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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 38. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 17:15:48
Hiya all! I'm preparing to bake holiday cookies for my therapist since I know he isn't going to accept a present. I think just bringing in cookies to share during the session will be a nice gesture and he won't necesarily think of it as a gift. Plus, it will be yummy to have cookies for myself :)
I've been thinking and rethinking how I view my therapist now. I don't fantasize about him anymore (although I still find him attractive). I don't have a crush on him. I almost wrote "Baking cookies for my daddy" in the header. Strange how things change in such a short amount of time. So, transference is still present, just in a different way. I just wonder if I'm going to start feeling anger or rage towards him, due to some of the suppressed anger I feel towards my father. I guess time will tell. But, I don't really ever confuse him with my father, I just see him as a new daddy, a replacement father of sorts... This can't be healthy either... Well, either way, it is progress. At least I'm not bringing up humping him during every session and I'm talking about my father during the session. You would be proud Daisy :) How's everyone else doing in therapy? I go tomorrow and will discuss all the dreams I continue to have.... And eat yummy cookies, if they turn out...
Keeping my fingers crossed. Karen
Posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 17:21:47
In reply to Baking my therapist cookies, posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 17:15:48
that's brave of you. I sent mine a Christmas card this year. The last time I did that she brought it up in the session and said how touched she was-- which just embarassed me horribly. I can't bear to express warm feelings toward her and see her response.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 18:11:38
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies, posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 17:21:47
Why is it brave? Is there a chance he won't be able to eat them? You're freaking me out now... I would cry if he didn't eat them... Seriously.. Tell me soon please. :(
Posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 18:29:10
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies » tabitha, posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 18:11:38
I just meant I'm too embarassed to make nice gestures to my therapist. She responds warmly but it embarasses me. So to me.. presenting her with a gift of cookies would be way way beyond my comfort level. It sounds brave to me to be OK with an expression of appreciation to your therapist. I would expect your therapist will accept the cookies graciously. It's normal nice holiday behavior to give baked goods. It's sweet and good.
Posted by naiad on December 15, 2003, at 18:38:37
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies, posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 18:29:10
Once when my garden was in full bloom, I thought about bringing flowers to my therapsit but I chickened out. I was afraid it was too personal. It is illustrative of how unsure I am about the rules of therapy.
Since my therapist knows I have a crush on him, I think I won't take the risk of bringing him any gifts. But, I don't want to discourage you from doing it and I would love to hear how he reacts. If I were your therapist, I would be pleased.
Posted by judy1 on December 15, 2003, at 18:40:59
In reply to Baking my therapist cookies, posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 17:15:48
I think that's a really nice gesture, and if you are close to his staff having extra to share with them also is kind. You're absolutely correct- it's unethical to accept a present, but baking cookies is definitely within boundaries. I hope you and your therp have a nice holiday- judy
Posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 19:29:28
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies » Karen_kay, posted by judy1 on December 15, 2003, at 18:40:59
I almost chickened out for a second! But, what is the worst that can happen? He won't eat them? I'd start crying like a baby of course, but maybe he'll start crying with me, like we discussed last week. What a stupid thing to cry about, and of course this is precisely the thing I would cry over. But, maybe he'd shove one down his throat just to shut me up! Worst case scenario right there! I just hope they don't taste like poop!
Posted by shar on December 15, 2003, at 22:54:52
In reply to Baking my therapist cookies, posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 17:15:48
I got this bizarre image of cookies made out of therapists when I read that title. Like 'I'm gonna do some chocolate chip, peanut butter, and therapist ones this year.'
Aside from my own weird interpretation, I thought that is a very nice thing to do!
