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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 4, 2003, at 11:58:48
What is the very minimum you will accept in a therapist? With my latest experience in mind I can mention a couple.
THEY HAVE TO (psychically) STAY IN THEIR OWN SEATS!
My old pdoc from h*ll used to be very much in your face, almost assaultive in his personality. It always made me feel like I needed to back way away.
The fluffy bunny psychologist who did my personality testing had a personality that reached out and enveloped. It was warm and marshmallowy. It also made me feel like I needed to get away.
My therapist stays in his seat. His attitude is open and receptive with a firm core. It invites me to move closer and disclose more.
THEY MUST UNDERSTAND THEIR IMPORTANCE TO US, BUT NOT USE THAT KNOWLEDGE AS A TOOL
That comes from stories here. Plus it took my therapist a long time to figure out that he was important to me. But he's always chosen not to use it as a weapon, despite an occasional desire to do so.
Posted by karen_kay on November 4, 2003, at 14:39:43
In reply to What are your basic therapist requirements?, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2003, at 11:58:48
I only want to work with men. I only recently figured out why. I prefer good looking men, but it really doesn't matter because I tend to fall in love with my therapists regardless. I usually prefer younger therapists because I feel that we can both learn together and I don't feel as intimidated as I do with older men. I also look for boundaries and test them on occassion. But, I appreciate the fact that they are in place. As much as I would like a kind touch on the shoulder, I think it would scare me even more. Most importantly, I look at my progress! And right now it is moving at an increasing rate! Karen
Posted by DaisyM on November 4, 2003, at 17:15:35
In reply to Re: What are your basic therapist requirements?, posted by karen_kay on November 4, 2003, at 14:39:43
I use to think I wanted one with answers -- but now I think I'm starting to understand what we are doing...somewhat. I want one who occasionally takes my side, and I don't mean just echos what he heard me say. I'd like one who tells stories...either about their past clients or experiences. I tend to learn from stories.
Not overbooked, so they can work with me about my crazy schedule. A good cell phone, to call back crisis calls. Email would be great!Ok -- so I'm batting about 50%. I can live with that.
Posted by Emme on November 4, 2003, at 18:36:04
In reply to What are your basic therapist requirements?, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2003, at 11:58:48
Minimum? Heck, I'm shooting for the sun, moon and stars. I would like:
a clone of the one I have:
- Relaxed, great sense of humor, very down to earth, and is tuned in to my sense of humor.
- Patient
- She uses examples from her own life and other people's to teach me by example and normalize my perspectives. (My perspectives can be wacky.)
- Will offer specific suggestions as to how to phrase things or how to handle a situation. That way I can learn and start to do it for myself. (my previous one wanted me to come up with all the solutions myself and sometimes I just couldn't do it.)
- Maintains a working relationship with my pdoc. They call each other if they're worried.
- I have e-mail priveleges. Admittedly she gets a lot of traffice from me, but I try to tell her when I don't need a reply. Sometimes I just want to keep her abreast of any changes in my mood.
- NEVER EVER says "So how did that make you feel?"
Posted by Poet on November 5, 2003, at 9:55:58
In reply to Re: What are your basic therapist requirements?, posted by Emme on November 4, 2003, at 18:36:04
They would only be allowed to say "you're in control" one session per month or less.
They would always say "I know what I'm about to ask is painful" before hitting you with something that will make you want to run or cry. My therapist does this and the extra warning that she's going to hit me with something hard helps prepare me.
Home or cell phone number. My therapist uses her home phone number as her business number, which is very convenient.
Email address. I can express my emotional pain better in print. I would promise not to spam her.
Poet
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