Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 286045

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Deciphering therapists

Posted by Waterlily on December 2, 2003, at 18:34:37

I've been in therapy for 2 1/2 years, mostly every other week, sometimes longer intervals, rarely shorter. Most of the time I have a dialogue with my therapist or she'll just sit and listen. I was 8 weeks into a depression when I saw her last time (three weeks ago). I saw my pdoc, started a new medication, had 10 days of severe anxiety and mental because of the new med, and kicked both the severe anxiety and depression, all since I last saw my therapist (she was on vacation when I was in the worst part of the anxiety). That was a lot and I told her all about it, including my fear that I would lose control of myself and do myself in against my will. I was also terribly afraid that I'd end up in a psychiatric hospital (never been, but my sis-in-law is severely manic-depressive and just spent three weeks in the hospital). She said very little and wrote a lot. I always wonder what she's thinking when she writes like that. There were plenty of opportunities where she could have jumped in, even a few very long and uncomfortable breaks in my monologue. Does anyone know what they write in your chart?

She did ask me about what I was taking medication wise (300 mg of Wellbutrin and 100 mg of Luvox) and told me that she should have suggested seeing my pdoc for a different medication last time she saw me, but she had written that I did not seem to be depressed. When I told her that part of the reason I requested Luvox from my pdoc is because I thought I tended to be obsessive in that I have a one-track mind. She said that she agreed that I did tend to be that way. But...This summer when I told her that I was annoyed that I kept thinking about a certain thing (my vision that was and is still messed up because of LASIK). I told her that I thought it might be a good thing that I was obsessed because it brought about action. She agreed with me at that time that perhaps the obsession was a good thing. She never said anything negative about it. Now she's saying that she agrees with me that I tend to obsess and that breaking that would be good for me. Seems like she agrees with everything I say to her, except if it's something bad about myself.

So I'm wondering what the deal is with her. Is she a wimp? Why does she agree with me all the time? I can't be right that often. I know that she needs to elevate me in my mind and decrease her own stature so that I will not look to her for all of the answers, rather, I'll look to myself instead. Maybe she's going too far because I wonder if she's really that good if I can know more than her.

 

Re: Deciphering therapists » Waterlily

Posted by Dinah on December 2, 2003, at 19:51:29

In reply to Deciphering therapists, posted by Waterlily on December 2, 2003, at 18:34:37

That sounds quite disconcerting. Have you ever talked to her about it? Or asked to see what she is writing? Mine has read what he wrote the previous week if I ask, although we do discuss why I'm asking. That wouldn't be a bad thing though in this case, I'm thinking.

My therapist writes a teensy bit, but I'd find it distracting if he wrote a lot. And I have no experience with a therapist who agrees with everything I say (grin), so I can't imagine what her purpose would be.

Do you know what her orientation is? The spacing seems too far apart for her to be an analyst. It doesn't sound like CBT or supportive therapy. Knowing that might let you make a few guesses. Asking directly would give you a better chance of understanding, though.

Do you feel you have a good therapeutic relationship, a strong therapeutic bond?

 

Re: Deciphering therapists

Posted by mair on December 3, 2003, at 17:02:58

In reply to Re: Deciphering therapists » Waterlily, posted by Dinah on December 2, 2003, at 19:51:29

My therapist takes copious notes throughout my session. I haven't seen these but I know that she frequently writes down what I say because sometimes she'll quote me. I hate hearing my own words.

She didn't used to take notes at all. She started with me during a period when things were pretty bad - I think when she decided we needed to look more closely at my past. She told me the other day that now she takes notes throughout all of her sessions because she wasn't getting enough time between sessions to record things adequately and was forgetting things too easily.

Sometimes I don't like it that she's constantly taking notes particularly when I find myself slowing down some to give her time to write. Mostly now I'm used to it and at least she's not looking at me constantly which I didn't like either.

Mair

 

Re: Deciphering therapists

Posted by Waterlily on December 3, 2003, at 20:07:43

In reply to Re: Deciphering therapists » Waterlily, posted by Dinah on December 2, 2003, at 19:51:29

"Dynamic, developmental, brief" is how her orientation is listed in the directory of psychologists. She doesn't have me do much homework, so I'm pretty sure it's not CBT. She was recommended by my pdoc. They are both professors at a medical school. I generally have a good relationship with her, as we are around the same age and are both mothers and wives. The only thing that may be holding me back is that she is an immigrant from another country...but that country happens to be the same one that my grandparents lived in. I don't hold that against her as I don't think the culture is much different, but it's possible that I might feel different if she had been born and raised in this country. I don't know... I have a book about psychotherapy and she seems to be doing everything right. I just wonder how I can have a depression like the one I just had if therapy was actually working. I don't feel tons different than when I began therapy, although my pdoc, my husband, and my therapist all assure me that I have made progress. I'm sure there is a biological component to my depression because my dad had it and only one of my daughters has it. If it's truly biological, then maybe no amount of therapy in the world is going to cure me. My therapist assures me that it is not her goal to keep me in therapy forever and that she'd refer me out if she thought she couldn't help me. Whenever I tell her that I'm worried that therapy isn't working she tells me that she's glad I brought up the subject and goes into a discussion of how I've changed and how setbacks occur, but as long as the overall progress is forward, it's working.

 

Re: Deciphering therapists » Waterlily

Posted by fallsfall on December 4, 2003, at 7:21:04

In reply to Re: Deciphering therapists, posted by Waterlily on December 3, 2003, at 20:07:43

She sounds good.

"Dynamic" probably refers to Psychodynamic. This orientation is based heavily on Freud, but the whole thing has been softened by having the patient sit and see the therapist, and have the therapist be more active. It is more a conversation than the "free association" of Freud's Psychoanalysis.

It's really good that you can tell her about your concerns that it isn't working. If everyone is telling you that you are making progress - you probably are! Enjoy it.


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