Shar
Posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 0:02:50
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies, posted by shar on December 15, 2003, at 22:54:52
The chocolate and hazelnut I overcooked and the sugar cookies, I just don't know what went wrong there. I'd bring them in anyway but I'd feel bad making him feel like he had to eat sh** in front of me :) So, maybe I'll just tell him the story? Or, maybe I'll buy cookies and try to pass them off as my own? Or .... I'm running out of ideas here... I'd really like to get him a present without appearing to get him a present... Any suggestions. Please!!! Don't say "Write a poem" or "Open up" or "Be on time" or give me some cliche.... I see him tomorrow at 1... Maybe I'l just try regular old fashioned chocolate chip. I know I can't screw that up (I think I just jinxed myself)
Posted by DaisyM on December 16, 2003, at 0:29:25
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies, posted by shar on December 15, 2003, at 22:54:52
i had such a hectic day and am finally home after 22 meetings AND therapy...and I find this thread. God I laughed...Shar...Therapist cookies!! LOL!!!
I have this picture in my head of little gingerbread like therapist, anatomically correct, of course, decorated and ready to hang on the tree or eat...
Ok, so I'm tired. :)
Posted by DaisyM on December 16, 2003, at 0:32:11
In reply to Baking my therapist cookies, posted by Karen_kay on December 15, 2003, at 17:15:48
Karen,
I am proud of how hard you are working and how honest about it all you've been. I know it is hard, really hard, especially this time of year.I appreciated all your support last week, I really needed it! Today was so much better -- maybe that is progress.
I hope the cookies turn out well.
Posted by fallsfall on December 16, 2003, at 6:23:51
In reply to Well, they turned out like poop!, posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 0:02:50
Try Brownies from a mix. Pretty foolproof and quick.
If we make "therapist cookies", how do we eat them... Head first? Arms? Legs?? other??
When we eat them, are we trying to destroy our therapist or merge with them? Or both?????
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 8:30:48
In reply to Well, they turned out like poop!, posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 0:02:50
Karen, they sound good to me!
I too wanted to get my therapist a little something. So I got him a REALLY nice Christmas card (cost $8 for one card!) and am putting a letter inside just basically saying how much I appreciate him. Not too imaginative, but I know I couldn't get him a real gift. I feel like saying something like, "Now this is for you and should NOT end up in my file!"
Posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 10:00:48
In reply to Re: Well, they turned out like poop!, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 8:30:48
I tried the chocolate hazelnut again and they turned out good! Now, I'm just worried he doesn't like hazelnut, or he won't "Be able to accept gifts", or a number of other scenarios that I come up with to make myself nervous....
But, after 5 trips to the grocery, and about 4 hours of baking, he better eat them darn it or I'm going to shove them down his throat myself :) Or guilt him into eating them.. Don't think I won't... There's something wrong with my personality, I suspect... I try to do something nice and then plan ways to make the other person feel bad if I suspect they won't accept my gift... Of course he will.. I'm being silly.. Sorry, having a conversation in my head on the computer.
Posted by Dinah on December 16, 2003, at 10:06:28
In reply to Second time's a charm :), posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 10:00:48
He'll be wonderfully gracious.
And we all have our personality quirks. I think I might bring up my own problems with offering anyone anything from eye contact to cookies next session.
Posted by judy1 on December 16, 2003, at 10:17:48
In reply to Re: Baking my therapist cookies, posted by shar on December 15, 2003, at 22:54:52
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 10:42:28
In reply to Second time's a charm :), posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 10:00:48
K, let us know how much he loved those cookies!
Posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 13:53:51
In reply to Re: Second time's a charm :), posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 10:42:28
Gave him the blasted cookies.... Had hardly any sleep because of those stupid cookies. I got there and debated on leaving the cookies out in the car because I'm sure his wife bakes better cookies. Took them in anyway. Sat in the waiting room for 15 minutes waiting. Almost started crying, thinking "He's punishing me for something I did wrong and I stayed up late baking him cookies. I'm leaving." I decided to stick it out. He finally showed up with a bandaid on his finger. He slammed his finger in his car door. I felt bad for almost getting crabby with him. I waited until the very end of the session to give him the cookies, as I didn't want him to start eating them in front of me and not like them and feel like he had to eat them. Or worse, compliment me on them, when I know they were poopie. Or even worse, spit them out because he is allergic to hazelnuts. So, at the very end I said, "I baked you some cookies." And he was like thanks. And of course I was like "They were a pain in my butt." And I said, "I had to make 3 batches to get them jsut right." (He knows I like to complain, I've admitted it several times, one of my personality quirks :) He asked what I did with the other batches and I said I threw them out. He said I shouldn't have done that. Then he metioned that he likes cookies that are really doughie and I almost swallowed my tongue because I made them a bit more done. Ugh. I knew I should have called him first to find out exactly how he liked his cookies... Next year, I'm going with store bought and I'll pass them off as my own. Or, I'll bring him hot chocolate. Man, I'm overly anal!!!!!! So, that's my jolly therapist cookie christmas story.. It sucked!
Posted by Penny on December 16, 2003, at 14:12:36
In reply to Stupid therapist cookies...., posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 13:53:51
It's the thought that counts...
I'm afraid to bake anything for my T or pdoc, even though I thought about it. I'm taking them handpainted tree ornaments, b/c at least I know they have Christmas trees. And I'm better at painting the ornaments than at baking. sigh.
But, again, it's the thought that counts! And I'm sure your cookies were wonderful...they sound good anyway!
P
Posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 14:23:08
In reply to Re: Stupid therapist cookies.... » Karen_kay, posted by Penny on December 16, 2003, at 14:12:36
Aren't you afraid they won't accept them? They are gifts. I'm not trying to scare you or anything but I was a bit scared he would see cookies as a gift and reject them, thereby rejecting me as well.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 14:27:03
In reply to Stupid therapist cookies...., posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 13:53:51
Karen, I LOVE hazelnuts and would have been ecstatic to receive those cookies! It's hard when people aren't as appreciative as we think they should be. O well, live and learn for next year. I would be tempted next Christmas to just bring in the dough since that's how he likes them....
Posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 14:39:12
In reply to Re: Stupid therapist cookies...., posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 14:27:03
Oh no! He was very appreciative! I'm sorry if I gave the wrong idea! He was "gently scolding" me for trying too hard to get them perfect. Maybe next year I will bring in dough though.. That sounds like something I'd do.... >) He wasn't at all ungrateful for the cookies. I'm just getting down on myself for not anticipating what kind of cookies he likes. Guess I'm not the fortune teller I thought I was. Go figure. Stupid cookies. Don't you hate it when you have big ideas and they never quite turn out the way you want them too? Now, I'm wondering if when he eats them if he's thinking "It took her 3 batches and they turned out like this? Good Lord, she should have given up after the first batch." I wish I had a personal chef. Holidays suck... Baking sucks... My therapist sucks... (you do see my humor in all of this, correct? I mean I am telling the truth and all, but I'm trying to find humor in my anal ways.. please tell me there is something at least remotely funny about all of my suffering........Please????
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2003, at 14:45:33
In reply to Re: Stupid therapist cookies...., posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 14:39:12
I find humor in just about anything, so rest assured, I find this ordeal humerous (especially the thought process which mirrors mine quite a bit).
Good! I'm glad he was appreciative at least!
Posted by tabitha on December 16, 2003, at 15:49:58
In reply to Re: Stupid therapist cookies...., posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 14:39:12
I'm have to assume he's touched that a client would go through all that mental torture and physical ordeal (3 batches!) just to present him with a gift of cookies. You could have bailed on the effort at so many points.. after the 1st batch, in the car, in the lobby, in the session.. but you didn't. You took a big risk and endured a heap of self-criticism and possible rejection just to make a nice gesture to him. I'm really impressed.
Posted by Dinah on December 16, 2003, at 16:26:17
In reply to Stupid therapist cookies...., posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 13:53:51
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