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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:04
Hi All,
My therapist called me urgently--left messages at work and home asking for me to call. When I spoke to her she sounded really rattled. She said she'd have to cancel due to a "family emergency." I said no problem and that I'd see her next week and got off the phone fast. I figured she just wanted to race through all her cancellations as smoothly as possible.
However, I'm a bit concerned about her--not a transference thing--just a concern about someone important to me.
Is it okay for me to ask her if she is okay next week or to ask what's up? I don't want to pry but it seems so artificial and cold not to say anything.
Any/all thoughts would be appreciated.
Rigby
Posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:19:57
In reply to Family Emergency-Can We Ask?, posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:04
I think it is perfectly okay for you to ask her...seen she did cancel the session and it has to be somehting bad or big for her to do that!
i would suggest you say to her that you were concerned about her and im sure she would appreciate that and ask her if she alrite and if its okay with her if she could tell you what happened just briefly dosent need detail.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 26, 2004, at 18:06:20
In reply to Re: Family Emergency-Can We Ask?, posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:19:57
Exactly as the previous post said, just ask if she's ok because you are copcerned..
Bubba canceled once because of a death in the family and I was very concerened for him, not missing the session. I asked on the phone if he was OK, adn I got all kinds of details. But, Bubba has said himself that he has "Foot in Mouth Syndrome."
I also asked at our next appointment if he was ok. It didn't seem awkward or anything. It just shows concern.
Posted by pegasus on February 26, 2004, at 18:11:13
In reply to Family Emergency-Can We Ask?, posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:04
I say definitely ask. Once my old T said something about having just come from the hospital, and I never asked about it and felt bad later. And then just a few weeks ago my current T called to move my appt because someone in her family had to have surgery. In the next session I asked her if it was OK to ask about her family member who had surgery. She said "Sure, thanks for asking." She gave me a quick summary, and it felt good to have made a connection like that.
Probably every T handles this differently, but I can't think it would be bad to ask.
- p
Posted by Racer on February 26, 2004, at 18:15:51
In reply to Family Emergency-Can We Ask?, posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:04
It's OK to ask. You can even say that she's important in your life, and you're concerned about her. If she isn't comfortable about it, she can tell you.
Good luck, and I hope that helps.
Posted by noa on February 26, 2004, at 19:15:48
In reply to Family Emergency-Can We Ask?, posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:04
Yes, I think it is fine and normal to ask and since she has already disclosed, out of necessity, that there was a family emergency, she should, imho, be prepared that clients will ask her this and be ready to provide some information. Doesn't have to be a lot. But of course, it can stir up fears and worries about her and family, etc. So, yes, I think it is definitely ok to ask...This has come up with my therapist and I've asked and he has explained and it was fine.
Posted by DaisyM on February 26, 2004, at 23:03:29
In reply to Re: Family Emergency-Can We Ask? » Rigby, posted by noa on February 26, 2004, at 19:15:48
My Therapist told me during a session that someone in his wife's family had died and he might need to cancel the next session. Turns out he didn't, it just worked out that way but I knew he was gone for a stretch of days. The next time I saw him, I did ask how it was, etc. And he was fine with that.
However, he then wanted to know if I had needed him and held back calling because I knew he was unavailable...and if knowing he was unavailable had any impact on how I was feeling. It was a good conversation, but it was unexpected for me.
Posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 23:38:43
In reply to Family Emergency-Can We Ask?, posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:04
Hi,
I ended up leaving a quick voicemail to let her know I was thinking of her. It sounds like it'll be okay and probably anticipated to talk briefly about it the next time I see her.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts on this--it was very helpful!
Rigby
Posted by obSession on February 27, 2004, at 18:59:05
In reply to Thanks All, posted by Rigby on February 26, 2004, at 23:38:43
glad it worked out for you....
my advice to you would be JUST BE HONEST WITH YOUR THERAPIST AS HONEST AS U CAN BE...its okay to ask ...you arent asking for u t to tell u major sex details or anything u simply out of concern would like to know if all is okay as in any relationship ...its natural to ask sumone so dont worry ....well done on the phone call!!!!!!!!!
This is the end of the thread.
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