![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pandabear on January 22, 2004, at 21:43:22
I had posted something about possible transference that I was experiencing with my therapist a few weeks ago and I just wanted say that I ended up writing a letter to my therapist after our last session because I was becoming so overwhelmed with everything...I explained to her that I was condsidering her to be like my "mom" and that I knew that she wasnt, and how that I was upset at her for some of the things she was suggesting to me because It made me feel like I was talking to my mom..and we dont get along...and anyway,I told her that I was about to cancel all of our meetings bc of my frustrating and anxiety over everything...
At our previous meeting on Wednesday, she told me that she was so proud of me and that I was experiencing transference and that it was a good thing because this meant that my therapy was improving and that now i could open up and tell her things and that the way I acted towards her and the skills I learned from her I could transfer to my mother. She proceeded to tell me that she was in awe of me because I think with a psychological mind..and that that is one of the reasons why i like coming to therapy because I can talk about things and learn about whats wrong with me. I told her that I knew it was transference bc I had been researching it for about two weeks but, I wasnt going to say anything because I am not the therapist ...and I didnt want to diagnose myself. Anyway, she was very pleased and I was releaved because I had no idea how she was going to react to my letter. I told her that, and I also said that I didnt see her dropping me off the face of the planet just because I was experiencing transference...and she smiled and said "your correct". Woohoo. (Can you tell I am happy) :) I have been stressed out over my feelings lately and it is so good to finally realize what is happening inside of my mind...AND, to realize that my therapist is supporting what is happening...thank goodness!
Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2004, at 21:46:06
In reply to Update on my transference, posted by Pandabear on January 22, 2004, at 21:43:22
That's fabulous! I'm always so happy to hear stories of brave clients and competent, caring, compassionate therapists. :)
Posted by gardenergirl on January 22, 2004, at 23:30:03
In reply to Re: Update on my transference » Pandabear, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2004, at 21:46:06
Congrats, Pandabear. I'm glad your courage paid off!
gg
Posted by fallsfall on January 23, 2004, at 8:20:32
In reply to Update on my transference, posted by Pandabear on January 22, 2004, at 21:43:22
That's great! Transference can be really intense, but if you and your therapist can talk about it you can really learn so much. I'm so glad you had the courage to write that letter. I think that you will see how it helps your therapy.
Good for you!
Posted by Karen_kay on January 23, 2004, at 13:51:43
In reply to Re: Update on my transference » Pandabear, posted by fallsfall on January 23, 2004, at 8:20:32
That's terrific! It's so great to hear success stories about competent clients and therapists who can handle feelings of transference without being scared of such feelings. How wonderful for you! Keep us updated about your progress, both in therapy and in the relationship with your mother. CONGRATS!
Posted by Catmom on January 25, 2004, at 0:00:07
In reply to Update on my transference, posted by Pandabear on January 22, 2004, at 21:43:22
Panda, That's really fantastic news. I think it means that you've got a wonderful chance to delve deeply and learn so much about yourself that your future will be richer.
What you and your therapist are doing together is really the model: you now feel comfortable speaking; she understands you; she's reassured you.
It's really wonderful and yes, indeed, requires enormous courage and trust, which are two fantastic strengths.
Good for you!
Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 5:43:49
In reply to Re: Update on my transference » Pandabear, posted by Catmom on January 25, 2004, at 0:00:07
It's good to read this. I have just realized that I need to talk to my T about transference. I'm thinking it's a parental transference. Perhaps maternal, but not sure. Anyway, it's scary for me, because I feel so vulnerable and dependent when I think about it. Reading about others' success in talking about it gives me courage.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Pandabear on January 26, 2004, at 12:07:26
In reply to Re: Update on my transference, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 5:43:49
GoodLuck with talking to your therapist...It has been a challenge for me but, I am so glad that I was able to bring it up with her. I do depend on mine and I cannot stand it because Im trying to be more independent...but, she is very understanding...thank goodness! :)
Posted by gardenergirl on January 28, 2004, at 11:46:34
In reply to Re: Update on my transference » gardenergirl, posted by Pandabear on January 26, 2004, at 12:07:26
Well, I talked to my T yesterday about my awareness of being dependent on him and how I felt about it. He was great! He gave me lots of credit for "experiencing" and then telling him about it. Yeah! But I made it easier on myself because as I was telling him, I took off my glasses to wipe my eyes, so I couldn't really see him.
:)
But it went well. That's a relief!
gg
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2004, at 12:52:12
In reply to Re: Update on my transference, posted by gardenergirl on January 28, 2004, at 11:46:34
> Pandabear: I have been stressed out over my feelings lately and it is so good to finally realize what is happening inside of my mind...AND, to realize that my therapist is supporting what is happening...thank goodness!
> gardenergirl: Well, I talked to my T yesterday about my awareness of being dependent on him and how I felt about it. He was great!
Way to go, Pandabear and gardenergirl!I felt so relieved when I shared my transference feelings with my therapist and he handled it really well. I'm really happy for you that you both have supportive and understanding therapists.
You both did a great job and it will be well worth it for you!
All Done
Posted by gardenergirl on January 28, 2004, at 15:17:30
In reply to Pandabear and gardenergirl, posted by All Done on January 28, 2004, at 12:52:12
It does feel relieving and liberating. He referred to it as my authentic, true self emerging from the defenses. Whatever you want to call it, I feel much better about therapy and about myself.
I'm glad others are having this experience, too.
gg
Posted by Crooked Heart on January 29, 2004, at 2:28:57
In reply to Pandabear and gardenergirl, posted by All Done on January 28, 2004, at 12:52:12
> I felt so relieved when I shared my transference feelings with my therapist and he handled it really well. I'm really happy for you that you both have supportive and understanding therapists.
>
> You both did a great job and it will be well worth it for you!
>
> All DoneI'm sure you're right All Done about it's being worth it. My therapist always seemed to be sort of non-committal when I mentioned the dependency, neediness etc. (or even obsession!), as though she'd prefer not to go into it. Or maybe that was my projection. My therapy ended three years ago and though I gained something huge from it, the dependency is still a bit of a hangover. If I'd come across this board when I was in therapy i would've insisted that we talk about it.
So, yeah, way to go Pandabear and gardenergirl. And I like the bit about the glasses!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.