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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 16:27:25
Is it possible to experience transference with your therapist after you have already experienced it once? My therapist told me that when I am feeling angry or upset at her, that that is considered transference because in reality Im not really upset with her but that there is an underlying issue...and something else that Im really dealing with and my frustration can seem like it is towards her when really it isnt. Am I making any sense? She wanted me to do a homework assignment and to bring it to her next week at our next session but I already know that Im not going to be able to do it...and I got really annoyed ..(i didnt tell her) but I knew right away that I wasnt going to be able to complete the assignment and I was feeling as if she were one of my parents telling or "suggesting" that I do something and it is something that i dont want to do...But i dont want to upset her if i dont do it...am i going through transference again? What can I do about it if it is? I dont know what im going though right now...everything else is fine and dandy I just felt really stubborn when she told me to do something and I didnt want to do it. help me figure this out if you can...and also a little side note for everyone that has been responding to my post....I just wanted to say that I am greatful for every response i get...Im not having time to thank everyone that posts things to me..but, please know that I am very greatful...:)
Posted by terrics on March 16, 2004, at 16:59:13
In reply to Transference again?, posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 16:27:25
Hi, Even if it is transference, aren't you entitled to refuse to do an assignment? You can refuse graciously. Maybe it really is something you just do not want to do. terrics
Posted by pegasus on March 16, 2004, at 17:06:26
In reply to Transference again?, posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 16:27:25
I agree with terrics. Also, I think it's easy to talk about transference in a way that seems invalidating of your emotions. Is that how you're feeling about what your T said? If not, sorry for misinterpreting.
Just because it might be transference doesn't mean that you aren't also feeling all of those feelings. It's just a possible explanation for why some things may hit you as hard as they do. If you're feeling invalidated, that seems like a good thing to talk to your T about.
Not being involved in your situation, I don't think it's possible to say from the outside whether what you're experiencing is transference. But it sounds like it could be. I guess, what I would suggest is asking yourself whether anything in your past would explain why you would react in a stubborn way to being asked to do homework (or maybe that particular homework). If the feeling seems familiar, then maybe you're putting the experience in the same category as something else you've experienced in the past. You did mention feeling that she was like your parents, telling you to do something. That could be a transferrence. I.e., you might be tranferring a reaction that you had to your parents demands onto your relationship with your T. Is that what it feels like? When it comes down to it, you're the only one who can really say whether it's a transference, IMHO.
- p
Posted by Dinah on March 16, 2004, at 17:28:04
In reply to Transference again?, posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 16:27:25
There were homework assignments I hated and never did. Is there any particular reason you dislike what she's asking you to do? If so, it seems reasonable to need a good enough reason to do it.
Posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 18:16:12
In reply to Re: Transference again? » Pandabear, posted by Dinah on March 16, 2004, at 17:28:04
Now, not only am I wondering about my transference thing...I just became seriously obsessed with driving by her work to see if she was there..she works right across from my townhouse and I drove i think...15 times around her office just to see if she was there...I have done this before and she knows it...but the medicine was helping me to stop being so obsessive and NOW im starting again...I almost missed meeting my parents for dinner because I was too busy circling...(im really not a weird person..i promise) Plus, I know where she lives and the last thing i want to do is be driving by doing circles and her to see me.... I dont know what I would do but that isnt something I want to share with her...she would probably terminate me or something..i dont know if i should make her aware of my obsessiveness tonight or if I should just let it go and watch it ....but I know that im going to stay this way...I hope not...
Posted by whisper55 on March 17, 2004, at 2:18:58
In reply to Re: Transference again?, posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 18:16:12
You are brave to admit that and I too have done the same thing no kidding, man I am glad you posted this no short of moving out of state LOL. My attraction to her is not sexual at all but I have driven by her house and obsess. This is not the first time in my life a few maybe 2 like this.
I do some pretty crazy stuff and am not sure if my therapist should know or not? But I wish this part of me would be fixed I hate it.
Posted by Crooked Heart on March 18, 2004, at 4:30:37
In reply to Transference again?, posted by Pandabear on March 16, 2004, at 16:27:25
> ...everything else is fine and dandy I just felt really stubborn when she told me to do something and I didnt want to do it. help me figure this out if you can...
Hi Panda
Will you be able to talk to her about how you felt about the homework?
As others have said here, though, whether you call it transference or not, the feelings are real enough (don't we know it!)
Take care.
This is the end of the thread.
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