( i dont find it funny)
Posted by lonelygirl on March 22, 2004, at 15:14:57
In reply to Re: How's that old tranzfrrenze coming along? » lonelygirl, posted by fallsfall on March 22, 2004, at 14:08:55
Well, thanks for clarifying that... I am still not comfortable telling him about it, though -- at least right now.
I realized another kind of transference that I experienced, too. I was sent to counseling by someone at my school because I got in trouble, and later there was a further development in the same trouble and the person who sent me to counseling in the first place actually called the psychologist to ask if I was a "danger to [my]self or others." (They had forced me to sign something that allowed the psychologist to discuss me with them.) It reminded me of the many times in my childhood that I got in trouble in school (usually unjustly, or at least disproportionately to what I did) and the principal called my parents. So I guess I thought of the psychologist sort of as a parental figure.
Except, when my parents were called, I always felt it was a bad thing (in fact, I always begged the principal not to call my parents), because it meant my parents would be mad at me and maybe punish me. But in this case, I felt like the psychologist was going to defend me and maybe even "tell off" this other person that he was making a mountain out of a molehill.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 22, 2004, at 17:09:49
In reply to How's that old tranzfrrenze coming along?, posted by tinydancer on March 22, 2004, at 3:35:06
Lol Tinydancer I needed this :) Well keep in mind my T and I agree its not transferance (he may be being kind lol) as once we both hinted on the issue...anyhow I will say it is for converstions sake. ..I am.... probably a REAL "fruitloop" cause I Am not suffering I ENJOY IT :P I WISH he would make a move or say grand things to me (again) that lack of sonnet writing can be a drag loling here, but...all in all I love it...and him :) I would be crushed if he dissed me and I am even closer and MORE shall we say transfrenzied as we got even closer recently AND NOT "THAT" WAY darn :P I am a hopeless romantic and loon..but a nice one all in all and harmless
SO YOU BACK? FILL US IN ????
> I'm just being a little silly. Obsession, Fallen and you others, how have you been coping with your feelings for your T? Lately there hasn't been much discussion and I find it fascinating and important to talk about. Don't suffer in silence.
> I don't have much to say about myself-basically I suck-no progress whatsoever, I'd say I'm probably even worse in that department. I've got an appointment with the man himself today, so I'll update later. Hang in there to all you out there who are suffering.
This is the end of the thread.
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